Friday, February 20, 2009

Special Emergency Meeting of Music Monday

My heart has been filled with joy with this latest trade. I, along with others, have always thought I was a curse to our beloved Magic. I was in love with Mike Miller, Travis Diener, James Augustine, even, damn this is hard to choke out, I promise it was never real, I was just trying to do my part, J.J. Redick.

Skip-To-My-Lou >>> JJ Redick >>> James Augustine >>> Travis Diener >>> Mike Miller

I have faith that my curse has been broken. I spent this season squashing my love for Gortat for the good of the team or was that the promised broken bones by my friends?

This is a day of celebration and it is what every Magic fan needs right now.

Fly's in the buttermilk,
Shoo, fly, shoo,
Fly's in the buttermilk,
Shoo, fly, shoo,
Fly's in the buttermilk,
Shoo, fly, shoo,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Cat's in the cream jar,
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
Cat's in the cream jar,
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
Cat's in the cream jar,
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Here from Texas,
Two by two,
Here from Texas,
Two by two,
Here from Texas,
Two by two,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Skip to my lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

TPASTBM reacts to the Rafer Alston Trade

Well, we here at TPASTBM have consensus on viewing the trade for Rafer Alston as a big win for the Orlando Magic. Here are the reactions from some of our contributors:

The Nickel Steak:
It's hard to take seriously the notion that any trade that works on an internet trade checker is seconds from happening, which most of the internet community seems to buy into. But it's the same logic that makes this trade so strange.

The Magic gave up as close to nothing as humanly possible and got a serviceable point guard who was, at the time, starting for a playoff team. He'll be a decent starter for the remainder of the year and he'll give the Magic a very good rotation at the 1 next season when Jameer is healthy. And it cost Brian Cook and a late first round pick, and if the way teams acted at this deadline is an indication, the Magic will be able to buy as many picks as they want this year if they're willing to spend, and if the Magic weren't willing to spend, then the pick had no value anyway.

I still don't understand how this happened.

Jackie Moon:
While Rafer Alston is no Jameer, I love this deal. Replacing Jameer without giving up a core player or taking on a bad contract shows Otis is growing as a GM. Alston is legitimate starting veteran NBA PG who already knows Stan's system. Plus his contract expires next year and is only guaranteed for $2.5 million. So once he gets done helping us continue our goal of competing for a championship, his contract becomes a valuable trade asset this off season should we choose not to keep him as a backup.

Maxwell Effort:
I really thought the whole "Otis working the phone" thing was a ploy to make the fans feel like he tried but holy heck was I shocked when he pulled this off. Starting caliber point guards on playoff teams are usually not available at the deadline. I compare my feelings to finding a $20 bill in your pocket a week after washing your jeans. Totally unexpected yet awesome at the same time and always puts a smile on your face. I have more Magic pep in my step this morning and that is a good thing!

The Big Train:
I like this deal, not so much because it puts us once again on the level of Boston and Cleveland, because it doesn't. But rather what it does for this team next year. Jameer will be starting again with Alston as the backup PG... A drastic upgrade over Anthony Johnson. Second, this allowed the Magic to get rid of Brian Cook's contact - a player option of 3.5 million next year - without taking back a drastically larger one (Alston is slated to make $5 million next year). As for the first round draft pick, in a weak draft a late first round pick isn't really a loss. Finally, this does not throw a wrench in the process of resigning Tuck when he opts out this summer. I will miss Adonal though....

Although I am excited about the trade and feel that it should give a boost to this season’s potential, I have to point out the irony that two or our most discussed trade pieces – Keith Bogans and Brian Cook – were both traded for point guards and because of an injury. Many Magic fans were hoping that those players could have been used to add bulk in the frontcourt.

But no one can predict these injuries and it speaks well of Otis Smith that he effectively used those assets to fill a need. We really only sacrificed a low first rounder in a weak draft. Bogans and Cook were likely gone in the offseason anyway.

Jareth Cutestory:

The Morning After...

