The Puns are Starting to Bore me: An Orlando Magic Blog

Coming soon to an Internets near you...

2010-07-15T12:42:00.001-04:00

The Puns are Starting to Bore Me are planning a return. More details coming soon. Stay tuned. Don't touch that dial. Don't click that X. Don't do...anything.

Moving on up...

2009-04-16T10:21:00.005-04:00

Alright, here is that big news everyone has been waiting for!

All of us here at TBASTBM have known each other quite a long time now... Our common bond being the Orlando Magic. We had always talked about starting a blog about our favorite team. Nothing serious, until the beginning of this year. There is a decent chance some alcohol was involved, as well as the desire to show the Internet who's boss. That said, we did some good ole' fashioned brainstorming and came up with The Puns Are Starting to Bore Me. We fiddled with Blogspot for several days, and before you could name all of Sean Kemp's children, we were off and running.

We mourned the loss of Adonal Foyle, and then praised his return. We stressed Orlando's defensive prowess. Cheered the Rafer trade. Marcin Gortat. For our 100th post, we gave you 100 memories. There was some Taoism somewhere. How about the best SVG quotes? We gave away tickets to a game. We offered our solutions, with or without Jack Daniels, for how to rebound from the Jameer Nelson injury. We even discussed the Magic in spanish! And much, much more!

It turns out we enjoyed blogging, and for some reason a decent amount of people enjoyed reading our blog. But, like Shaq and Orlando, TPASTBM outgrew Blogspot. Ya see, we want all the lights, ladies, glory, and attention that the Internet can provide.

In comes the Bloguin Network.

We have decided to join said network in order to reach the next level. (Remember the talk about lights, ladies, glory, etc? Yeah, that's the next level.) The Bloguin Network will allow us to bring our readers even better content, in a much better looking fashion. Honestly, it looks much more official. So, to continue the trend towards professionalism, we have implemented a dress code for all contributors. Jareth Cutestory can no longer blog naked. It really is a win-win for all.

So, please follow us over to the new The Puns Are Starting to Bore Me and get things going!

Also, thanks to "Sebi" for The Puns banner we have been using for the last several months.

Shu ba da du ma ma ma ma

2009-04-10T15:24:00.005-04:00

Tonight the Magic take on the New York Knickerbockers and their frontman David Lee Roth. Enjoy the game folks, and we'll see ya on Monday with some big news!

Rookie Assessment: Courtney Lee

2009-04-09T12:05:00.006-04:00

With only 4 more games to go before the end of the regular season, I think it's safe to give a fair assessment of our 22nd pick of the draft. Courtney has surprised many of us, and has exceeded almost all expectations we had for him going into the season. Being the 22nd pick doesn't usually guarantee you playing time on a title contending team, much less being a starter.

For a position that had the likes of Keith Bogans and journeyman Maurice Evans starting last year for the Magic, FA acquisition Mickael Pietrus all but had the starting 2 spot locked up. However after getting off to a strong start, Pietrus battled injuries and inconsistent play all throughout the year, eventually succumbing the starting position to the rookie. Lee embraced the starting role, and never let it go.

Courtney has been more then just a fill in, or a "good enough" type of player. Lee has come in and provided defense, scoring, and all around hustle for the Magic. Lee just doesn't quit. Take a bad shot? That's ok, he'll go and alter a shot on the other end. Turn the ball over that lead to a fastbreak? He'll chase down the player with the ball and either strip him or steal the ball right back. Miss a ton of shots? I'll get to that later....

He hasn't been named Rookie of the Month, nor will he be Rookie of the Year, but what do those awards really mean anyhow? They are usually given to the rookie who scores the most points on a bad team, rather then the rookie who significantly made his team better in some or all aspects of the game.

I've compiled a list of highlights, stats, and other miscellaneous information on Courtney that he has accumulated throughout the year. Let's take a look....

Favorite Courtney Lee moment: There are alot of games that come to mind where Courtney really showed me something, but my favorite had to be the game against the 76ers on February 28th. Courtney was missing shot after shot, blowing some defensive assignments, and was just having an all around poor game. The Magic were down, as the team collectively didn't look too sharp that night. Someone had to step up and change the outcome of the game. That someone was Courtney Lee.

Lee, despite his poor effort earlier, continued to fire away, eventually hitting big shot after big shot. The Magic eventually won the game by 6, with Lee being a big part of the reason they won. Lee finished the game with 18 points on 6 of 18 shooting, 4 of 12 from downtown. He also took the most shots out of anyone that night.

I remember losing all hope for that game, as Courtney was being left wide open to continue jacking up those shots. But when he started hitting them, I sprung from my chair, and knew this rookie was making a statement. Leave me alone, and you are going to pay. And pay the Sixers did.

Best statistical game: March 23, 2009 against the Knicks. Lee finished with 22 points with a cool 75% FG, 2 for 3 from downtown, and a perfect 8-8 from the line. He also chipped in 3 boards, 3 steals, and only 1 turnover.

Did you know? The Magic are a whopping 25-5 when Courtney scores 10 points or more.

Favorite "Wow" moment: I'll let the video speak for itself.

09-10 Outlook: Depending on whether or not the Magic resign Hedo Turkoglu, I foresee Courtney holding onto the starting position, and possibly becoming an even bigger part of the offense. Without Turkoglu and with the addition of Jameer Nelson coming back from injury, the Magic will still be lacking a 4th scorer. Lee will immediately be put into that position, especially on a team like the Magic. I'd also like to see more plays ran for Courtney, as he often spends too much time camping out in the corner, and rarely cuts as much as he should up until recently. If Turkoglu isn't resigned, Mickael Pietrus becomes the starting SF by default, unless the Magic pick up a legitimate 4 and slide Rashard back to the 3. This would all but guarantee Lee continues to be the starting SG as well. Despite what his role will end up being, Courtney will only improve if he continues to display a strong work ethic and a desire to win games.
Predicted line: 30 mpg, 44% FG, 38% 3pt, 13ppg, 4 rpg, 2.5 apg, 1.5 spg

Courtney still has flaws. He can sometimes disappear on the offensive end, and he isn't exactly a lock down defender just yet. However, GM Otis Smith really picked a winner this year, and Magic fans are thankful to have Courtney on their team for a long time to come.

Credit NBA.com for the photo

Petty, but Pretty

2009-04-09T10:01:00.003-04:00

Ok, I admit up front that this is a rather petty thing to be happy about, but today I am celebrating “Suns Elimination Day” in honor of the Dallas Mavericks clinching the Western Conference’s final playoff spot last night, which simultaneously eliminated the Phoenix Suns from the post season.

I have nothing against the Phoenix Suns. In fact, prior to last season, they were one of my favorite teams in the league to watch. I still like players such as Steve Nash, Leandro Barbosa, and Amare Stoudemire. The problem is, and I’m sure you all know where I’m going here, is that the Suns currently employ the two largest purveyors of Orlando Magic destruction, and fan misery, in the franchise’s short history.

How ironic that Grant Hill left the Magic two seasons ago because he wanted to play for a contender. Well, while we could argue whether the Magic even took an on-court hit from his departure, what can’t be argued is the sweet justice this fan feels by watching the classy, but disloyal, Hill’s fortunes fall when he left us. After all, our fortunes fell from the moment when he came to us.

And what more needs to be said about Shaq? Shaq, in his second to last season in the league (according to him), will be missing the playoffs for the first time since his rookie season with the Magic back in 1992-1993. I guess he forgot that you don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk.

As if there weren’t enough Shaq-related issues in Magicland, Shaq has turned things up a notch this season with his back-and-forths with Magic coach Stan Van Gundy. Of course, Shaq will never be a player that can just straight up give a compliment to a rival. His back handed “compliments” of Dwight Howard this season actually seemed to bother the younger Superman. It is one thing for Shaq to leave the Magic franchise like he did in 1996. That was bad, for certain. But it is another thing entirely for him to attempt in any way, shape, or warm-up, to mess with the one man capable of making us forget Shaq and even take us to places that Shaq couldn’t and wouldn’t.

So, allow me my moment of being petty. Allow me to get a quick feeling of satisfaction that two players who were so instrumental in the direction our franchise took will now be sitting at home watching us achieve greatness without them, and despite them.

Photo credit: Charlotte Observer.

You are what's wrong with the world

2009-04-08T11:17:00.006-04:00

Going to a Magic game is a fun thing to do. Instead of sharing the thrill of a game winning shot with your cat Fluffy, you get to share the experience with thousands of fellow Magic fans. Also, there is usually plenty of ladies around, which is always a good thing considering the same can't be said for your apartment. Still, it's not all good.

Every game I attend I am sure to run into a handful of people who require me to close my eyes and take a deep breath. They are, undoubtedly, what is wrong with the world.

You are sitting in front of me, which isn't that big of a deal. I'll accept you standing up to cheer throughout the game because a) it shows that you are really into the Magic, and b) it gives me an excuse to stand up and cheer too. However, you don't stand up and cheer during a pivotal moment of the game. No, the only time you get up to make noise the entire game is when you want a silly, stupid, meaningless t-shirt. You would think this person is devoid of clothing and shelter and this was really a big deal. No, they just want something because it's free.
There is five minutes left in the 4th quarter and the Magic are up 8. You get up and leave. You "want to beat the traffic." Good, go home.
We are halfway through the 2nd quarter. You walk up to my row and look down at the row letter, then you gaze back at your ticket, then back at the row letter, then back at the ticket. You are clueless. Now, I don't mind getting up and letting people in and out of the row. My problem here is that you have missed a quarter and a half of basketball.
You cheer louder for JJ Redick than you do for any other player.
You bring your children to a game. It's a great thing. I remember going to Magic games when I was a youngster and they were amazing. Kudos to you, mom and dad. However, you don't control your children. Those thunder sticks your 7 year old boy is using? Yeah, those. They are constantly hitting the head of the guy in front of you. And at what point does your little girl's screaming like she just saw Justin Timberlake become too much for you to put up with?
The MVP chant. Serenity now. Where did this fad start? Dwight Howard is at the line in the 4th quarter of a close game. As I hope you know, he struggles with his free throws. Here, let's throw him another distraction by chanting "MVP," like it will actually change the mind of those who vote for the meaningless award. You watch too much SportsCenter.
You drink Bud Light. Yuck.
You might be wearing your Dwight Howard jersey to the game, but at home you have a Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, and Kobe Bryant jersey. Let me guess, you probably have matching shoes for each one too. I'd bet you like Stuart Scott.
It's the national anthem. The lady is doing a decent job, even though she thinks she is Christina Aguilera. For some reason, you decide to yell out a rather silly cheer right after she says "O'er the land of the freeeeee." Why not just wait until she finishes?

Alright, I have to go. There are some kids on my lawn.

Left feeling April foolish, worst NBA deals of 08-09

2009-04-08T08:35:00.006-04:00

April Fools day may be over but this season has left several NBA franchises feeling foolish due to poor choices made in player acquisitions this past year. We at “The Puns” have put together a list of the five worst player signings/trades that have left their teams wishing someone would yell APRIL FOOLS in hopes that it never happened.

5. Allen Iverson / Detroit Pistons – Denver gladly took Billups and his all-star caliber PG play and leadership off the hand of the Pistons for team chemistry killer AI, whose skills have diminished but ego has not. The only redeeming feature of this deal is Iverson’s expiring contract that will allow Detroit to be a major player in this summer’s free agency market.

4. Corey Maggette / Golden State – While Maggette is a solid player, I question why a team already loaded with SG/SF’s would spend $49 mill. over five years on another while ignoring glaring needs at PG and PF.

3. Jermaine O'Neal /Raptors and Heat – The Raptors were so happy with their trade for O'Neal that they traded him before the trade deadline for Shawn Marion and his expiring contract. Even in Miami where Oneal is filling a huge need at center the Heat are only one game over .500 since the trade. O'Neal is a long way from playing anywhere near his salary which is the 4th highest in the league.

2. Elton Brand / Sixers – The Sixer’s will make the playoffs this year but have little to show for spending their precious cap space on the player they hoped would help them to compete with the Eastern conference elite. Another injury plagued year for the veteran low post scorer that struggled when he was healthy trying to find space in the paint. The Sixers are the worst three point shooting team in the league allowing teams to collapse into the paint. The Sixers need a healthy Brand AND to make moves to improve their outside shooting if this signing is to pay dividends down the road.

