*TPASTBM members "Jareth Cutestory" and "Maxwell Effort" contributed to this post.
Ever since talk of the Magic gaining a back-up point guard started, the inane, hysterical rabble in Magic Land has increased to the level of a Jonas Brothers concert.
The average Magic fan posting on the interwebs feels one of two ways: 1) that Orlando Magic GM Otis Smith is an idiot for risking our salary cap to acquire a solid point guard with multiple years left on his deal or, 2) that Otis Smith is an idiot for trading for a point guard who’s contract expires this season but has the basketball skills of Bill Murray. Oh and by the way, at some time in the last two days, Keith Bogans became the second coming of Jimmy Chitwood.
Unfortunately, we can’t have it both ways. A sacrifice must be made, one way or the other. But certainly we cannot assume that any other team or GM assigns the same value to our roster that we do.
So, since the Magic have now traded Keith Bogans for Tyronn Lue and cash, the folks at TPASTBM got together and have come up with an idiot-proof template for viewing the true value of the Orlando Magic’s roster. You know, for the next time such a disaster strikes.
Feel free to print this out, roll it up, and use it to slap some sense into the nearest hysterical Magic fan.
- Status Level “Elite:” Dwight Howard
- Status Level “Superstar:” Rashard Lewis
- Status Level “Above Average/Getting Close to Superstar If You Do It Another Season:” Jameer Nelson
- Status Level “I’d like to Say You’re Above Average but I Have Fears of Doing So Since You Scare Me at Times and Only Know How To Shoot Fadeaways:” Hedo Turkoglu
- Status Level “You Make Me Smile:” Courtney Lee and Mickeal Pietrus
- Status Level “You Scare My Children:” Marcin “The Warlock” Gortat
- Status Level “Meh, You're OK, but I Won’t Cry When You’re Gone:” Tony Battie, JJ Redick, and after last night, maybe Anthony Johnson
- Status Level “Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out:" Keith Bogans, Mike Wilks, Jeremy Richardson, Adonal Foyle
- Status Level “Could You Even Fit Through the Door?:” Brian Cook