Otis Smith and the Magic were able to make a move before yesterdays trade deadline, acquiring playground legend Rafer Alston from the Houston Rockets in a three team deal. Outgoing for the Magic are a '09 first round draft pick, Brian Cook, Mike Wilks, and future politician Adonal Foyle.

Let's see what the internet has to say:

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Breaking News: Jameer Nelson Has Season Ending Surgery

From the desk of the "Let's Slip This In Real Quiet Like" department, the Orlando Magic announced on their website that Jameer Nelson had season ending surgery on his injured shoulder this afternoon.

Here's the link the announcement:
Notice how they snuck it in along with the bigger news of the Rafer Alston trade!

I think it is safe to say that the decision to do the surgery and the ability to make the trade for Alston go hand-in-hand. One directly influenced the other and vice-versa. The disappointing play of Hedo and our other point guards of late was surely a factor as well. It probably also helped Otis in his negotiations if he didn't have to admit that Nelson was shut down for the season. Hmmm...I wonder if Nelson was getting in on the subterfuge the other night by stating that he wanted to play!

One other factor in why this hasn't hit the newspaper sites as of this writing is that the team was coming back from New Orleans last night. I can't remember now if I saw Nelson on the bench for the Hornets game, but it would have been really easy for Nelson to stop in Birmingham on the way home. The beat reporters that travel to the away games wouldn't have noticed him being gone yet, especially when they were all focused on the trade deadline today.

So, it appears that this is now Rafer Alston's team to lead from the PG spot. As for Jameer, we here at TPASTBM wish him a speedy recover and full health at the start of the 2009-2010 season!

Magic grab Rafer Alston

4:15 Update:

The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that along with Brian Cook the Magic have sent Adonal Foyle and Mike Wilks in order to make the numbers work.

I will miss Adonal... Best of luck politicin' in the future.

Psst....don't be surprised if Foyle is released and signs back with us! FTW!!


3:55 Update:

Here come the puns. ESPN main page:

Magic Answer? Rafer Alston going to the Magic might wind up being the most significant trade on an anticlimactic deadline day.

Hardy har har, ESPN.

Here's the story...


3:37 Update:

ESPN's John Hollinger is running a chat about the trade deadline.

Dan [via inert]: If Stein's reported deal is accurate, wouldn't Orlando have been better off just acquiring Lowry themselves? Also, the post says Cook to Houston, not Memphis.

John Hollinger: (3:22 PM ET ) You are correct on Cook, and actually it would have to be that way for the #s to work. So for Memphis it's basically Lowry for a first. Interesting. I think Orlando wanted Alston more than Lowry -- especially given his history with Stan VG.

Steve (Orlando): So How much does Alston add to the Magic? He's no Jameer Nelson but he seems like a terrific upgrade from Johnson after last night's fiasco

John Hollinger: (3:28 PM ET ) Yes, at both ends. I think he guarantees Orlando reaches the second round of the playoffs, and that added playoff dough is important for a team that just had to borrow $10 million from the league.


From ESPN:

Marc Stein: Looks like we have a fairly significant three-way deal that has been submitted to the league just before the trade deadline.

NBA front-office sources tell that Orlando is acquiring Rafer Alston from Houston to fill the void created at point guard by Jameer Nelson's shoulder injury.

The Rockets will receive Memphis guard Kyle Lowry, Orlando forward Brian Cook and perhaps two other minimum-salaried players to make the finances work.

The Grizzlies will receive a first-round pick from Orlando.

Yes Magic Fans, it's the Trade Deadline

This afternoon at 3 PM is the trade deadline. Like car dealers, many GM's are on the phone trying to move last years models and clear the floor for the offseason... Or 2010.

Word is the Magic are going to stay where they are. According to the Orlando Sentinel:

[Otis]Smith has said as late as Tuesday night that he doesn't expect to make a move, but he will listen.

"I know who our team is. I know what we have today," Smith said."But you always have to listen and hear what's out there for you."