1. Baron Davis / LA Clippers – Brand stunned the Clippers by bolting for Philly after believing they had their dream All-Star PG and Center combo ready to sign. Baron kept his word and signed into what turned into the most dysfunctional team in the league. Davis showed little of the leadership and fire he had displayed at Golden State the last few years and as always missed a good number of games from injuries.

Next week we will look at the top five veteran player acquisitions for the season

Dwight Howard: Team Leader

2009-04-07T14:19:00.008-04:00

Alot can be said about leadership and where it comes from. Are people just born with natural leadership qualities or if they are blessed enough with great talent in their particular arena can they then learn leadership and guide others.

This question is especially prevelant in basketball because for the most part we hear that the best player on the team needs to be the leader of the team and for the most part it is true. There is no doubt that Kobe leads the Lakers and Lebron leads the Cavs, etc. Heck I remember when Tracy McGrady played here he took a leadership class at Rollins College so he could try and become a better leader. He was not necessarily born with that quality nor has he developed it over time.

The leader of the Magic this season definitely became Jameer Nelson as he not only elevated his game to that of an all-star but you could see he was taking the reigns and making the team his own. When he went down Rafer Alston stepped in with brilliant results but something else has occured to me that I think alot of people are missing which is Dwight Howard has decided to become the leader of this team.

After the Hawks game on Saturday he eluded to the fact that the Magic did not have the energy or effort they needed and that they need to bring that every night to be a championship contender.

After the Raptors loss he called a team only meeting which usually fall on deaf ears but it was a brilliant strategy for him because when he spoke the players listened as evidenced by the boat racing that was handed to the Cavs on Friday night.

I have never been one to question how much money my athletes make or what they do in their free time but I do want to know they care as much about the team winning as I do. It sounds so absurd to think that a NBA player does not care about winning but sometimes all the joking and jovial stuff has led me and others to believe that they may shrug off these losses easier than we do. Dwight is quickly teaching me that this is not the case and when he says he wants this team to win a championship he means it. It has been his message all season.

Actions have always spoken louder than words and trust me Dwight's actions have been so clear I think we might take them for granted. But if the best big in the NBA wants to voice his opinions then I am pretty darn sure his team will continue to listen.

Music Monday... On Tuesday

2009-04-07T10:25:00.005-04:00

Yeah, so we forgot to do Music Monday yesterday. Deal with it. So here is a special Tuesday edition of Music Monday, with Mr. William Shatner.

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And i'm gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much i miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight

And i think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think i am at home
Oh no no no i'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science i don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man

And i think it's gonna be a long long time...

Thanks to lyricsfreak for the, well, lyrics.

Putting all your eggs in one basket

2009-04-06T13:56:00.004-04:00

Word on the streets is that Easter is coming up. Apparently when you are going around and collecting eggs for some reason or another this Sunday, you shouldn't put all of them in the same basket. For if you do so, there is a chance something happens to that basket, and you will lose all of your eggs you worked so hard for. Even that one your cool Uncle Bill hid in the gutter.

The reason we are talking about Easter eggs is because this is exactly what professional sports does, especially the NBA. They have chosen to forgo marketing the entire league, and instead decided to, well, put all their eggs in one basket. A vast majority of games on either ESPN, ABC, or TNT include either the Boston Celtics, the Cleveland Cavaliers, or the LA Lakers. Take this last week. Last Sunday Cleveland took on the Mavericks on ABC, then D.C. Tuesday on TNT, then Orlando on Friday on ESPN, then ended the week on Sunday against the Spurs on ABC. That's 4 times in one week.

Now I'm not whining and complaining and saying that the Magic should get that much exposure, etc. Understand that.

The problem is that other than the hardcore basketball fan, no one knows what else the league has to offer. Believe it or not, good basketball is played in Portland, and Atlanta, Philly, and even Orlando. Just not Memphis.

As TV ratings are more important than pretty much anything else these days, when we reach the NBA Finals in a few months there will certainly be a discussion about said ratings. Last year, with their eggs in the same basket, the NBA hit the lotto with a Laker/Celtic matchup. The Finals scored a 9.3 Nielsen rating (does anyone actually know what these numbers mean?), up from a 6.2 the year before.

That said, who's fault will it be if Atlanta takes on San Antonio this year? Or how about Orlando vs. Utah? Obviously the ratings would be down. But wouldn't the league and ABC be better off it they had actually showcased a larger amount of the league during the regular season so if they didn't get the matchup they wanted in the Finals they would still have a product people were at least somewhat used to?

This goes beyond TV ratings. Teams that struggle in attendance often have their best draws of the year when the Lakers or Celtics come to town. Obviously Boston and LA are big towns and have teams that have been around forever but at the same time are the teams that everyone sees on TNT and are first up on SportsCenter. However, these teams don't need the help as they are already popular teams. If more teams received national coverage wouldn't that help drive attendance a bit when Chris Paul and the Hornets come to play the Bobcats?

In summary, it might be nice for the ratings and the pockets of Stern and Co. and ABC right now for only a select few teams to be on display, but for the overall health and longevity of the NBA, they would be better served to display their entire product.

Powers Rankings

2009-04-06T11:18:00.008-04:00

Today is one of my favorite sports days of the year. Baseball season is beginning and the culmination of the biggest legal gambling ring in our country concludes this evening with UNC taking on Michigan State.

It is also almost time for the NBA playoffs so with that said lets dust off some power rankings.

Championship Material

1. Cleveland: 62-15- I think it’s okay to be cavalier with your pregame intro when you have only lost 1.5 game at home.

2. Los Angeles: 61-16- I think the Bobcats have overtaken smog for ownership of Los Angeles.

3. Boston: 58-19- I’ve heard of home cooking but the Bobcats had 7 free throws on 102 field goal attempts. Now that is the luck of the irish.

4. Orlando: 57-19- When Marcin Gortat makes a 3 you know you have capped off a Magical night.

If the Lakers somehow all come down with mono

5. Houston: 49-28 -On paper this team should be awful but they continue to soar without Me-Mac.

6. Denver: 52-26- No Rocky Mountain High for the Nuggets as they enjoy their best season in years and all anyone can talk about is Jay Cutler.

7. Spurs: 49-27- They always spur the regular season with about 20 games to go and just get ready for post-season battle and world domination.

Could be frisky but not to much is expected

8. Portland: 48-28-Everything seems to be roses for the Blazers as they prepare for their first playoff series since the JailBlazer days.

9. New Orleans: 47-29- Hornets are feeling the sting of the 2 game losing streak as they are creeping a little closer to the 8 seed.

10. Atlanta: 43-34- The Hawks have already flown into the playoffs and are locked into the 4 seed so now so who really cares.

11. Utah: 47-30- Get on the saxophone the Jazz won a road game against a winning team.

12. Miami: 41-36-Wade is scorching right now but is finding out its not fun being the guy on a mediocre team.

13. Philadelphia: 40-36- Maybe the Sixers will try and declare independence from Elton Brand this summer as they appear to be a much better team without him.

First Round Fodder

14. Chicago: 37-40-No bull here. MJ has given his endorsement for the Olympics in Chicago.

15. Pistons: 37-40: This baby is sputtering to the finish line as Allen Iverson is now complaining about playing time and is “out” for the regular season.

Still in the hunt but no way they qualify

16. Phoenix: 42-35-Time has set on the Suns and it will be the first Floptus team to miss the playoffs since his rookie season in Orlando.

17. Charlotte: 34-43- The Bobcats are still scratching and clawing as they continue to own the Lakers.

18. Bucks: 32-46: No pun here. I just want some cheese curds.

19. Pacers: 33-44- Well Brandon Rush is doing his part picking up his scoring pace considerably.

Please let us get Blake Griffin

20. Toronto: 30-46- A home loss the Knicks on Sunday left their playoff chances extinct.

21. New Jersey: 32-45-I guess Allen Iverson on the bench Nets victories for everyone.

22. New York: 30-47: The flowers in this garden are finally showing signs of blooming.

23. Minnesota: 22-55: The Wolves are letting their pray feast on them as they only won 3 games in the month of March.

24. Oklahoma City: 21-55: Add Blake Griffin to the electric trio of Durant, Green, and Westbrook and this team could be on the fast track to big things.

25. Golden State: 28-49: I know Stephen Jackson makes love to pressure but the warrior instinct of this team left with Baron Davis.

26. Memphis: 22-55: Break out the blue suede shoes as the Grizz have won 4 in a row.

27. Washington: 18-60: Is anyone more of a Wiz at self-promotion than Gilbert Arenas.

28. Kings: 18-60: Royalty was retired on Tuesday as Vlade Divac's Jersey is now hanging in the rafters at Arco.

29. Los Angeles: 18-59: If this team ever wants to move forward they need to cut ties with Mike Dunleavy and hire Isiah Thomas.

Still bitter about Jameer but his suits are very dapper

30. Dallas: 46-31: Jason Kidd sure had the six shooter loaded as he handed out 20 assists in 3 quarters on Sunday to make playoff wishes set on the Suns.

Hmmmm....

2009-04-04T19:45:00.004-04:00

While watching tonight's broadcast of the Orlando/Atlanta game I came across this interesting stat courtesy of Sun Sports:

Records vs. Other Top 4 Teams:

Orlando Magic: 6-3
2-1 vs CLE
2-0 vs LAL
2-2 vs BOS
Los Angeles Lakers: 4-2
2-0 vs CLE
2-0 vs BOS
0-2 vs ORL
Boston Celtics: 4-5
2-1 vs CLE
0-2 vs LAL
2-2 vs ORL
Cleveland Cavaliers: 2-6
0-2 vs LAL
1-2 vs BOS
1-2 vs ORL

Exactly. Hmmmm....

J.A. Adande Chat

2009-04-03T16:57:00.003-04:00

Here are the Orlando related questions and answers from J.A. Adande's chat over at ESPN.com.

St. Nick (Fayetteville, NC) [via mobile]: Am I wrong for thinking the Celtics will be more dangerous even without homecourt if they have everbody back healthy. I say that because after Garnett got hurt they gained valuable experience for people like Glen Davis, Leon Powe, House, and Marbury. The bench seemed weak after Posey left town, but now seems just as strong as last year. So that combined with a healthy Garnett I think will get them another ring. What do u think?

J.A. Adande: (3:03 PM ET ) Their thought was they could go into Cleveland and get a game if they had to, so they weren't that pressed. But if they have to go to Orlando, AND Cleveland AND L.A., don't you think that will catch up with them? In addition to the actual travel, it takes a lot of physical and mental energy t win playoff games on the road. Having to do too much of that is taxing (yeah, yeah, 95 Rockets, I know. But that gantlet wasn't as tough as what the Celts could face)

Derek (Lake Mary, FL): Hi J.A!! My vote for MVP goes to Lebron, but why is Dwight not even mention on the MVP talks? He should at least get some recognition from the media.

J.A. Adande: (3:08 PM ET ) He should. Don't forget about CP3 either. And hasn't Chauncey Billups' presence in Denver and absence in Detroit defined "value"? I think if LeBron hadn't distinguished himself so much it would be much more fun to really open up the field. But it's hard to work up a passion for a "should be in the discussion" argument. Even in Mike Bianchi's well-done piece advocating Howard he still had to concede LeBron should get it

Zlatko, Macedonia: Hey J.A. Who is the team to beat right now? I still have the Lakers cause they swept the Cavs and C's plus beat pretty much every great team away, unlike the cavs. Not to mention they are the only team that beat cleveland away. Cavs or L.A?

J.A. Adande: (3:12 PM ET ) Right now it's the Cavs, even after last night's loss

Alright, now that last one was just silly. Someone forgot that Orlando swept L.A. this year. I'm not saying they are the best team, but they should be in the conversation.

DPOY: So obvious, even an idiot can pick it

2009-04-03T12:08:00.008-04:00

Most of the debate concerning this years awards have centered around the MVP. Lebron? Kobe? Wade? However, believe it or not there are other awards to be given out. Of those, the one that doesn't even require a debate is Defensive Player of the Year.

Call me bias, or a homer, or whatever, but the DPOY is Dwight Howard. End of discussion.

Unfortunately, everyone doesn't see it as clearly as I do. For example, take this from Ball Don't Lie:

BDL reader "Tony J." on the MVP debacle: "I've been thinking about this whole NBA MVP race, and I see a potential problem around the corner. Let me explain. Okay, the big race is for the NBA Defensive player of the Year. The reason I say that is, because it appears to be an award that D-Wade is the favorite to win. Well, if that happens, and he leads the league in scoring, while leading his horrible team to the playoffs, it really creates a problem in naming anyone else the league MVP. As of today [Monday], he has more points, assists, steals, and blocks than the other leading candidate! It's going to be a really tough decision, and I hope the league doesn't choose to not give him the Defensive player award because they see the potential problem."

