Monday, April 6, 2009

Powers Rankings

Today is one of my favorite sports days of the year. Baseball season is beginning and the culmination of the biggest legal gambling ring in our country concludes this evening with UNC taking on Michigan State.

It is also almost time for the NBA playoffs so with that said lets dust off some power rankings.

Championship Material

1. Cleveland: 62-15- I think it’s okay to be cavalier with your pregame intro when you have only lost 1.5 game at home.

2. Los Angeles: 61-16- I think the Bobcats have overtaken smog for ownership of Los Angeles.

3. Boston: 58-19- I’ve heard of home cooking but the Bobcats had 7 free throws on 102 field goal attempts. Now that is the luck of the irish.

4. Orlando: 57-19- When Marcin Gortat makes a 3 you know you have capped off a Magical night.

If the Lakers somehow all come down with mono

5. Houston: 49-28 -On paper this team should be awful but they continue to soar without Me-Mac.

6. Denver: 52-26- No Rocky Mountain High for the Nuggets as they enjoy their best season in years and all anyone can talk about is Jay Cutler.

7. Spurs: 49-27- They always spur the regular season with about 20 games to go and just get ready for post-season battle and world domination.

Could be frisky but not to much is expected

8. Portland: 48-28-Everything seems to be roses for the Blazers as they prepare for their first playoff series since the JailBlazer days.

9. New Orleans: 47-29- Hornets are feeling the sting of the 2 game losing streak as they are creeping a little closer to the 8 seed.

10. Atlanta: 43-34- The Hawks have already flown into the playoffs and are locked into the 4 seed so now so who really cares.

11. Utah: 47-30- Get on the saxophone the Jazz won a road game against a winning team.

12. Miami: 41-36-Wade is scorching right now but is finding out its not fun being the guy on a mediocre team.

13. Philadelphia: 40-36- Maybe the Sixers will try and declare independence from Elton Brand this summer as they appear to be a much better team without him.

First Round Fodder

14. Chicago: 37-40-No bull here. MJ has given his endorsement for the Olympics in Chicago.

15. Pistons: 37-40: This baby is sputtering to the finish line as Allen Iverson is now complaining about playing time and is “out” for the regular season.

Still in the hunt but no way they qualify

16. Phoenix: 42-35-Time has set on the Suns and it will be the first Floptus team to miss the playoffs since his rookie season in Orlando.

17. Charlotte: 34-43- The Bobcats are still scratching and clawing as they continue to own the Lakers.

18. Bucks: 32-46: No pun here. I just want some cheese curds.

19. Pacers: 33-44- Well Brandon Rush is doing his part picking up his scoring pace considerably.

Please let us get Blake Griffin

20. Toronto: 30-46- A home loss the Knicks on Sunday left their playoff chances extinct.

21. New Jersey: 32-45-I guess Allen Iverson on the bench Nets victories for everyone.

22. New York: 30-47: The flowers in this garden are finally showing signs of blooming.

23. Minnesota: 22-55: The Wolves are letting their pray feast on them as they only won 3 games in the month of March.

24. Oklahoma City: 21-55: Add Blake Griffin to the electric trio of Durant, Green, and Westbrook and this team could be on the fast track to big things.

25. Golden State: 28-49: I know Stephen Jackson makes love to pressure but the warrior instinct of this team left with Baron Davis.

26. Memphis: 22-55: Break out the blue suede shoes as the Grizz have won 4 in a row.

27. Washington: 18-60: Is anyone more of a Wiz at self-promotion than Gilbert Arenas.

28. Kings: 18-60: Royalty was retired on Tuesday as Vlade Divac's Jersey is now hanging in the rafters at Arco.

29. Los Angeles: 18-59: If this team ever wants to move forward they need to cut ties with Mike Dunleavy and hire Isiah Thomas.

Still bitter about Jameer but his suits are very dapper

30. Dallas: 46-31: Jason Kidd sure had the six shooter loaded as he handed out 20 assists in 3 quarters on Sunday to make playoff wishes set on the Suns.


  1. Not being a homer, but I would easily put the Magic at number 2 above the Cavs and Celtics, despite the loss against Toronto. Other then that, looks perfect to me.

  2. There's two things I hate worse that homers:
    1. Pistons fans.
    2. Getting cancer.

  3. lol.
    aghhhh I could understand why one would come to the conclusion that we should be #2, but considering we're going to have to go through Boston & Cleveland in back to back series with the other teams having home court advantage, after possibly taking on Wade in the 1st round, I can't disagree with how the rankings are here.

  4. I didn't really pay attention to the rankings, just the puns. Raptors, extinct, great stuff.

  5. haha yeah.
    And the Spurs are no longer in the top 10, IMO. Not without Manu


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