SOP (standard operating procedure) for Mr. Smith, but given that he has clearly said previously that resigning Hedo is a top priority in the offseason, it is hard to see a move that could drastically improve the current roster without jeopardizing the potential to get a fair Turk deal done.

But hey, there are plenty of ways for you, the Magic fan, to waste your Thursday. But for the most wasteful method, here is how you do it:
  1. Pretend that you are Otis and find a way to ship out Cook, Foyle, Battie, and Pat Garrity (?) for Chris Bosh over on ESPN's trade machine.
  2. Go to a message board, like this one, or this one, and post your trade idea. Make sure you say something like, "Otis should do this," or "it's fair for both sides."
  3. When someone let's you know that this is the worst trade ever, that it makes no sense for one or both teams involved, and that being a GM is much more complex and harder than you can imagine, call them an idiot.
  4. When 3PM passes and Orlando doesn't make the blockbuster move to pick up that overrated hack that you think would make us the best team in the league (see Ron Artest), ramble on about how Otis is an idiot and he needs to be fired and blah blah blah.
  5. Go to work so you aren't late for your shift at Arby's.
Happy Trade Deadline Day Magic Fans!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

3 Reasons why Adonal Foyle would make a great President.

Dedicated Magic fans are well acquainted with the Foyle, after signing the one-time NCAA career leader in blocked shots to a vet contract two seasons ago, at which time he was the longest tenured player ever in Golden State history. At this point in the franchise, however, the big Caribbean with the toothy smile is relegated to wearing a suit most nights, an insurance policy in case Battie, Gortat, Cook (sigh), or God forbid Dwight get hurt. But we have not forgotten you, sir.

Let me start with a disclaimer. Adonal David Foyle was born in Canouan, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, therefore is not a natural-born US Citizen. Therefore, according to the Constitution of the United States of America, he cannot be elected President.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way, let me enthrall you with the particulars in reference to the title of this post. Adonal Foyle would make a great President, and here are three cold, hard facts (Presented by Coors Light) as to why.

He's Smart

I know this isn't usually a requirement for politcal office, (See Robert Byrd, Dan Quayle, or pretty much everyone in Congress today) but being smart certainly helps when it comes to fooling people into voting for you.

Aluminum Foyle graduated Magna Cum Laude from the prestigious Colgate University with a degree in history. All while playing a college sport. Think about this next time you wake up on a random couch somewhere smelling like stale Natty and bar sweat and are debating whether or not you're going to attend your 1:00 Civics class at South County State Community College. (If this does ever happen to you I suggest smelling your hand when you wake up. If its normal, spray on some Axe and head to class, if its anything other than normal, quickly head to Student Health).

Now, I know a college degree doesn't necessarily mean you are smart, but...... nevermind, it absolutely fucking does. The guy managed AT LEAST a 3.5 GPA while spending most of his time outside of class on a basketball court or in the gym, toning those finely sculpted Island biceps........ no homo.

He Can Relate to all Income Groups

According to, "Adonal grew up in the tiny island of Canouan, where he was raised by his grandmother and pet donkey and relied on a kerosene lamp to light up his room while doing homework."

I don't know about you guys, but that's about as poor as it gets. Kid's these days complain about not getting the latest Call of Duty for their birthdays, can you imagine what little Adonal got? Probably nothing due to the fact that he was raised by a fucking donkey. I kept reading the bio, waiting to see if he had to stick a banana leaf out in the rain to get drinking water for the family but I couldn't find it, maybe that was the donkey's job.

At the age of 15, he was adopted by two college professors and moved to New York. He lived the middle-class American lifestyle throughout college, and after being selected 8th overall by the Warriors in the 97 draft, he entered the life of an NBA player, basically guaranteeing him financial security and a sudden opinion on the Capital Gains Tax.

A standard rags-to some other step in between-to riches story. He knows what its like to bathe in mud, bathwater, and Dom Perignon. He knows what its like to wipe his ass with bark, toilet paper, and crisp hundreds peeled off a roll. HE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, and he deserves your vote.

