Friday, February 13, 2009

3 Point Semi-Shootout

So here we are. We have seen the Magic Alumni suck-fest that was H-O-R-S-E and the lack of skills competition so as Shawn Kemp would say let’s keep this gravy train rolling. Standard rules apply…5 racks, 5 balls for each rack with the last ball the money ball worth 2 points. You have 60 seconds to complete all 5.

Its time for 3 point shootout featuring: Current Magic player Brian Cook, current Pacer Travis Diener, Steve Francis, Doug Christie and Reece Gaines.

Let’s Get to Round 1…

Travis Diener goes to take the ball at the first rack but is escorted out by security who thinks he is some college hippie. He tries to yell he knows Larry Bird but that just gets him in more trouble. No points awarded.

Brian Cook plows through the first 3 racks like a Chinese Buffett but unfortunately after 20 seconds passes out from all the physical strain. Magic trainers sprinkle powdered sugar on his nose and he regains his faculties. 10 points awarded.

Doug Christie is next and as he walks up to the first rack flashes an I love you sign to his wife. He picks up the first ball and shoots an air ball. He then flashes the sign to his wife again and sneezes. Confused he flashes it again as his tampon falls out. He picks it up and flashes the sign again. Time expires and Doug Christie walks away with more I love you’s than points but on this Valentine’s Day No Ordinary Love will do.

Steve Francis goes to the first rack and automatically assumes he has to waste 23 seconds with dribbling and crossovers. Good thing for him he is able to get 2 shots off and makes them both. 2 points awarded.

Reece Gaines is up and last time he was in the NBA he did not miss a 3 pointer all season. He also did not take one either. As he walks up to the first rack he trips over his expectations again and is demoted to the CBA. No points awarded.

Finals: Steve Francis vs. Brian Cook

Brian Cook still woozy from before makes the first 4 but then tries to eat the money ball. 4 points awarded.

Steve Francis strolls up to the rack only needing 5 points. Unfortunately he keeps trying to bounce pass to himself and then shoot the 3. It’s a miracle nobody is hurt and he is awarded no points.

Winner: Brian Cook

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