Wrong. Dwayne Wade will not be named the DPOY. Again, it's Dwight Howard. It's hard to make the argument that Wade should win considering his team is not only weaker defensively, but is also 16.5 games back in the division.

Howard will finish the year as the league's top shot blocker and rebounder, and is the anchor of what has become a damn good defensive team. This is not news to TPASTBM readers, as we have touched on this before. I'll say it again:

Orlando gives up only 5.4 3's a game... 4th in the NBA.
Teams only shoot 34% from beyond the arc against Orlando... 2nd in the NBA.
Opponents average 43.0% from the field... 3rd in the NBA.
Orlando scores the 8th most points in the league (102.1), but at the same time they give up the 8th least amount of points (94.8).
Orlando leads the league in the amount of points per shot they give up (1.14).
The Magic lead the league in adjusted field goal percentage (explanation here).
And to tap into Hollinger's numbers, Orlando is right behind Boston in defensive efficiency... That's the number of points a team scores per 100 possessions.

Hmm... It sure does seem that their defense is what carries these boys. The scary thing about the Magic is that there is really only one defensive star on the team, Mr. Dwight Howard. Jameer Nelson and Rafer Alston were never known for their lockdown defense. Courtney Lee has a ton of potential but is only a rookie. Who knows what Hedo does. Rashard Lewis has met the challenge of playing out of position and has improved his defense but certainly isn't going to make any all-defensive teams any time soon.

That leaves us with Dwight, who is undeniably the best defender in the league. He makes everyone around him better. He changes the way the other teams play offense.

The best example of this was the last time Cleveland came to town. Check out the shot chart. Lebron ended up with 23 points on 10 of 27 shooting. A vast majority of his shots were jumpers. Now there is no way of knowing this for sure, but don't you think the man in the middle might have played a role in keeping Mr. James from taking it to the basket as he does so well? In their other matchup of the season Cleveland won the game and Lebron scored 43 points. Of his 27 shots in that game, 19 were out of the paint. To give it some perspective, in last nights loss to the Wizards, Lebron was 11-18 from the field... And 5 of 6 from inside the paint. So, against the Wizards 33% of his shots were in the paint and against the Magic (let's use the average of both games) only 22% of his shots were taken from the same area.

In conclusion, anyone who tries to argue that any player other than Dwight should win the Defensive Player of the Year award should be publicly humiliated.

Credit the AP for the image of Dwight and Dwayne and ESPN for the shot chart.

Magical Look-alikes

2009-04-02T12:16:00.015-04:00

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably either noticed or heard that Stan Van Gundy and Ron Jeremy bare resemblance. What you may not know, is that he isn't the only Magic coach or player that has a look-alike. Let's take a look at some of the other players/coaches for the Magic that have a celebrity counterpart.

Mickael Pietrus & President David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert)

Mickael Pietrus aka Air France aka Peaches aka Mr. Injury has been a solid 6th man for the Magic this year, after losing the starting job to Courtney Lee during his "Let's see what I injure next" tour. The late David Palmer was the president of the United States with a backstabbing wife, a nuclear threat on his hands, and a career in All-State commercials.

What else do the two have in common? Looks, and that's about it.

Hedo Turkoglu & Leon (Jean Reno)

Hedo Turkoglu is the starting SF for the Magic. He is the master of the Turkofade, and will either lose a game for you in the 4th, or win it. Either way, he will drive you crazy. Leon is a professional assasin who befriends a young Natalie Portman and likes plants. He is also pretty badass.
What else do they have in common? Hedo likes to plant crazy shots in defenders faces, while Leon likes to plant...plants.

Brendan Malone & Judah Friedlander

Brendan Malone is the assistant coach of the Orlando Magic, and former head coach of the Toronto Raptors. He enjoys trucker hats with witty phrases on them. Judah Friedlander stars in the hit comedy show 30 Rock, and likes to give hugs.

What else do they have in common? See above, minus the hugs.

Tony Battie & Tony Todd

Tony Battie is the reserve "power" forward for the Orlando Magic. Tony Todd is the rocket man, and has scared children and adults on 3 separate occasions as Candyman.

What else do they have in common? They both scare the crap out of children and adults alike when they show up on your television set, albeit for different reasons. [see Battie's jumpshot and Todd's hook]

Steve Clifford and Superman: The Animated Series version of Mr. Mxyzptlk

Steve Clifford is an assistant coach for the Orlando Magic, and likes to smile in photos and turn red during games. Mr. Mxyzptlk is an arch enemy and sometimes friend of Superman, and has a very annoying name that you have to say backwards to vanish him to his dimension.

What else do they have in common? They both are involved with Magic.

Marcin Gortat & Duane "Gillberg" Gill

Marcin Gortat aka Warlock aka Polish Hammer aka he can be called whatever he wants since I fear him is the backup center to Dwight Howard, and destroyer of worlds. Duane Gill has built a career on jobbing in professional wrestling, and mimicking the "Goldberg" character.

What else do they have in common? They will both destroy you easily with their death stares.

A brief Q&A with Hoops Head North before the festivities.

2009-04-01T09:52:00.010-04:00

Just like any other blog on the internet, we at The Puns... read other blogs, and are excited to find out that other bloggers are reading ours. So naturally, we jumped at the opportunity to do a little Q&A exchange with Hoops Head North, a great Raptors blog. While our answers to their questions are already online(located here), we were happy when they agreed to answer a few of our questions regarding their team and about tonight's matchup between the Magic and Raptors.

1.What happened to Toronto? [Jackie Moon & Paul Ego]

You tell me. Everyone and their grandmother projected this team to be a 40-50W team that would put up a fight in the second round of this year’s playoffs. Bryan Colangelo had hyped this team up to be the best Raptors roster on paper. But this season has become far from that, as it has turned into one big season of disappointment, disarray and confusion. You have the Jermaine O’Neal trade that didn’t work out, you have the coaching change, you have the inconsistent guard play and then you have a team of talented players playing without confidence.

Firstly, the Jermaine O’Neal trade was a dud. Bryan Colangelo has been widely criticized on how that trade panned out, and in an effort to correct his mistakes, Colangelo traded for Shawn Marion but it happened just a little too late. Either way, although Marion hasn’t been as good as expected, he did help fill a void of a good defensive swing man who could score. Guys like Jason Kapono, Jamario Moon, Anthony Parker and Joey Graham have been so inconsistent this season and the inconsistency of the swingmen had caused a lot of issues before Marion's arrival. There was a lot of tinkering with the lineup and the Raps struggled to find the right mix. And it was a domino effect, as the Raps struggled to find the combo that worked (along with injuries), the losses piled up, and as the losses piled up, the Raptors just lost their confidence and it snowballed. The Raps became famous for blowing leads, they would go on streaks, win 2 games but then drop 7 and could never get any momentum going…….until now. Just 70 games too late.

2. Next summer. Bosh is set to leave, he tells them, I want to go to Orlando, but I don't want to leave you guys with nothing in return. Make a sign and trade happen. What does Toronto ask for? Or at the trade deadline.

I’m horrible at these trade scenarios, let’s say Rashard Lewis? Oh......and the Polish Hammer, gotta have the Polish Hammer or no trade. I still wouldn't be a fan of this though as I'd want a franchise player in Toronto. But if we had to, I'd say Rashard and the Polish Hammer. The Polish Hammer would be a hit in Toronto. I don't even really know who the Polish Hammer is but he's got one cool-*** nickname. I'll throw in Patrick O'Bryant as well.

3. Who is your coach next season...My guess is Marc Iavaroni. [Maxwell Effort]

Iavaroni has definitely hanging around the Raptors lately as a “consultant” but I believe you’ll see him on the bench either as the head coach or one of the assistants next season. The rumblings around the Raps nation is that Jay Triano may still be the coach next year with stronger assistant coaches. I like Triano (especially because he's Canadian) but I've got mixed feelings about having him as head coach next season.

4. What do Raptors fans think when they see Dwight Howard coming up on the schedule? [Jareth Cutestory]

For me, I get scared. Big men like Shaq, Yao, Dwight Howard can do serious damage on the Raps. I will never forget that game against the Suns, it was like King Kong going up against a bunch of curly straws. It really exposed how thin we were upfront, Shaq dropped 45 points on the Raps and the Suns scored 90 points in the paint. But I think the Raps know how to play the Magic this time around, they know the Magic like to shoot the ball so the key is stopping Dwight Howard from getting those offensive boards. We've got a little more size now too, we've added Patrick O'Bryant but we've also got an impressive former D-Leaguer in Pops Mensah-Bonsu, who likes to crash the boards, and has been compared to the likings of a Junkyard Dog or Charles Oakley type of player.

5. Is Rashard overpaid? or has he been the guy that put us over the top by learning a new position and being a nightmare on offense against traditional 4's? [El Fantasma]

Rashard Lewis's game is similar to Andrea Bargnani in the sense he’s not one of your traditional big men. He can shoot the three and stretch the defense but can also take it to the hole. Overpaid? Probably. But the Magic are one of the best teams in the L, and Rashard Lewis is a big part of the reason why.

Prediction: Who ya got tonight?

Something's just clicked for the Raptors lately. They're too far from the playoffs and they're too far from that top lottery pick, I say they screw their season even more and beat the Magic. It'll be close, I say like a five point game but they'll win.

Best of thanks to Hoops Head North for giving us their time and answers. We're looking forward to tonight's game, just as we're sure that they are as well.

Credit: ESPN.com for the photo

A Fan Experience

2009-03-31T08:47:00.002-04:00

Earlier in the season the Magic held a contest in which the winner won the opportunity to sit next to the Magic radio broadcasters during a game. The winner, Brian, wrote the following about his experience:

Hey guys, cool blog, I enjoy reading it.

Anyways, I was asked to write a little blog about my recent courtside experience with Dennis and Richie. Long story short, I won a courtside seat for the Magic/Nets game on 3/6/2009, and got to sit next to Dennis Neumann and Richie Adubato for the entire radio broadcast.

It was quite an experience... I never realized quite how frantic the radio broadcasts are. Behind the scenes, there are people yelling facts about the game (Magic on a 10-0 run, Turk has scored the last 8 points for the Magic, etc.), through the microphones, which Dennis has to absorb and then spit back whenever he gets a spare second.

During every timeout, someone (presumably from the Magic's front office) runs an updated stat sheet out to the guys.. and they were kind enough to print one out for me each time. So I have a huge stack of papers saved in a file folder, including a media guide for the Nets, and about 20 stat sheets.

Dennis Neumann was probably one of the nicest guys I have ever met. He was sincerely interested in speaking with me, and dropped my name on air several times over the course of the game. Richie was... just as you would expect Richie to be. Funny, but at the same time, extremely knowledgeable. It was quite an honor to get to talk X's and O's with him (as I am quite a basketball buff myself)

At the end of halftime, I got the opportunity to go live on the air to ask Richie a question, which he answered without hesitation (note that they did not ask me what my question was going to be prior to me going live on the air.. I guess they trusted me!!! Haha)

Also, right before the 3rd quarter started, Dwight Howard came over, as Richie wanted to give him a word of advice on guarding Brook Lopez. Dwight noticed me there, and I got to shake his hand. He's an absolute monster.

The game went down to the wire, but thankfully Orlando won... from where we were sitting, Vince Carter's last second 3 looked like it was going to fall straight in after clanging off the back of the rim, but thankfully, it fell harmlessly to the ground.

Afterwards, I shook hands with the guys, and some friends that took my season tickets (since I was courtside!) came down to visit. Dennis and Richie shook their hands, and spoke with them as well.

I got them to sign my press pass, which I now have proudly hanging in my office.

All in all, it was an amazing experience. Dante (who is also on the radio) kindly escorted me to my seat before the game, and everyone really tried to make me feel comfortable.

I'm only 23, but I've literally been a Magic fan since I was 3 years old. This is an experience that I will never forget.

