Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The NBA, It's Stache-tastic!

Ok, so can we talk about Mike Dunleavy’s mustache for a minute? Seriously, the fact that he is sporting what appears to be a fake eyebrow on his upper lip either represents everything that is wrong about the NBA or everything that is gloriously right about the NBA! I’m personally leaning toward the latter. My interest in the game initially was watching my favorite team play. But I found myself drawn to Dunleavy’s stache like I’m drawn to the first few episodes of “American Idol.” In other words, it was highly disturbing, yet fascinating, so I couldn’t turn away. In fact, I got upset when he was taken out of the game or didn’t have the ball, because the camera had no excuse to be focusing on him. Still, even when it wasn’t on camera, I knew it was there. I felt its presence.

Actually, it is amazing to me that his teammates haven’t tied him down and shaved that thing off for him. Seriously, how can any of his teammates look at him with a straight face? At least Jeff Foster is big and mean and looks like a rock front man. In his case, a stache only adds to the aura. But with Dunleavy...geez...anyone remember that episode of “Friends” where Chandler tries to grow a mustache like Tom Selleck? This is worse…much, much worse. But hey, maybe it’s a strategic thing. Perhaps the opponent guarding Dunleavy is so distracted by the stache that he takes his eye off the ball, giving Dunleavy an advantage on offense.

Oh, and here’s a bonus….we now have a long, lanky, wild-haired white shooter to fill the role that Adam Morrison was supposed to fill. Now, while I would never compare Dunleavy’s stache sporting ability to Morrison’s, I will say that Dunleavy is well on his way to infamy if he can stay healthy on the court and add an inch or two to that stache.
Please Note: I attempted to find a photo of Dunleavy’s lip gerbil, but apparently it’s power is already so great, it cannot be captured using still photography.

BREAKING NEWS: Someone in the know got their hands on a photo of the gerbil.


  1. How about Foster's porn-stache...Hilarious..

  2. Not only were the Pacers a team of pretenders taking on contenders, their staches were pretenders as well when compared to the stachemaster Stan.


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