And finally.........

He Actually Cares About Serious Political Issues.

In 2001, in between his poetry jams with Etan Thomas, he founded Democracy Matters, which, according to Wikipedia is "a non-partisan student organization, as an effort to counteract political apathy on college campuses. The organization's signature issue is campaign finance reform, particularly clean elections. Active on over 50 college campuses, Democracy Matters involves hundreds of students and faculty nationwide through teach-ins, letter writing and petition campaigns, educational seminars, and voter registration drives."

This ain't no community organizing people. This serious business.

On top of the political aspect of his work, he puts his money where is mouth is to actually solve some problems facing the underpriveledged of the world, Oprah-style.

In 2006, Adonal also started the Kerosene Lamp Foundation. KLF, a non-profit 501c3 organization, helps empower children of the Eastern Caribbean as well as the United States and give them the right tools to navigate life's challenges such as illiteracy, sexually transmitted diseases and economic hardship. (Credit

There you have it Magic fans, we have our very own viable presidential candidate sitting at the end of our bench every night, waiting for his chance to bring the political hammer down on any social issue that attempts to drive the lane on him.

Magic at Hornets Preview

Last night's game sure was fun but it's time to turn the page and look forward to our newest challenger. The New Orleans Hornets. I wonder what has been going on with them??

Oh wait they traded Tyson Chandler!! This trade has been roundly killed by everyone as a cost cutting measure and has all the reaction you need. David West is definitely not excited about his new teammates.

Speaking of Tyson Chandler, he wrote a very well thought out blog post called The Other Side of a Trade last season that is a must read considering he is now on his way out to OKC.

I do not know if this debacle was aired during live game coverage last night but that definitely could not have helped matters.

I know both teams are short-handed but I do not expect this again and I am really hoping I never have to see this again either.

Enjoy the game tonight and remember this is a 8 PM start on ESPN.

5 scandals that will happen before this season ends.

2009 started with a bang. Chris Brown beat down Rihanna. A-Roid was outed for steroid use and admitted to it. Charles Barkley was caught with his pants down, well almost (I missed you Chuck at the All-Star game). J-Rich was charged with suspicion of drunk driving. So here at TPASTBM we have decided to compile a list of the top 5 scandals that we will likely see before this NBA season ends.

1. Stan Van Gundy finally reveals that he and Ron Jeremy are in fact one and the same. Yes, we've all thought about it. In fact this is the reason he had to step down from being the Heat's coach. Pat Riley was going to out him, and he feared people wouldn't like him anymore. We have all talked about it, we knew this already, it wasn't a big secret. The media in the other hand tried ignore and hide it. I guess some people still think porn is not cool. To those people I say, YOU ARE WRONG!!

2. Sam Cassel confesses he had a short movie career when he was younger. Well, he didn't confess to anything, he just never denied it. After further investigation it was revealed that he is in fact a little orphan alien that has been trying to phone home ever since he got into the league. Apparently he believes that NBA ref's are actually robots sent by his home planet to rule the NBA and the World. All of that complaining is really just communicating with mom and dad.

3. After finding an original birth certificate Sports Illustrated will out Lebron James actually being 50 years old. Lebron will confess to his fraud and later on lead the a team of explorer to the legendary Fountain of Youth that Ponce de Leon was looking for many years ago. Ponce de Leon was just a little off as it is found in Houston, Texas behind Dikembe Mutombo's house. Mutumbo later reveals that he is actually 200 years old. This enrages Greg Oden as he thought it was supposed to stay a secret which is why he had not had his treatment for a few months making him reverse to the old man he is. I mean is this kid really 20?

4. Puns will be banned from sports writing. That is all. No more Wizards' sorcery is not enough to beat Magic. No more Rockets explode for 180 points, not even the Lakers can stop the fire. No more Blazers are on fire this week.