2008 NBA Draft Redux

2009-03-30T10:30:00.026-04:00

Sometimes you pick a winner, other times you pick Kwame Brown. I could only imagine how many times NBA teams have kicked themselves for passing on a proven player, for a player they felt may or may not blossom. It's easy to say "Well, we should have picked that guy knowing what we know now", so, that's what we're going to do today. This draft is based on team need or long term potential based off what has been exhibited this season, and does not involve any trades. Rosters are based off current rosters in the NBA. Go ahead and feel free to comment, as I'm sure you won't agree with every pick or reasoning, which is what makes this sort of thing so great.

Chicago Bulls: PG Derrick Rose (Memphis)
Who was picked: Same
The Bulls pick up their PG of the present and the future. Rose is still unquestionably the most talented player in this group.
Miami Heat: C Brook Lopez (Stanford)
Who was picked: F Michael Beasley
The Heat has struggled at the Center position ever since Shaq was traded to the Suns. To put a player with the scoring, rebounding, and shot blocking ability on a team with Dwayne Wade is scary. With averages of 13ppg/8rpg/2bpg, he can only improve with time. It doesn't hurt having a player of this caliber in the same division as Dwight Howard.
Minnesota Timberwolves: G Russell Westbrook (UCLA)
Who was picked: G O.J Mayo
The Timberwolves have been desperate for a PG since Randy Foye has proven to be better suited for the 2 spot. The Wolves pick easily the 2nd best guard in the draft, with the defensive talents to go along with his superb athleticism. A backcourt of Westbrook/Foye could have been dynamite for a young Wolves team.
Oklahoma City Thunder: C/F Kevin Love (UCLA)
Who was picked: G Russell Westbrook
Speculation says that the Thunder will draft Blake Griffin if awarded the no.1 pick in the 09 draft. Why wait until then? The Thunder get a legit double/double guy in Love to place alongside Kevin Durant while still keeping Jeff Green at the 4. They miss out on a PG, but with the 09 draft stocked with guards, they can afford to pass on one this year.
Memphis Grizzlies: G O.J Mayo (USC)
Who was picked: C/F Kevin Love
The Grizz get their man without trading away Mike Miller with the 5th pick. Mayo has been dynamite for the Grizz this year, leading all rookies in scoring. He still helps move Rudy Gay to small forward, and doesn't allow Greg Buckner to become the starting shooting guard, which is scary.
New York Knicks: G Eric Gordon (Indiana)
Who was picked: F Danilo Gallinari Gallinari, D
The Knicks currently have Larry Hughes and Quentin Richardson at the 2. That alone could be enough to justify this pick, however, Gordon justifies this pick with his scoring ability and knack for being a tough defender. He is currently averaging nearly 16 points for a bad Clippers team. Add about 10 points to that playing for D'Antonio and you have a dynamite pick.
Los Angeles Clippers: PG DJ Augustin (Texas)
Who was picked: G Eric Gordon
The Clippers have a good for around 50-60 games Baron Davis and then.....Fred Jones? With this pick, they get a speedy Augustin to groom behind Davs, and eventually take our the teams starting guard spot.
Milwaukee Bucks: F Michael Beasley (Kansas State)
Who was picked: F Joe Alexander
I have a hard time watching Beasley slide this far based off his potential, however, having watching him this year he still looks to be a work in progress. Many experts believed him to be the frontrunner for rookie of the year, though his lack of defense has kept him from getting big minutes for the Heat. The Bucks pick him up, and while Skiles is all about defense, he needs someone else to score besides Richard Jefferson and Charlie V. After those 2, there isn't much depth. Beasley also brings some hype to a Bucks team that is often overlooked in the NBA, unless a player of theirs tweets.
Charlotte Bobcats: F Jason Thompson (Rider)
Who was picked: PG DJ Augustin
With Emeka Okafor moving back to the center position since acquiring Boris Diaw, the Bobcats have little depth at the 4 spot. Despite Vladimir Radmanovic being 6-10, he is more suited at SF. The Bobcats pick up a legit 4 in Jason Thompson, who has shown to be one of the steals of the draft, averaging 10/7 in under 30 minutes a game.
New Jersey Nets: F/C Marreese Speights (Florida)
Who was picked: C Brook Lopez
The Nets miss out on Lopez, however, they get a promising big in Speights. Questioned about his work ethic coming out of Florida, Speights has quickly shown he is for real, averaging the highest PER out of his class at 19.08. Speights also fills a team with little quality depth at the 4 and 5, with Sean Williams not panning out the way the Nets envisioned.
Indiana Pacers: F Anthony Randolph (LSU)
Who was picked: PG Jerryd Bayless
Randolph has been inducted into the HoF by Lamar Odom already, but in reality, the forward has shown moments of brilliance in his young career. At the tender age of 20, his lack of maturity is one of the only things holding him back from prospering. He joins a Pacers team that already has Danny Granger at the 3, but an oft-injured Mike Dunleavy and good but not great Marquis Daniels as depth.
Sacramento Kings: PG Mario Chalmers (Kansas)
Who was picked: F Jason Thompson
Probably one of my easiest picks, the Kings have been desperate for a PG to either replace Beno Udrih, or back him up. Chalmers was originally picked in the 2nd round, but has proven to be a 1st round talent, leading all rookies with 1.9 spg, and is 3rd in assists with 4.8 a game.
Portland Trail Blazers: F Danilo Gallinari (Olimpia Milano)
Who was picked: G Brandon Rush
Many experts wonder what this team would be like with Kevin Durant at the 3 to go along with Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge. The Blazers pick up a legit prospect at small forward, all while keeping everyones golden boy Greg Oden. Gallinari has battled back issues, but has shown flashes of why he was picked so high in the real draft. With the young Blazers having Travis Outlaw and Rudy Fernandez capable of playing the 3, they can bring Gallinari along slowly to be ready for the future.
Golden State Warriors: F J.J. Hickson (North Carolina State)
Who was picked: F Anthony Randolph
Despite rarely playing them, it appears the Warriors love to stockpile young bigs on their bench. Hickson is an athletic rebounder who could help a team that isn't known for having guys like this. The Warriors are currently starting Stephen Jackson at the 4. Enough said.
Phoenix Suns: C/F JaVale McGee (Nevada)
Who was picked: C/F Robin Lopez
McGee is a legit 7 footer who could run the floor and block shots with the best of them. Sitting behind a Shaq couldn't hurt the big man either, as he wouldn't have to be rushed into playing time so quickly.
Philadelphia 76ers: G/F Courtney Lee (Western Kentucky)
Who was picked: F/C Marreese Speights
It pains me to watch the Sixers pick up one of my favorite players, but with Willie Green and Kareem Rush as your 2 guards, it's an absolute no brainer. I was tempted to put Courtney higher, but felt this would be a great fit for a Sixers team with one of the worst SG rotations in the league. The do it all rookie has proven to be one of the biggest steals in the draft, originally falling all the way to the 22nd pick.
Toronto Raptors: C DeAndre Jordan (Texas A&M)
Who was picked: C Roy Hibbert
No knock on Hibbert, who could easily be picked here again, but Jordan fell all the way to the 2nd round after being compared to Dwight Howard in many mock drafts. Jordan stepped in well when Marcus Camby was injured, grabbing 20 boards in a game against the Warriors. Jordan is still very raw, but shows enough potential to be chosen by a team that has a lack of quality big men besides Bosh and Bargnani.
Washington Wizards: PG George Hill (IUPUI)
Who was picked: C/F JaVale McGee
With Gilbert Arenas battling injuries, and only having journeyman Mike James and young but raw Javaris Crittenton as your PG's, the Wizards pick up George Hill. Like Courtney Lee, Hill comes from a small school, but immediately has stepped up and contributed siginificantly to a title contending team.
Cleveland Cavaliers: G/F Brandon Rush (Kansas)
Who was picked: F J.J. Hickson
Missing out on depth at the 4, the Cavs pick up depth at the 2 spot. Sasha Pavlovic has regressed, and the Cavs lack much beyond Delonte West. Rush has been somewhat of a disappointment, but this slot is much better suited for him. Playing for LeBron James may benefit him as well.
Charlotte Bobcats: PG Jerryd Bayless (Arizona)
Who was picked: C Alexis Anjinca
This was one of my toughest picks. Bayless falls way harder then I really believe he would, but I just couldn't put him on any other team. Sure, the Warriors might have picked him up, but they don't need him with all their guards already. He also could have went to the Raptors, with Calderon being their only quality PG. Bayless immediately backs up Raymond Felton, and plays a similar role that DJ Augustin is this year.
New Jersey Nets: C Roy Hibbert (Georgetown)
Who was picked: F Ryan Anderson
The Nets get more big man depth with Hibbert. Playing in an Eastern Conference with Dwight Howard, it doesn't hurt to have a banger down low to pick up some fouls and rebounds.
Orlando Magic: F Ryan Anderson (California)
Who was picked: G/F Courtney Lee
The Magic get a better version of Brian Cook to fill some depth at the 4. I also had Luc Richard Mbah a Moute or Robin Lopez going here, but neither of them can shoot the 3 like Anderson, who is hitting a cool 36% as a rookie. We all know the Magic need to space the floor for Dwight, so this is the obvious pick over the other two.
Utah Jazz: F Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (UCLA)
Who was picked: C Kosta Koufos
I almost had the Jazz making the exact same pick, however, they recently sent Koufos to the D-League. This probably means they view him more as a project then an instant contributor. Instead, the Jazz get more defense, and pick up Mbah A Moute. He can can fill the depth needed as Matt Harpring gets older, and the Jazz battle injuries. Originally picked in the 2nd round, he has passed numerous players production wise picked before him already.
Oklahoma City Thunder: F Joe Alexander (West Virginia)
Who was picked: F Serge Ibaka
Alexander falls hard, but still has loads of potential. The Thunder continue the youth movement and pick him up to backup Kevin Durant at the 3.
Houston Rockets: F Nicolas Batum (Le Mans)
Who was picked: Same
The Rockets pick Batum again, but this time, keep him. With McGrady being injured 80% of the time, Batum fills a depth need at the 3, and continue the trend of the Rockets having great wing defenders.
San Antonio Spurs: PF Serge Ibaka (L'Hospitalet)
Who was picked: PG George Hill
The Spurs pick up a promising young big who has been compared to Shawn Kemp to store away overseas. The Spurs are good at this (See: Luis Scola)
New Orleans Hornets: F Darrell Arthur (Kansas)
Who was picked: Same
The Hornets pick Arthur again,but keep him this time. This team needs depth badly, and Arthur has proven to be able to play in the NBA, albeit still being raw. Putting up 6 ppg and 5 rpg, he is still way better then Ryan Bowen and Melvin Ely.
Memphis Grizzlies: C Robin Lopez (Stanford)
Who was picked: F Donte Green
The Grizz get a quality big with loads of potential to be a banger, but I feel was picked way too high in the draft. With the young Grizz, he can come along slowly, as opposed to being on a potential playoff team like the Suns.
Detroit Pistons: C Kosta Koufas (Ohio State)
Who was picked: F D.J. White
This may be too low for Koufas, but he is still very raw, and can learn from bigs such as Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess. His game also reminds me of Mehmet Okur, who the Pistons let get away from them. He turned out pretty good.
Boston Celtics: F Donte Greene (Syracuse)
Who was picked: F J.R. Giddens
The Celtics have lost Tony Allen to injury and James Posey to free agency. They pick Greene who has the potential to be a great scorer with tons of length. This is a no brainer, considering who is left.

Credit: NBA.com, The Memphis Commercial Appeal, and the Washington Times for the photos.

*I have gotten emails and comments (see below) about Bust a Bucket doing a similar post the night before. I would like to take the time to direct viewers of this blog over there to see how their draft redux turned out, and publicly let everyone know that it was merely a coincidence that my post title was the same as theirs.
Trust me, we come in peace.

Music Monday

2009-03-30T09:14:00.003-04:00

So, tonight the Magic are down in Miami to take on the rival Heat. It's a big game for the Magic who hope to jump past Boston and back into the 2nd spot in the East. In other words, the heat is on. Right, Glenn Frey?

The heat is on, on the street
Inside your head, on every beat
And the beat's so loud, deep inside
The pressure's high, just to stay alive
'Cause the heat is on

Oh-wo-ho, oh-wo-ho
Caught up in the action I've been looking out for you
Oh-wo-ho, oh-wo-ho
Tell me can you feel it
Tell me can you feel it
Tell me can you feel it
The heat is on, the heat is on, the heat is on
The heat is on, oh it's on the street, the heat is...on

The shadows are on the darker side
Behind those doors, it's a wilder ride
You can make a break, you can win or lose
That's a chance you take, when the heat's on you
When the heat is on

CHORUS

It's on the street
The heat is on, the heat is on, the heat is on
Yeah, it's on the street
The heat is on

Credit Lyrics Download for the lyrics.

