The OCTB's Fat From the Fryer: Magic vs. Suns

• Shaq vs. Dwight: epic battle in the post against the game’s best big man and the game’s biggest, uh, big man. First time in a while that I focused more on an individual matchup vs. the team matchup.
• You ever used a medicine ball? After shooting or passing with a weighted medicine ball, a regular ball suddenly seems lighter than air. Dwight Howard must have experienced this concept when Shaq left the game and he suddenly found himself guarded by...wait for it...Louis Amundson.
• Still plenty of boos for both Grant Hill and Shaquille O’Neal. Anyone who thinks that these guys shouldn’t be booed just can’t appreciate how a sports fan takes things to heart. And with affairs of the heart, logic is not a factor.
• During a timeout, the jumbotron showed Rafer Alston answering the question, “what is your favorite movie.” His answer, “Breakin” and “Breakin II: Electric Boogaloo!”
• Tyronn Lue’s new role: world’s ugliest cheerleader.
• Robin Lopez = Sideshow Bob
• Another technical foul called on Dwight…this is beginning to be a habit and I hate to see it. He is already in double-digit techs for the season and if he keeps this up, he will start to look more and more like Tim Duncan, but not in the “four rings and great glasswork” way.
• Shaq actually flopped! Shaq!! Is there another player in the NBA besides Dwight Howard who could have made Shaq even consider flopping? Shaq flopping is as strange a site as seeing me without the Fries On The Side!
• The Magic were a mess with the turnovers, they kept pushing too much, rushing their passes, and making dangerous passes. The Suns looked like an NFL secondary.
• I was relieved to finally have a team visit the O-Rena who, despite having some serious star power, didn’t have much of a vocal following in the audience like we’ve seen lately with Detroit, Boston, and Cleveland.
• Both Dwight Howard and Shaq received technical fouls for arguing fouls drawn by the other. No further proof is needed that the two players were “super”-hyped (see what I did there?) for this matchup.
• From the “Jump In the Fryer If You’ve Heard This Before” Department: In the fourth quarter, when Shaq was called for a technical for arguing a foul called on Steve Nash, Rashard Lewis shot the technical free throw. Then Dwight stepped to the line to take his two free throws. After making the first one, the ref gave the ball to Steve Nash and the Suns headed up the court! All the Magic players and the entire audience was alarmed, saying “he gets two shots!” I was pleased to see that the Magic players had the presence of mind to head back up the court on defense while they protested. Obviously the ref made a mistake but it says right here that Steve Nash was pretty sneaky to take advantage of it like he did. There should have been a delay of game warning given. I don’t care if it was the refs fault. Kudos to Howard for hitting both free throws despite the interruption.

After the game, I went to the visiting locker room. I was able to get a quick moment with Grant Hill. Here are two questions and two answers from The Ankle. The first question is one that another media member asked, but I thought it was worth sharing, because it dispells stories of Hill and Shaq coming back as owners. The second question was asked by the OCTB himself.

Question: “Do you see yourself being involved with this team (the Magic) down the line at some point.”
Grant Hill: “Being involved? Nah…I’ll be a fan when I’m done playing. I’ll be involved as a fan.”

Question: “This is your second game back and there was still a negative reaction from the crowd. Did that affect your game?”
Grant Hill: “Nah, nah, I just played bad. I’ve played bad all year at the four position. So...uh, nah, I came out…played a good first quarter but just didn’t get into a good rhythm there. That’s just part of the game.”

Tell us what you really think Shaq

Asked whether Dwight Howard's Superman mystique is bothering him, Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O'Neal said:

Doesn't bother me. I can't be impressed by something I invented in '92. I mean, you look at what he is doing, I've been there and done that. Every street he is driving down in Orlando, I have been on that street. Every nightclub, every restaurant. ... I have been there and done that. Until he wins three, four championships, then we can talk about him. But right now, he is just like every other big guy: 'You can run and jump, but you haven't won yet.'

Here is the Stats LLC preview...

Who is the real Superman? Dwight vs. Shaq

Let me start by saying I am biased here, but considering your are reading an Orlando Magic blog this shouldn't come as a surprise. But who really deserves to have the nickname “Superman” over the other? Shaq had it first and tattood it on his arm, but Dwight made it his own by flying in the cape for one of the most memorable dunks in the NBA slam dunk competition.