5. David Stern will finally have ear reduction surgery. After many many years of being confused with Yoda, Stern opted to have plastic surgery on his big Dumbo ears. Not only is it tough to be a short man and the commissioner of the only major sport where you are required to be a freakishly tall man or woman, he felt his ears held him back from a modeling career when he was younger. This is why he implemented that synthetic plastic ball a few years back, as his own personal revenge against everyone that made fun of his stature and ears. He was quoted as saying "You made fun of my shortness and my circus freak ears, I'll give you a basketball that will cut your fingers. hahahahahahaha". Yes the evil laugh is part of the quote.

And there you have it folks. These 5 things will happen before the season ends. We have insiders everywhere, we played professional sports at some point, we have friends in high places, we are never wrong and it is now posted on the it must be all true.

The Internet talks about Dwight's career night

The Internet is abuzz this morning after Dwight's monstrous career night against Larry Brown and the Bobcats. The numbers:

45 points
16 of 23 from the field
19 rebounds
8 blocks
13 of 18 from the line
1 pair of shoulders

Here is the ESPN recap and accompanying video. It is also important to note the point guard comparison. Charlotte's Felton and Augustin combined for 33 points, 8 assists, and 1 turnover. Meanwhile, Orlando's Johnson and Lue combined for just 10 points and 6 assists.

ESPN's Daily Dime has a few Howard references and an a post game interview. Also, has plenty of coverage.

The Orlando Sentinel took a break from the Caylee Anthony drama to do some sports reporting. Mike Bianchi demands Dwight be talked about during MVP discussions. Brian Schmitz has the game story, including the quote by SVG:

"Dwight's will, his desire, his intensity ... that's what kept lifting guys up. Even though we had a lot of guys having frustrating nights ... what continues to give you the confidence is him in the middle. That's leadership right there. It's not a speech in the locker room or taking somebody to dinner. It's that kind of play on the floor."

Next, the always hungry Jerry Greene wrote about Magic shooting guard Mickael Pietrus home island of Guadeloupe and how to win a vacation there at

Kyle Hightower notes that Orlando committed 13 turnovers in the first half, but only 3 in the second half and overtime. Also, the Orlando Sentinel caught up with Hedo's agent about his man's contract situation.

Next, former Magic man Tracy McGrady is going to have season ending surgery. Ohh have the mighty fallen.

And finally, it is time to give some love to Jermaine Taylor and the University of Central Florida basketball team. This last Saturday Mr. Taylor, who will be selected this upcoming NBA draft, became the all-time UCF points leader at the Division 1 level. Down 17 to Tulsa with 11 to go, UCF came back as little freshman AJ Rompza hit the game winner with .1 to go. Check out the video and, yes, I know this has nothing to do with the Magic. Regardless, if you are living in Orlando and not checking these guys out, you a missing some good basketball.

Thanks to the Orlando Sentinel for the photo.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Scoop: Jameer Wants to Play; Will Otis Let Him?

The OCTB - that's me! - was working the game tonight against the Charlotte Bobcats and was able to pick up a tender, juicy, nugget (see what I did there?) of info about everyone's favorite injured point guard.

Jameer Nelson, looking dapper in a black suit, did a little demonstration for the assembled media members. He raised his head above his body, as when shooting, and claimed that he didn't have much discomfort. After talking with other players with similar injuries, he feels that there is a chance that, after a couple more weeks of rehab, he could return and play this season.

However, the big issue appears to be whether the Magic - namely GM Otis Smith and the Magic doctors - will allow him to attempt rehab. Sentiment seems to be that they would prefer to just shut Nelson down for the season.

Still, after watching the hard fought win tonight against the Charlotte Bobcats, it is evident that we need Mighty Mouse to keep pushing the show. The dude is all heart. Even if he ends up not playing again this season, it is a testament to his make-up that he wants to try.

It might only be a short-lived experiment if he does come back. What happens when he is banged hard on that shoulder while he's driving to the lane? Still, a small part of me hopes that he can convince Otis. Stay tuned!
*Photo courtesy of Sports Illustrated.