Now the royal flames of Pompeii bless all our senses

2009-03-28T20:43:00.004-04:00

There are 4 minutes to go between the Magic and the Celtics. The Magic have the ball and, if we're being honest, we can admit we all know what's about to happen. The Magic will stand around the three point line while Dwight sets picks for every member of the Magic, 4 members of the Celtics, both head coaches, 6 ushers and a beer vendor. In the end, either we'll jack up a contested three, or Hedo will drive into 4 defenders and throw the ball up without ever looking at the basket. And I know this, and you know this. We know it because we've just watched it happen.

On 6 consecutive possessions.

And I shouldn't need to tell you that it happened again and again that night. The Magic scored 14 points in the 4th and only made 3 FGs the entire quarter. As in, one more FG than 2. That's embarrassing.

It got so bad that with under a minute to go, I got a text message from a friend of mine in Connecticut that simply read: "The Magic's offense blows," and I couldn't really disagree with it.

The Magic offense is a conundrum: an offense full of quality scorers who can't create a shot for themselves or anyone else. Rashard Lewis can play the post but seems afraid to be a go to post player in the 4th. Dwight Howard seems ready to be a go to scorer in the 4th from the post, but no one will give him the ball in the last 18 minutes of games. Hedo thinks he can take people off the dribble, but anyone who has watched him play this year could attest to that being untrue. Rafer Alston can't finish at the rim. Courtney Lee is a rookie.

In the end, the Magic don't have anyone who can, when defenses tighten, can take their man off the dribble and create instant offense, be it for himself or his teammates.

Except one.

This is where Jameer Nelson is missed the most.

Nelson had proven time and time again throughout his career that, when motivated to, he can penetrate on any point guard in the league. That ability to penetrate, combined with his incredibly high FG% on jumpshots made him an absolutely awesome force in the 4th quarter on ISO plays. Play off him, he'll hit 20 footers all day. Crowd him, and he'll walk up, down over and all into the paint like you weren't even there. And if he gets to the paint and help comes, the Magic have a small army of shooters eagerly waiting for the ball.

And there was also this guy in the middle named Howard waiting for rebounds/alley-oops.

That's all I could think about watching those last few minutes against Boston:

Watching as Derek Fisher repeatedly backed off Nelson, only for Jameer to bury jumper after jumper in his face.

Remembering how Nelson spent so much time going into the paint against the Raptors in last year's playoffs, you'd have thought he was investing in real estate there.

I thought about his clutch shots earlier in the season, his constant creating during the 4th quarters when the Magic's offense would bog down. How he'd create wide open looks for Lewis and Turkoglu. How he'd find Courtney Lee slashing for midrange jumpers. How when it got too bad, he'd just take it to the hole himself.

And then I thought: "Oh sweet God, we just turned the ball over again."

Get well soon, Jameer.

Vote for Stan Van Gundy!

2009-03-27T15:14:00.005-04:00

As you can tell, we here at TPASTBM kinda like the coach of the Orlando Magic. The guys over at BDL are having a tournament of sorts, consisting of 32 things that we the fans may or may not love about the NBA. A matchup of No. 4 seed Stan Van Gundy is taking on No. 5 seed Jeff Van Gundy in the 1st round.

We ask you to go and show your support for our beloved coach, and keep the frontrunning alive.

Shaq Proves he is still a big tool

2009-03-27T12:28:00.004-04:00

Remember all the talk from Shaquille a few weeks ago? Remember all the stupid name calling and put downs? The guy is getting old fast, and his ego won't admit it. He can't just let go.

Here's a few quotes from the big Shaqtus himself after last night's loss to the Blazers.

You don't like the floppers do you, asked one reporter.

"No. It just shows you are giving in. The referees are probably going to go for that every time. You've got to now (flop). It's the only way you can stop a person. It's kind of crazy the refs go for that."

No Shaq. You don't have to flop to stop a person. You are just getting old, and heavier, and you can't move around as you used to. Plain and simple. You are like the old polar bear that is too old to hunt and have to rely on scavaging for food. I'll give you this, this season you have played pretty good. I mean for an old dinosaur you aren't bad. But just admit it man. You have to flop to be competitive these days. Its ok. Seriously. No one will hate you for it. Stop being so proud and just say it. It would make it much better, and will make you look much better if you play that angle. Come on and say, hey man, I'm old, fat and slow. I'll do whatever I have to do to still compete and win. I think we would all respect you for that. Instead you keep sounding like a little kid in the playground that just won't let any other kid play with his brand new ball.

At least he did say this right after.

So what did Shaq think of Oden?

"I don't. I'm a Shogun. You can't ask me about a low level ninja. I still have to worry about Yao Ming, Dwight Howard."

He finally gave Dwight Howard some love. Well some weird twisted respect and love. I guess Dwight Howard is a high level Ninja in the league. Baby steps Shaq. Baby Steps.

Dwight in a Foul Mood!

2009-03-27T09:05:00.009-04:00

Wednesday's Boston game had all the makings of playoff basketball, including the refs swallowing their whistles and letting the teams get very physical. When seeing his young star center again not get a call when the defender was INTENTIONALLY trying to foul to prevent an easy basket Stan Van Gundy did what good coaches do and blasted the officials until they gave him a technical foul. Part of me also felt Stan did it to ensure he got the tech and not Dwight who this season has joined a club he has never been a part of.

Looking at the NBA stat leaders in this category makes it one that is very easy to identify. Rasheed Wallace, Carmelo Anthony and Stephan Jackson present and accounted for, but where is Mr. Iverson and why is his seat filled by this 6-11 physical phenom who always seems to be smiling? Yes, oddly enough our own comical, smiling, media friendly Dwight Howard has suddenly joined the usual foul tempered league leaders in getting technical fouls. His total of 13 for the season ties him with Carmelo Anthony for third and is only 3 away from a one game mandatory suspension. In fact Dwight's sudden rise in this category has nearly matched his entire previous four year career total of 16.

Why the sudden rise you say? Dwight has become such a handful in the paint that teams have resorted to flopping (that includes you Shaq), clubbing, and grabbing along with the double and triple teams he receives on a nightly basis. Teams have decided that the best defense against Dwight is to put him on the line (Dwight leads the league in free throw attempts per game) to test his career 60% free throw percentage or try to get him in foul trouble by drawing offensive fouls. This treatment unfortunately leads to a lot of missed calls because the sheer volume of the fouls but quite often calls are blown. The refs need to be made aware that although Dwight looks like a man of steel he can still be injured when teams send 2,3 and sometimes 4 people after you during a game with the full intent of using their full allotment of six fouls.

Quite honestly, I believe other star big men like current Magic coach Patrick Ewing have told him that sometimes he has to put aside his bubbly personality and let the officials know they still have a job to do in protecting him... Even if it means getting technical fouls! Unfortunately in the NBA it is a well known fact the "squeaky wheel gets the grease" which is why you see the "who's, who" of NBA stars and coaches spending a good deal of game time complaining to officials.

"They live and die by the 3!"

2009-03-26T10:32:00.003-04:00

Yep, if you are a Magic fan I'm sure you have heard that one about 100 times this season."All they do is shoot 3's and when they are not falling in the playoffs, and when the game slows down, they will lose." Sure, the Magic shoot a lot from behind the arc (they currently lead the league with 10.3 made per game on 26.6 attempts) and there certainly will be games when it is not falling. However, as so many people fail to notice, it really isn't the 3 that is leading to all these wins.

It's the freaking defense!

Just ask Stan Van Gundy and Dwight Howard which is more important. So many talking heads fail to see that Orlando ranks towards the top in almost every important defensive category:

Orlando gives up only 5.4 3's a game... 4th in the NBA.
Teams only shoot 34% from beyond the arc against Orlando... 2nd in the NBA.
Opponents average 43.0% from the field... 3rd in the NBA.
Orlando scores the 8th most points in the league (102.1), but at the same time they give up the 8th least amount of points (94.8).
Orlando leads the league in the amount of points per shot they give up (1.14).
The Magic lead the league in adjusted field goal percentage (explanation here).
And to tap into Hollinger's numbers, Orlando is right behind Boston in defensive efficiency... That's the number of points a team scores per 100 possessions.

Hmm... It sure does seem that their defense is what carries these boys. The scary thing about this team is that there is really only one defensive star on the team, Mr. Dwight Howard. Jameer Nelson and Rafer Alston were never known for their lockdown defense. Courtney Lee has a ton of potential but is only a rookie. Who knows what Hedo does. Rashard Lewis has met the challenge of playing out of position and has improved his defense but certainly isn't going to make any all-defensive teams any time soon.

That leaves us with Dwight, who is undenyably the best defender in the league. Anyone who tries to argue that anyone other than Dwight should win the Defensive Player of the Year award should be publically humiliated.

ESPN's Daily Dime... Swing and a miss

2009-03-26T08:40:00.005-04:00

The Magic are getting all sorts of ESPN love this morning... Too bad they don't check their facts. According to ESPN, "Dwight Howard had 24 points and 21 rebounds -- his eighth 20-20 game of his young career."

Wrong.

Last night was his eighth 20-20 game of the season, not his career.

Credit the Orlando Sentinel for the photo.

Thorpedo Chat Wrap

2009-03-25T12:39:00.005-04:00

Our favorite ESPN chatterbox David Thorpe had a chat today over at ESPN.com. Here are some Magic related highlights.

David (Italy) [via mobile]: Does SVG have a point about Ewing?

David Thorpe: (12:03 PM ET ) No.

Daniel (Broadalbin, NY): Orlando Playoffs, I feel depend on Courtney Lee. He has been incredible for a late round draft pick.

David Thorpe: (12:21 PM ET ) Yes he has, and he'll only get much, much better.

Alex (Orlando, FL): Who do you foresee be the upcoming drafts "Courtney Lee". Also, is Brandon Roy-lite shooting too high for Courtney's ceiling?

David Thorpe: (12:28 PM ET ) Actually, B Roy is who I had C Lee study last spring and summer. I think Wayne Ellington can play like Lee, Henderson too.

Zack (Akron, OH): David, I want to apologize. Last week I asked you for predictions for the Cavs-Magic game and you said "big fun." You were right.

David Thorpe: (12:34 PM ET ) See, I'm not so dumb.

And another reason why we like Thorpe.

Chris (Boston): Dave, if you enjoyed Forgetting Sarah Marshall, give I Love You Man a shot. Good story about how you don't have to lose your life once you get engaged/married. Really a story all men should see.

David Thorpe: (12:41 PM ET ) Can't wait to see it.

Tonight: Celtics @ Magic

2009-03-25T08:40:00.007-04:00

Tonight at 8 PM on the ESPN Orlando will host the Boston Celtics in what might be the biggest game of the year for both teams. At stake is the 2nd spot in the Eastern Conference and thus home court against the other team should both advance past the first round. Currently both are tied in the loss column with 18 losses. Kevin Garnett will be back for Boston, as he logged 12 points in 18 minutes against the Clippers on Monday.

Boston has taken 2 out of 3 this year from Orlando, with the Magic's only win being in Boston against a Celtic team missing both Kevin Garnett and Rajon Rondo.

Again, for those of you who will be in attendance, it is an 8 PM game and be loud enough to drown out those damn Celtic fans.

Here is what the internet has to say about tonight's game:

The Canadian Press notes that Doc Rivers is more concerned with getting his team healthy than gaining homecourt advantage.
The Boston Herald reminds us that Orlando's magic number to clinch the division is 1.
John Denton of the Florida Today understands the importance of tonight's game.
As Ray Allen told the Boston Globe, "We've been talking about Cleveland and Orlando all year, [The Magic] beat us last time here on our floor, so this is a big game for us."
If you gamble, the line is Magic +3.5.
Even the LA Times is talking about tonight's game.
HoopsWorld touches in the amount of hype Cleveland and Boston gets.
And finally, here is the Orlando Sentinel preview and Schmitz blog post on the game.

Frontrunning with Stan Van Gundy

2009-03-24T09:55:00.023-04:00

If there is anyone we love almost as much as the Warlock here at the PUNS it's our head coach Stan Van Gundy. Besides wearing suits way to small for him and absolutely refusing to wear a tie he has really been bringing the zingers lately.