Sometimes I get the feeling Shaq is having an identity crisis with all the nicknames he has like Big Kahuna, Big Aristotle, Big Cactus, Shaq Diesel and of course Superman (among others). Does he really need all these nicknames? Does he really need a nick name at all? His name itself “Shaq” pretty identifies him to most people on the planet! How many other famous people are there named Shaq? Dwight on the other is more common name used by many people some who are very famous. Physically, Shaq is a rare combination of size, strength, and agility (more so in his younger years) that he sometimes appears to be superhuman but if you had to pin a Superhero label on him. I would go with the Incredible Hulk myself not only are the physical attributes closer, but so are the emotional aspects. Don’t make him angry or will leave town and call your city a “dried up little pond”, not to mention the Kobe bashing after his divorce (or trade) from the Lakers.

Dwight on the other hand is the real “Superman”, not only does he have the same superhuman physical skills as Shaq has but he can fly without his teammates holding him up! Dwight looks like a man of steel to the point he looks like he was molded instead of born. Off the court Dwight nearly always has a smile to go with his well mannered interviews and off the court comedy routines.

I have been a Magic fan since the day the NBA announced my hometown was being awarded a franchise. I have watched both of the future Hall of Fame centers be drafted, fight through their rookie struggles and grow up to be considered among the NBA elite players. Both have given me great joy in watching their domination of the paint, but to me Dwight will always be Superman regardless of how his career goes. It fits like no other nickname does.

As for Shaq, I admit to having hard feelings for him leaving town to join the Hollywood scene. Not to mention leading our in state rivals the Heat to their one and only championship. But I will always have fond memories of the finals team you lead and your leading role in helping establish our expansion team in a way that Charlotte and Vancouver were unable to do. To me you always be Shaq Diesel, an immovable force in the paint who knows how to carry the weight of his team.

Get me outta here!

My goal in this post is to mention 10 companies or products.

"Help! Help!, I just want to go home!" I screamed.

"It never ends, ever. It just repeats and repeats, with each time being more and more blatant!"

That's pretty much how it went down. I was lost in the woods this last weekend and I couldn't get out. Everywhere I turned it looked the same, and there were always these crudely assembled stick figures and rocks and plies of leaves that would show up all the time. I urinated myself.

Ya see, the woods I was lost in was All-Star Weekend, and the endless stream of crap was the 592,934 advertisements. They were everywhere. Our guy Dwight had a Sprite logo on his jersey during the dunk contest. Rashard had a Footlocker patch on his. Everything was brought to you in part by something else. T-Mobile sells phones. PlayStation, video games. There were billboards and entire sides of skyscrapers devoted to pushing products.

Even those fortunate enough to have DVR couldn't avoid it. Our lovely image of the day is Dwight sitting on a Sprite cube of some sort. McDonald's. During every timeout, or after every player did something they were given a Gatorade. Mmm, thirst quenching.

And I find it disturbing to see Mr. Charles Barkley doing T-Mobile adds with Dwayne Wade and our D12. It is chilling that our society (advertisers) decided that it is a worse crime to take in a bit of weed like Michael Phelps than to carelessly drive around town drunk. After all, there were only 16,885 alcohol-related fatalities in 2005, which accounts for 39 percent of all traffic deaths. But, hey, whatever, buy another phone. Kathleen Parker of the Washington Post put it best.

Anywho, back to advertisements. Haier. Now I am not so naive enough to think that this past weekend didn't cost the NBA a few bucks to put on, and that the advertisements obviously go towards helping to pay for such shanaggans. But still, at what point does it stop being complimentary and start being shoved down your throat?

Look no further than our Dwight Howard. Last year's All-Star weekend undoubtedly put him on the map. He went from being a damn good basketball player to a marketing jewel. That Superman cape has got to be worth a hundred million dollars. I don't blame Dwight, or Adidas, or Nike, or any other company or person. I blame the Leviathan (nice word, huh?) that was created and has taken over practically everything. This is a good film.

And finally, this post also serves in part to announce that we here at TPASTBM are selling ad space to finance this operation. We need money. Ohh, and State Farm and Cialis.