Dwight reminds us there's no reason to panic

The Magic get back to action tonight against division foe Charlotte at Amway and yes, Jemeer won't be playing. As the Orlando Sentinel is reporting, SVG is pretty much putting it all on Dwight's shoulders the rest of the way, hopefully with some help from Hedo and Rashard.

However, as many of us are still depressed due to the injury bug, Dwight seems to be doing what he does... Have fun.

The championship might be out of reach this season, but Dwight is still the youngest man on our team, which is full of hope and rather poorly executed pranks.

Fresh Out of the Oven

Last week, I wrote the beginnings of my league wide draft analysis for the past ten years.

As promised, this weeks continuation of draft analysis and rankings by team will discuss the top five in our cookie rankings. These are the freshest of fresh, warm, right out of the oven cookies that everyone loves. The Kings, Spurs, Bucks, Suns, and Sonics (I simply refuse to acknowledge them under any other name), are all in the top 5 of our rankings. How did they get there? Better yet, after a more in depth analysis, will they remain?

First up: The Kings.
From Anthony Johnson, to Spencer Hawes, and everyone in between, what has Sac Town done to deserve our highest honor? First of all, in this span, they have only 15 selections overall. A smaller group is more easily impacted by one or two good draft choices. Their three "best" selections overall? Would you believe that Kevin Martin, and Gerald Wallace, both taken late in the first round (26, and 25 in their respective drafts) come in as only the second and third best selections in this ten year span? Number one? Jerome James.

The Jerome James? That can't be right, the guy was a career back up, and wasn't even a good back up. Okay, upon further review, his PER rating was artificially inflated due to a whopping 45 per from his 5 minutes of playing time last season. Drop him back down to reality, and now the Kings are slipping. How fitting that our first bit of controversy in the cookie rankings are due to a guy nicknamed "Big Snacks"!

Fear not Kings fans, even James wasn't bad enough to drop the Kings from the top five. This small adjustment ends up moving them back behind the Spurs and the Bucks. Still in fine company, and a solid lead over the mostly average competition.

Bonus for drafting Hedo and AJ.

Second Place (The New #1): The Spurs
Manu Ginobli and Luis Scola, both better than Tony Parker? When you consider that both Manu and Scola were taken near the end of their drafts (57 and 55 over all), they tend to stand out as great picks over the next two highest ranking picks from the Spurs (Parker and Barbosa who were taken with the 28 and 27 pick in their respective drafts). 20 picks over all, and two of the top six picks over the past ten years pushes the Spurs into the top spot.

In case you are wondering, Manu is, hands down, the best pick in the draft over the past ten years when you consider his talent level and position drafted. Not every pick the Spurs make is an amazing find however, for every Manu or Parker, there is a Chris Carrawell or Bryan Bracey, guys who never played in the NBA, ever. In the end, the good outweighs the bad, and the Spurs are holding firmly onto the top spot of our cookie rankings.

Third (now Second) Overall: The Bucks
How do the Bucks make it so high in rankings? I have three names for you. Michael Redd, Ramon Sessions, and Rafer Alston. All late second round draft picks (Alston was 39 overall, but Redd was 43 and Sessions 56).

Bonus for drafting Pat Garrity.

Fourth Place: The Suns
The Suns are interesting. Unlike most teams, every single pick from the Suns over the past 10 years has made an NBA roster. Of course, they sell off, or trade, most of their picks, so they also have the fewest picks overall for our data set as well (for all teams except the Bobcats, who haven't even been around for the full time frame). Way to go Phoenix! Your single stellar pick,

Stephen Jackson with the 42 pick in the '97 draft earn you fresh out of the oven status. What happens when you actually have to start using the draft to find talent?

Finishing Out the Top Five: Sonics
The Sonics have made the most selections out of our top group, 29 picks in the past ten years. One pick stands out above the rest, but they have several solid selections overall. Rashard Lewis, selected with the 32 pick in '98 is their standout. Solid picks like Earl Watson, Mark Blount, Carl Landry, and Willie Green (also all second round picks) show the Sonics to be a fairly craft team in the NBA draft.