I present to you in chronological order our 10 favorite Stan Van Gundy quotes which give a nice blend of hilarity and honesty:

1. On the NBA's player dress code:

I thought it was funny they can't wear any of the jewelry and stuff like that. That's stricter than the dress code in a lot of office buildings.

2. On Dwight's Lack of Defense Last Season:

When you're a great player and a franchise guy, there's more on you. He's got to accept it. He may not like it. He may not like the way I did it. But I've also done it before many times in private --- just he and I. I didn't think it was making an impact, so now it's out there for everybody. We'll see what happens. I think Dwight wants to be a great player. I think Dwight wants to be a winner. But we're in Year 4 and he hasn't won a playoff game.

3. On the BCS:

At the end of the day, we're going to get one win or one loss, We're not the BCS, where the polls and the power ratings and all of that ridiculous stuff matters. This is a legitimate sport. If this were the BCS, I'd have to be lobbying. In the BCS, an undefeated team doesn't get a chance to win a championship. I'm just glad we're in a legitimate sport where it's decided on the court, not one where it's a beauty pageant, where preseason rankings matter as much as anything to winning a championship. It's the most ridiculous thing in sport. For me as a fan, Florida has no more claim to the national championship than USC, Texas, Utah, a bunch of them. Why? Because a bunch of guys in the media or a bunch of coaches say they're better. That's not the way sports is supposed to be. I'm not buying it. But if that's the way they want to run their sport -- with a beauty contest -- that's fine. But it doesn't make it legitimate and doesn't make them (Florida) any more of a national champion than any of those other teams.

4. On Hedo Turkoglu becoming a father:

"We took a vote and there are a few of us that are concerned with Hedo being responsible for another human being so we'll see what happens." The 29-year-old’s coach, Stan Van Gundy, jokingly shared that he hopes the couple’s first child "looks like his [Hedo's] wife and has her personality."

5. Stan on Shaq flopping:

I was shocked, seriously, shocked, And very disappointed cause he knows what it's like. Lets stand up and play like men, and I think our guy did that tonight.

6. Stan on Shaq's reaction:

That's not his normal comments. Obviously I struck a nerve and hurt his feelings. Shaq's a very sensitive guy. If I hurt his feelings, I'm sorry.

7. Stan on Dwight's MVP chances:

For a lot of different reasons it's a perimeter league. Leading the league in rebounding and blocked shots while still averaging 21 points a game is just not as sexy as those guys going out and having 40-point nights. It's just tough and I think people are failing to recognize the other end of the floor defensively and his contribution.

8. On Cleveland's 3 second call:

You won't see that call again. That, I guarantee you. You will not see, with the game on the line, a 3-second call in the last 10 seconds. That's part of the reason they're 30-1 at home. They're a very good team, and when you get calls like that [expletive], you're in pretty good shape.

9. On the Patrick Chewing Commercial:

These guys are really hard on him with that commercial. I mean they are really hard on him with that commercial. He gets imitated on that several times daily. They’re on (the wig he wears in the commercial) too. They’re on every aspect of that; believe me. It’s been well commented on here.

10. On the Knicks celebration for Patrick Ewing pre and post game:

Patrick just went into the Hall of Fame. He's had nights there before anyway. I think they'll continue to honor him as times as they possibly can until they get good enough to put people in the seats on their own. I'm not trying to needle anybody or tell them their business. What's amazing is they honor the guy, I don't know, every year. They honor him, but while they've got a lot of ex-players in their organization, they've never made any move to try to hire him. That to me is amazing.

11. Like the Hemmingway cats, I was born with an extra digit, and it impacts my ability to properly count to ten with my shoes off. So here is a random Stan quote from some game at some point against the New Jersey Nets:

I like that title, by the way. George Bush, you know, is the decider. I can be the decider in Orlando.

As an added bonus here is a video quote from Stan on his catch at the Lakers game this season.

Magic at Knicks Preview

2009-03-23T15:55:00.008-04:00

Hey these guys look oddly familiar. No need to do the formal preview aside from the fact that Patrick Ewing will be honored at halftime tonight. If you have not heard or seen by now not only is Pat an assistant with the Magic but he has filmed one of the funniest commericals to ever hit television.

Here is Patrick Chewing in all his glory.

The players seem to be having fun with it as well as evidenced by the comments from the Magic's official team website via Stan Van Gundy.

"These guys are really hard on him with that commercial. I mean they are really hard on him with that commercial. He gets imitated on that several times daily. They’re on (the wig he wears in the commercial) too. They’re on every aspect of that; believe me. It’s been well commented on here."

So here is to Patrick and another Magic victory.

Familiar faces may come back to threaten us in the playoffs

2009-03-23T10:09:00.013-04:00

The Magic have all but locked up the 3rd seed in the playoffs this year, with a chance they may steal the 2nd seed from the Celtics down the stretch. Seeds 6-8 are an entirely different story, with nearly 6 teams battling it out for their respective spots. Let's take a look at how some of these teams are linked back to the Magic, and how much of a threat they really are.

Miami Heat: We all know the connection here, Stan Van Gundy. The one time coach of the Heat, SVG "resigned" after nearly leading the team to the NBA Finals. One player that he coached up and put the team on his shoulders, was Dwyane Wade. Wade had an amazing playoff run as a rookie, hitting the game winning shot in the 1st round of the series against the Hornets. Wade seems to always turn it up a notch while playing against his former coach, as evidenced by dropping a combined 110 pts (36.6ppg) in 3 games this year.

Threat Level:

Philadelphia: Currently the 6th seed and set to play us if the playoffs started today, the Sixers wouldn't appear to have any Magic ties at first glance. However, if you look closely, you will see one name on the roster that was linked to the Magic last June. Forward Marreese Speights was said to be targeted with the 22nd pick, as the Magic brought him in for workouts with 4 other forwards. Many fans were mixed about the idea of drafting Speights, who was known for having a lack of work ethic and heart. The rookie is currently averaging 7.8 ppg and 3.8 rpg, which are promising numbers for coming off the bench playing under 20mpg.
Threat Level:

Detroit Pistons: Despite having a mental stronghold, the Pistons actually have a player on their team the Magic could have had. Guard Rodney Stuckey was drafted by the Pistons using the pick they acquired from the Magic in the Arroyo/Milicic/Cato trade. In his rookie year, he averaged 7.7 ppg, 2.3 rpg, and 2.8 apg, numbers which Magic fans would have loved to see him put up as their backup PG. The rookie also came through big in the playoffs against the Magic, starting 2 games, and helping win both of them to eliminate the Magic in the 2nd round.

Threat Level:

Chicago Bulls: While this team doesn't have any specific former Magic player on their team, they do still have alot of history with the current Magic squad, and teams of the past. The young Magic team of 94-95 actually beat the Bulls to advance to the ECF, eventually winning that series as well before losing in the Finals that year. Also, who doesn't remember "the steal"? The next year, the Bulls got their revenge, sweeping the Magic in the conference finals, and winning the NBA title. Most recently, the Magic have been taking care of the Bulls rather easily, though the Bulls did manage to score a blowout victory due to an embarrassing effort by the Magic in February. Will the Bulls have revenge on their minds if we meet them in the playoffs? I'd bet yes.
Threat Level:

Charlotte Bobcats: The Bobcats have a chance to make the playoffs for the first time in team history this year due to an improved roster by trades, and the arrival of coach Larry Brown. One thing that has shaped this team was back in 2004, when they drafted Emeka Okafor. With the 1st pick in the draft, the Magic took a chance on a raw, but talented high school prospect named Dwight Howard. You may have heard of him. Passing on what was a sure thing from UCONN, the Bobcats quickly drafted Mr. Okafor, and the rest is history. Dwight has gone on to be a multiple all-star, slam dunk champion, and has led his team to back to back 50 win seasons. Okafor has...averaged double doubles. Will Okafor try to make a statement and try to shutdown Dwight if they meet in the playoffs?

Threat Level:

Milwaukee Bucks: Last, but not least, the Bucks. The 2003 draft not only brought us the stud known as Reece Gaines, but also a solid contributor in Keith Bogans. Bogans was actually drafted by Milwaukee with the 43rd pick in the draft, only to be traded on draft night to the Magic. As a rookie, Bogans put up a solid 6.8 ppg and 4.3 rpg. Despite the rookie success, the Magic traded him to the Bobcats for Brandon Hunter and the Bogans era was over in Orlando. Or was it? Resigned via free agency in 2006, Bogans joined the team again and become a role player off the bench, even starting at the SG spot in the beginning of the 07-08 season under Stan Van Gundy. However, the team parted ways with Keith again this season, in exchange for current 3rd PG Tyronn Lue after the Jameer Nelson injury. There was said to be hard feelings between the organization and Keith, until recently when Keith decided it's all good. In the first meeting against the Magic this year since being traded, he had 0 pts, 4 boards, and 3 assists, while going 0-3 from the arc.

Threat Level:

Welcome Back Adonal!

2009-03-23T08:49:00.003-04:00

Kyle Hightower of the Orlando Sentinel is reporting that big man Adonal Foyle will rejoin the team today in New York.

Foyle, who will most likely join the team in New York on Monday, was waived by the Memphis Grizzlies earlier this month after a buyout agreement was reached for his contract.

Foyle was dealt to Memphis in a three-team trade deadline deal Feb. 19 that also involved the Houston Rockets and brought the Magic Rafer Alston.

Magic officials have previously lauded Foyle as a good practice partner for center Dwight Howard. His re-signing is likely for those purposes.

I for one am glad the Big Charity (that's going to be my Shaq-esque name for Mr. Foyle) is back with the Magic... As we certainly like him here at TPASTBM. In a few previous blog posts we have discussed his presidential abilities and an ad he took out in the Sentinel after he was traded thanking the people of Orlando. Welcome back!

Dwight's Other Assist

2009-03-20T21:15:00.006-04:00

As we all know by now Dwight Howard received the NBA's Community Assist Award in the month of January and on Wednesday had a career high 7 assists against Milwaukee.

It must be pointed out though with the Knicks strolling into the Amway that one of his biggest career assists was to the other team. Nate Robinson has benefited tremendously since soaring over Dwight in the dunk contest.

Lets take a look:

Dime Magazine shows us that Nike gave Nate his own limited edition shoe the Nike Foamposite Lite Kryptonate.

Darren Rovell of CNBC shows us a photo of Nate's 80 foot billboard over Madison Square Garden which is a space that has been shared by Lebron and Lance Armstrong.

Within the same article we see from NBA auctions that Nate's green ball sold for $8,650 .

The New York Times tells us that Nate's jersey is now in the top 5 in sales at nbastore.com.

New York Newsday points out that only Kobe, Lebron, Wade, and Durant have outscored Nate's 25.8 ppg since the all-star break.

Heck The Onion even wrote an article about Nate jumping over Dwight in everyday life.

Though the kudos and marketing oppurtunities for Nate have increased personally it has not exactly led to team success which I am sure Coach D'Antoni hopes is the next step. Either way it will be interesting to see what his value is around the league as he is a restricted free agent this summer.

With that said enjoy the game and the madness.

JJ's Ejection... What Really Happened

2009-03-20T11:33:00.005-04:00

During the Magic's win against the Sixers back on February 28th, JJ Redick was ejected for the first time in his illustrious NBA Career. It was kind of a mystery as to why until Mr. Redick cleared the air in his blog. He wrote:

I boxed out Reggie Evans as one of his teammates shot the ball. The ball goes through the net. Evans starts running up court and after he’s about 10-15 feet away from me he turns and says something inaudible. I still don’t know what he said. I replied, “My bad, Reggie”. That’s it.

Next thing I know some ref that’s forty feet away is calling a double technical on Evans and me. I walked over calmly at first and asked him, “How can you give me a technical without knowing what was said? All I said was ‘My bad, Reggie’”. He said that he “didn’t want to hear it,” and turned his back to me. And then I said, “Well that’s stupid”. Next thing I know he tosses me out of the game. It’s the two most bogus technicals I’ve ever gotten in my life.

Hmmm. Not sure that I buy it. So, I dug into the archives and turned up the volume. What you are about to read is the actual conversation between JJ, referee Monty Mccutchen, and Reggie Evans.

JJ: Hey Reggie, how are things?
Reggie: Pretty good. Preeetttyyyy prettttttyyyy good.
JJ: So, did you get a chance to read that book I gave you?
Reggie: I did, and thank you for recommending it for me.
JJ: So what did you think? I mean, considering the tenets of Taoism, ya know, like Wu wei and scripture such as Daozang, which member of the 100 Acre Woods would you be?
Reggie: Ya know, I thought about it. I wish I could be more like Pooh and just accept life and things around me as they appear, but that is difficult. That said, I would consider myself like Piglet... Always stressed, always worrying. I think I need help with that, JJ.
JJ: That's really interesting, Reggie. Perhaps you should start with a lesson in Wu wei... "Without action." Don't disrupt the harmony that is the universe working in its own way. Place your harmony with the natural universe.
Reggie: Thanks JJ, I'm really going to work on this.
JJ: No problem!
Monty: Hey! What are you hippies talking about?
JJ: Go screw yourself.
Reggie: Yeah!
Monty: What? Double T's!
JJ: **** you!
Monty: That's it. You're ejected!

Knicks @ Magic Preview... In One Picture

2009-03-20T10:51:00.005-04:00

The Knicks don't face off against the Magic until tomorrow night. But here is a preview of the matchup... Thanks to the genius that was Kids in the Hall.

Dwight Howard: "I crush your head."

David Lee: "Noooooooo."

Seriously, check back later for a real preview.

Sometimes things turn out great

2009-03-20T10:40:00.014-04:00

So I friend of mine invited me to this art exhibit downtown on S Orange Ave at the Roho Art & Coffee @ CityArts Factory. I was like, girl, you know a ghost can't go to an art festival. I mean these artist types are just going to criticize my shading, lack of color or lack of inspiration. But I agreed to go and float out (us ghosts can't hang out, we just float around you know). Here I'm thinking, well I like art, but I don't like all the artsy types. What will happen? Can't I just stay outside or support you via text message? Of course not. So I showed up to give her some support. While there mingling with some of Orlando's high society and actually enjoying some of the work being shown I found a room with sports art. This got me excited and I made my way into this room. I see a bunch of cameras, video and photo, and even some professional photographers in this room. So I think, there must be something cool going on in here, or they are just trying to take pictures of this ghost floating around the room.

Well it wasn't me. Nick Anderson was in the room, hanging out with people, talking to some, taking pictures and then he went on stage. He gave a brief speech about the team. The normal PR stuff, you know, we do a lot for the community, the new arena is coming along fine, kids, Stuff, Dwight, and renew your season tickets. The artist in this room had created a limited edition Nick Anderson (the Michael Jordan steal) painting and Nick was there to sign these pieces and put them up for sale with part of it going to some charity.

Nick was really cool with everyone, joking around, posing for pictures, talking to everyone that approached him. Overall a good experience. Oh yeah Nick's son was there too. Another cool kid.

Things that I noticed about Nick. He is getting old, some grey hair is showing. He is not as tall as I thought. I mean I guess when I was 12 years old, a man that was 6'-6" or so was a giant. Not so much anymore. Oh and he has small, well let's say normal feet. I mean no Shaq size 20000 shoes.

Here's some pictures of the art being displayed. Everything was for sale. The Steal piece was $750, including frame and certificate of authenticity.

Enjoy

Nick Anderson posing with some dude.

Huge Hedo painting, shown in three shooting postions. The lady is covering one of them. Apparently this one was already sold to Hedo himself.

Dwight Howard. Both signed. I like the one of the winning dunk vs San Antonio. Cool Stuff

Michael Jordan in famous Dunk action. Larry Bird and all the Championship banners in the back.

I think the Jordan piece was $395, the Bird was $695.

Si no ganan hoy el mundo se acaba

2009-03-18T16:32:00.002-04:00

El mundo del fanatico en la red. La internet nos da muchas cosas beneficiosas. Informacion, noticias, entretenimiento, y tambien estan esos sitios donde encontrar compañia adulta esos viernes por la noche, despues de una semana larga de trabajo, y sin tener energias para salir o para los que simplemente no tenemos, digo, tienen amigos con quien salir.

Los Magic perdieron contra los Lebroniers. Esta bien, fue un juego cerrado y si quitamos los pititos esos al final del juego por los refs, fue un muy buen partido peleado hasta el final. Pero que pasa, que en todos los foros y blogs esta mañana estan los fanaticos vueltos locos como si el mundo se hubiera acabado. Desde fans pidiendo el banco para Rashard Lewis a otros que quieren colgar a Stan Van Gundy por no usar a Dwight mas en el juego.

Mi gente, tomenlo con calma. El deporte es entretenimiento. Yo entiendo que como fans de un deporte, somos bien apacionados y celosos pero no queremos morir de un ataque del corazon. No es el fin del mundo. Los Magic han mejorado un mundo comparando con la temporada pasada. Hubiera sido muy bueno ganar el juego, pero simplemente no se pudo. Ahora es tiempo de seguir adelante y terminar la temporada lo mejor que se pueda. Hasta los Bulls de los 90 tuvieron que perder algunos jueguitos, asi que no se me desesperen.

Respiren profundo.

Ya te sientes mejor?

Entiendes que es solo entretenimiento?
ok, pues, es que no te queremos perder...
Disfruta el juego de hoy.

If they Don't win the World has ended

The cyber fan world that is. The internet gives us many good things. You can find information on just about anything, news, entertainment, and even some adult company for those lonely fridays after a long work week, where you don't have energy to go out and do anything or if you simply don't have any friends.

The Magic lost last night to the Lebroniers. That's ok, it was a close game, and if we take out the few miscalls by the refs in the end, it was well played. But what happened this morning, all the forums and blogs are full of fans that are about to blow their heads off. From benching Rashard Lewis to hanging Stan Van Gundy for not giving Dwight more touches.

People, take it easy. Sport is entertainment. Sure we are fans and sometimes passionate about our sport, but you don't want to have a heart attack for a loss. Its not the end of the world. The Magic have improved a lot since last season. We are young and will continue to get better. It would have been great to win the game, but its over. You can't change it. Even the Bulls in the 90's had to lose some games, so come on, it'll be all ok.

Take a deep breath.

Are you feeling better?

Do you understand that this is just entertainment?
OK, Good, we just don't want to lose you....
Now enjoy tonight's game.

The Amount of Time It Took You to Read This Title...

2009-03-18T11:22:00.004-04:00

...was greater than the amount of time Dwight Howard spent in the lane last night during a crucial play near the end of the Magic's loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Howard was whistled for a three-second violation that negated the Magic’s possession and gave the ball back to Cleveland with 30 seconds left and a two point lead.

Magic Coach Stan Van Gundy was beside himself in reaction to the call. Three-second violations are not uncommon, in general, but they are rarely called late in a close game.

“You won't see that call again. That, I guarantee you," Van Gundy said. "You will not see, with the game on the line, a 3-second call in the last 10 seconds. That's part of the reason they're 30-1 at home. They're a very good team, and when you get calls like that [expletive], you're in pretty good shape."

What made it worse is the fact that Howard was on his way out of the lane when the ref blew the whistle. So, Howard was policing himself, going by the rules, and exited the lane in the time allotted. But the ref jumped the whistle. Howard implied that their may have been some home cooking involved.

"I was very surprised," Howard said. "I was in the lane and I got out. It seemed like their bench or their coaching staff got into the ref's ear about me being in the lane. Instead of letting the refs make the call, I guess the bench made the call."

I had the game recorded on my DVR and reviewed that play over and over with my stop watch from the moment that Howard entered the lane until the moment that I could hear referee Jack Nies blow his whistle. By my measurement, the whistle was blown well before 3 seconds, in fact, it was barely past two seconds. This makes me think that the ref had been watching Howard the whole game and maybe after enough complaining from the Cavs bench, he made a conscious decision to blow his whistle right then.

The problem I have with this goes beyond the idea of “make up” calls or even placing an emphasis on when during the course of a game it is acceptable to make or not make certain calls. The idea that rules already being enforced by subjective individuals are themselves subjective is extremely consternating. But in this case, the problem is that the call was incorrect! Howard was not in the lane for three seconds. Had he clearly been in the lane for over three seconds and the ref blew the whistle, we would still be talking about the call not being appropriate at that time. But at least we would have to admit that it was the right call. But this isn’t the case. Howard was not in the lane for three seconds…not even close.

I won’t go so far as to say that this call cost us the game. Most folks in the Magic blogosphere prefer to place the focus on Rashard Lewis and his recent slump. I agree that this is a bigger issue than one call. However, it is clear to me that when two elite teams are this evenly matched, it only takes one bad call to make a difference in which team wins and which team loses.

Paging Rashard Lewis

2009-03-18T08:58:00.006-04:00

Last night Orlando dropped a close one at Cleveland 97-93 thanks to a late Lebron 3 and 3 second call on Dwight Howard. The most disappointing aspect of last night's loss has to be the poor effort put in by big money man Rashard Lewis. Let's take a quick look at his last few games.

In last night's loss Rashard went 3 for 15 from the field and 0 for 8 from 3 point land. That's 6 points. He also pulled in a whopping 4 rebounds and 2 assists. Whoopy.
On Sunday, in a win against the Utah Jazz Mr. Lewis went 2 for 9 from the field and 0 for 6 from beyond the arch for a wonderful 5 points. However, he did manage to grab 6 rebounds and provide 4 assists. Horay.
In what is the statistical outlier, last week against the Wizards he posted 19 points on 6 of 13 shooting. Lewis went 3 of 9 from the 3 point line and added 6 rebounds and 2 assists. Blah.
And finally, against the Bulls Rashard contributed a whopping 3 points on 0 for 9 shooting... 3 of those missed shots coming from 3 point land. However, he did pull in 5 rebounds and 2 assists. Whicked.

So, let's do some math. 6 points. 5 points. 19 points. 3 points. Carry the two... That's 33 points the last 4 games. An average of 8.2 points. He has made 11 of 46 from the field and 3 of 26 from 3 point land. Barf.

As I'm sure all Magic fans know, Rashard is currently working under a lovely little 6 year, $118 million dollar contract. That's an average of just a shade under $20 million a year. That's $243,000 a game. And if you take the last four games you get an impressive $30,000 per point. Not good.

Magic at Cavs Preview

2009-03-17T13:53:00.006-04:00

As we all know by now our very own Magic clash with the Cavs tonight in a game that is absolutely vital if the Magic have any chance of catching the Cavs for the 1 seed in the East.

Let's preview this clash of the titans.

Stan tells BS of the OS that of course this game is important for seeding.

AOL's Fanhouse has an extensive preview which states lots of neat things like the Magic's weakness at 2 guard but touting Delonte West as what makes that baby prrr.

Dwight Howard says the MVP is of no concern to him and his main goal is to win games. Tonight would be a fantastic start if you ask me.

In the USA Today preview Lebron says he is all team first and says he looks forward to tonight's challenge.

John Denton of Florida Today says Rashard Lewis is the player to watch for the Magic and its time for him to step up. Could not agree more John.

According to the Associated Press this is the Magic's best chance to prove they are title contenders. Thanks AP!
Stan Van Gundy compares defending Lebron to which death penalty punishment you would want from the Magic's official website.

To the right the Cleveland Plain-Dealer provides us with a picture of Dwight tickling Lebron on his way to the rim.

Well here is to hoping that the Magic hand Cleveland their 2nd home loss at the Q tonight. Enjoy the game everyone!

Marko Jaric and Adriana Lima... Really?

2009-03-17T08:36:00.004-04:00

Last week Grizzly guard Marko Jaric was accused of sexual assault while his team was in Philadelphia to play the 76ers. Although, after an investigation no charges were filed, this sparked a discussion by some folks here at TPASTBM. The question: Why, considering who Marko Jaric is married to, would he put himself into a situation where someone might consider accusing him of sexual assault?

“Given the lady he has at home, he should never, ever, ever be in a situation that might allow some lady to make accusations.”

“On the road... away from home... with his teammates... regardless of whom he has at home, you know he is going out with the boys. Deep down, in the same circumstances, you know you would do the same.”

“If I had his wife I would retire to an island in the middle of nowhere... And never be seen again.”

“Hah, but that is you, and your current circumstances... Now, imagine if you will, being a professional athlete and making a ton of money for playing a game. Imagine the way people have treated you all your life, boosting your ego, hanging on, wanting theirs, imagine the women that have thrown themselves at you time and time again to get a slice of your pie (and giving up a slice of their, uhm, pie). Imagine how different the world would look to you. Imagine how different your views would be. Now, throw it all out the window and forget about it completely. Without living that, I don't honestly think any of us can begin to understand these things.”