Bonus for drafting Rashard Lewis.

Five teams, all having struck gold late in the second round. We should all be so lucky. Seriously. There is more to creating and sustaining a competitive team than just drafting, but the ability to find talent late in the draft certainly helps. Though keeping and cultivating that talent certainly goes a long way as well. Its one of the big differences between a team like the Spurs, and rest of the top five.

That wraps things up for this week. Thanks for tuning in (shouldn't you be working?), and don't forget to let me know what you think! Next week, Cooled Off, but Still Fresh and Delicious: Golden State, Pacers, Celtics, LeBrons, Pistons, and Wizards.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Music Monday

Exactly 2 weeks ago, Jameer Nelson went down with a torn labrum. The little guy has been irreplaceable since then, as the Magic have tried to put Anthony Johnson in the starting spot, which have provided mixed results thus far. Word out of Magic camp says GM Otis Smith prefers Jameer pack it in for the year and go ahead with the surgery now, rather then delay it and miss time next season.

Today, TPASTBM pays tribute to the big guy, with this touching song to remind us not to forget about him. We won't Jameer, we won't....

Hey, hey, hey ,hey

Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby

Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby

Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me

Will you stand above me?
Look my way, never love me
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down

Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Don't you try to pretend
It's my feeling we'll win in the end
I won't harm you or touch your defenses
Vanity and security

Don't you forget about me
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Going to take you apart
I'll put us back together at heart, baby

Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me

As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
When you walk away

Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on - call my name
Will you all my name?

I say :
La la la...

Get me outta here!

My goal in this post is to mention 10 companies or products.

"Help! Help!, I just want to go home!" I screamed.

"It never ends, ever. It just repeats and repeats, with each time being more and more blatant!"

That's pretty much how it went down. I was lost in the woods this last weekend and I couldn't get out. Everywhere I turned it looked the same, and there were always these crudely assembled stick figures and rocks and plies of leaves that would show up all the time. I urinated myself.

Ya see, the woods I was lost in was All-Star Weekend, and the endless stream of crap was the 592,934 advertisements. They were everywhere. Our guy Dwight had a Sprite logo on his jersey during the dunk contest. Rashard had a Footlocker patch on his. Everything was brought to you in part by something else. T-Mobile sells phones. PlayStation, video games. There were billboards and entire sides of skyscrapers devoted to pushing products.

Even those fortunate enough to have DVR couldn't avoid it. Our lovely image of the day is Dwight sitting on a Sprite cube of some sort. McDonald's. During every timeout, or after every player did something they were given a Gatorade. Mmm, thirst quenching.

And I find it disturbing to see Mr. Charles Barkley doing T-Mobile adds with Dwayne Wade and our D12. It is chilling that our society (advertisers) decided that it is a worse crime to take in a bit of weed like Michael Phelps than to carelessly drive around town drunk. After all, there were only 16,885 alcohol-related fatalities in 2005, which accounts for 39 percent of all traffic deaths. But, hey, whatever, buy another phone. Kathleen Parker of the Washington Post put it best.

Anywho, back to advertisements. Haier. Now I am not so naive enough to think that this past weekend didn't cost the NBA a few bucks to put on, and that the advertisements obviously go towards helping to pay for such shanaggans. But still, at what point does it stop being complimentary and start being shoved down your throat?

Look no further than our Dwight Howard. Last year's All-Star weekend undoubtedly put him on the map. He went from being a damn good basketball player to a marketing jewel. That Superman cape has got to be worth a hundred million dollars. I don't blame Dwight, or Adidas, or Nike, or any other company or person. I blame the Leviathan (nice word, huh?) that was created and has taken over practically everything. This is a good film.

And finally, this post also serves in part to announce that we here at TPASTBM are selling ad space to finance this operation. We need money. Ohh, and State Farm and Cialis.

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Credit "Sebi" from the Orlando Magic Message board for the title graphic.

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