“There's a reason that Jaric (and just about every other star with money) is married to a Brazilian supermodel. He has ridiculously hot girls throwing themselves at him on practically a nightly basis. I would like to think that I could be faithful under those circumstances but truth be told I don't know how I would react. I think if you guys were truly honest with yourselves you would come to the same conclusion.”

“I believe that your inability to actually consider the situation from his point of view in this matter pushes you to this position. You are placing yourself into a situation that, quite frankly, you would never find yourself in, and trying to imagine what you would do based on who you are as a person. I submit, that you cannot put yourself in his situation, without disregarding who you are as a person, and considering who he is, or who you would be, had you gone through life in similar circumstances.”

“I don't care about being a pro athlete and ****....He is not Dwight, Kobe or Lebron...He is Marco Jaric the luckiest man in the NBA, at least when it comes to wives....He is not a great player, he is OK. He doesn't have the millions and millions that others have, and with those lifestyles, you need a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if she has more money than him.”

“Sure if YOU have that at home YOU love her and stay away from trouble. But... that's YOU and you are who you are because of your life experiences. I would say that your life experiences are vastly different from his, and it is impossible to distill this down into something as simple as you guys try to make it out to be. If you are LUCKY enough to have that... Is it luck in his case? I would say that it is not. I would say that he has had more than his fair share of ridiculously attractive women throw themselves at him. At the same time, you are also leaving out the fact that she, most likely, has an equally disgusting amount of men trying to get into her pants. Just how many guys has she slept with to get where she is? Completely sexist, I know, but also a very high probability of being spot on.”

“Jaric has an insane contract. He is doing quite well for himself. You don't have to convince me that she is insanely hot (but I do appreciate the friendly reminder). If I was married to her I would never leave the house. It’s not the same circumstances though with him. We can't even begin to imagine what it’s like to resist the temptations that he goes through on a nightly basis. Here's a question for you married guys. If this girl approached you on the road and started hitting on you....what would your reaction be? Would you be able to resist her? Now multiply that by a 100 on a nightly basis and tell me you could do it.”

“Ok, so I guess if I'm Marko Jaric then I do put myself in the same situation. What's your point? Going by what you said there isn't room for any discussion.”

“I guess I'm in the minority of general male thinking. If I got married, I did it for a reason, despite what might be thrown my way. If I wanted to be single and sleep with chicks every night on the road, or even entertain the idea, then I wouldn't have gotten married to begin with. To think like an NBA player like you've mentioned, I would think about the financial ramifications of my actions as well. Simple as that.”

“No, you aren't in the minority. I actually feel the same way. I have been married. I have been in a situation where someone was throwing themselves at me, but I still turned it down. I had a co-worker, who was several years younger than I was, was a couple degrees more attractive than my wife at the time, and wanted nothing more than to fool around at and after work a few times. What I am saying is that your value structure, what marriage means to you would be significantly different if you were in his shoes, if you had grown up in similar circumstances. Look at Hollywood as an example. The divorce rate is ridiculous. Marriage isn't sacred, it's a tool, it's a step to get people somewhere. It can be a great career move, a stepping stone to another level. I'm not saying everyone is like this, there are some lengthy marriages between people in this realm, but I think those are by far the one offs, not the norms. Ever look at some of those people and just think that they are completely out of touch with reality? Guess what? They are! They are completely out of touch with OUR reality. Just as we are out of touch with theirs.”

Music Monday

2009-03-16T09:29:00.004-04:00

In honor of last night's victory over the Utah Jazz, let's go with perhaps the best hip hop group of all time... A Tribe Called Quest. Here it is, Jazz(We've Got) & Buggin' Out.

We got the jazz
Stern firm and young with a laid-back tongue
The aim is to succeed and achieve at 21
Just like Ringling Brothers, I'll daze and astound
Captivate the mass, cause the prose is profound
Do it for the strong, we do it for the meek
Boom it in your boom it in your boom it in your Jeep
Or your Honda or your Beemer or your Legend or your Benz
The rave of the town to your foes and your friends
So push it, along, trails, we blaze
Don't deserve the gong, don't deserve the praise
The tranquility will make ya unball your fist
For we put hip-hop on a brand new twist
A brand new twist with the homie-alistic
So low-key that ya probably missed it
And yet it's so loud that it stands in the crowd
When the guy takes the beat, they bowed
So raise up squire, address your attire
We have no time to wallow in the mire
If you're on a foreign path, then let me do the lead
Join in the essence of the cool-out breed
Then cool out to the music cuz it makes ya feel serene
Like the birds and the bees and all those groovy things
Like getting stomach aches when ya gotta go to work
Or staring into space when you're feeling berserk
I don't really mind if it's over your head
Cuz the job of resurrectors is to wake up the dead
So pay attention, it's not hard to decipher
And after the horns, you can check out the Phifer
Chorus

Competition, dem Phifer come sideway
But competition, dey mus' me come straightway
Competition, dem Phifer come sideway
But competition, dey mus' come straightway
Hows about that, it seems like it's my turn again
All through the years my mike has been my best friend
I know some brothers wonder, can Phifer really kick it?
Some even wanna dis me, but why sweat it?
I'm all into my music cuz it's how I make papes
Tryin' to make hits, like Kid Capri makes tapes
Me sweat another? I do my own thing
Strictly hardcore tracks, not a new jack swing
I grew up as a Christian so to Jah I give thanks
Collect my banks, listen to Shabba Ranks
I sing, and chat, I do all of that
It's 1991 and I refuse to come wack
I take off my hat to other crews that intend to rock
But the Low End Theory's here, it's time to wreck shop
I got Tip and Shah, so whom shall I fear
Stop look and listen, but please don't stare
So jet to the store, and buy the LP
On Jive/RCA, cassettes and CD's
Produced and arranged by the four-man crew
And oh shit, Skiff Anselm, he gets props too
Make sure you have a system with some phat house speakers
So the new shit can rock, from Mars to Massapequa
Cuz where I come from quality is job one
And everybody up on Linden know we get the job done
So peace to that crew, and peace to this crew
Bring on the tour, we'll see you at a theater nearest you

Hey yo but wait, back it up, hup, easy back it up
Please let the Abstract embellish on the cut
Back and forth just like a Cameo song
If you dig this joint then please come dance along
To the music cuz it's done just for the rhyme
Now I gotta scat and get mine, underline
The jazz, the what? The jazz can move that ass
Cuz the Tribe originates that feelin' of pizzazz
It's the universal sound, best to brothers underground
In the one-six below, ya didn't have to go
Some say that I'm a sinner cuz I once had an orgy
And sometimes for breakfast I eat grits and porgies
If this is a stinker, then call me a stink, I ask
"What? What? What?" - now check it out
All my peoples in Queens ya don't stop
Now all my peoples in Brooklyn ya don't stop
And all my peoples uptown ya don't stop
That includes the Bronx a' Harlem ya don't stop
Now to that girl Ramelle ya don't stop
I say because Ladies First ya don't stop
And to the JB's, ya don't stop
And De La Soul, ya don't stop
To my Brand Nubians ya don't stop
And to my Leaders of the New ya don't stop
To my man Large Professor ya don't stop
Pete Rock for the beat ya don't stop
Everybody in the place ya don't stop
Ya keep it on, to the rhythm, ya don't stop
And last but not least on the sure shot
It's the Zulu nation

That's right. We got the Jazz.

Thanks to elyrics for the kickin' rhymes.

Happy Monday!

2009-03-16T08:23:00.003-04:00

Orlando had a pretty good weekend, picking up a win on the road against the Wizards on Friday night and putting it to the tired Utah Jazz last night. Here's some highlights:

And let's see what the internet has to say.

ESPN recap
Box score
Orlando Sentinel story
CBS Sports story
Dwight needs to watch his technical foul count, and Jerry Sloan didn't make it too long last night
David Whitely asks us to thank Billy Donovan for changing his mind.
ESPN's Outside the Lines discussed children out of wedlock which included an interview with Royce Reed, the mother of Dwight Howard's child.

You are who you are

2009-03-14T16:27:00.005-04:00

I realized over the course of my trip to and from the Magic's victory over the Wizards that there are two things in this world that I have nothing but scorn for, and both of those things I'd never really considered: Tony Battie and the DC Metrorail.

The enmity for the Metrorail is pretty straight forward. It's inefficient, slow, they never have enough trains running, the maps of the larger individual stations make no goddamn sense, it's loud, it smells, there are no bathrooms anywhere, and they never seem to plan for major events, such as having extra trains running through the Chinatown station(the station directly beneath the Verizon Center) during and after concerts and games at the Verizon Center. This isn't exactly rocket science. But there I was sitting on a platform at L'Enfant Plaza, the biggest station on the Metro, for 27 goddamn minutes waiting for the next Orange line train. I'm convinced there was only one Orange line train running all night.

The other thing is equally obvious, but deserves some explanation. We at TPASTBM clearly love the Magic. We wouldn't update this site, or have even created it, if we didn't. But there will always be exceptions. None of us ever had much love for Brian Cook, for instance. But it's very possible I'm alone amongst our crew in hating Battie. But the truth must be told.

Tony Battie came into the game last night and was, for reasons that mystify me, tasked with guarding Antawn Jamison, who was already heating up offensively. I have several problems with this:

First, Tony Battie isn't quick enough to guard Jamison. He just isn't. It's like asking a penguin to fly. Total physical limitations will always beat out desire, and it's not like Battie ever seems overwhelmed with desire(more on that later).

Second, the story on Jamison has always been "Scores 20, gives up 25". By putting Battie in the game at the 4, and subsequently putting him in the position to be guarded by Jamison, we conceded the first half of that commonality, while completely abandoning the second. Why the hell would we do that?

Third, and most importantly, I can't remember a scenario where I've ever seen someone play so lazy and so irresponsible as a big defending the pick and roll than the way Tony Battie does. I say "does" rather than "did", because during my near half hour break between subway trains at L'Enfant last night, I remembered that I had a conversation 2 years ago about how Darko Milicic should be getting Tony's minutes during the 2007 playoffs, since Hamilton and Billups were killing him on the pick and roll due to his blatant refusal to make a show of any kind on the defense. I kept imagining him having the following conversation with his guards for the entire series:

Guard: "Tony, you have to show on the pick and roll. I can't run straight through a man twice my size,"

Tony: "I have to stay on my man. McDyess can go off for 40 any given night."

Guard: "Antonio McDyess hasn't been a threat to score 40 since the Clinton administration! Do your job!"

Tony: "Hey man, don't talk to me like that. I'm blue collar."

Guard: "No, you are most certainly not blue collar. You get paid over 5 million dollars a year, and you're not even that good at your job. An auto assembly worker is blue collar, and if they were as mediocre and overpaid as you, THEY'D be fired. You're just lacking in real skill."

All that came back into my mind as I watched Tony Battie blow a pretty basic assignment on 3 consecutive possessions. It's not that difficult. If your man sets a pick for the ball-handler, you have to show against the ball-handler, to give your teammate time to recover. And yet, there was Tony, not even LOOKING at Nick Young on 3 consecutive possessions, giving Young a straight shot to the basket, resulting in an assortment of fouls and a dunk that energized the home crowd. But at least Oleksiy Pecherov was never a threat to score.

And that doesn't even speak to his contributions on offense(minimal), his passing(non-existent), his shooting(ugly and inconsistent), or his general lack of interest in putting up meaningful numbers. Unless a rebound bounces into his hand, he won't get it. Unless the ball comes directly to him, he won't get it in the offense(and if it hits his hands, it's 90% positive he's shooting it, his lack of shooting touch be damned). He is more and more rivaling the worst of the worst on the team for sole possession of the "Worst team defender" on the team, which is one of those awards you try to avoid. I know, sometimes I get confused too.

And he's going to make 6.2m next season, which is more than Nelson, Pietrus, and Alston. Or if you prefer: Tony Battie will make more money next season than JJ, Lee, and Johnson combined. I think I need to go lie down.

Question of the day: Why is it that no one slashes into the paint when Dwight is double teamed? Those are gimme assists that we simply avoid.

Tell em Pat

2009-03-13T09:26:00.005-04:00

Dwight Howard has been getting into foul trouble lately. Said Pat Ewing:

"They need to let him play. They let them beat the heck out of him on one end and then he gets ticky-tack fouls on the other end. It's not right, it's unfair."

Let's hope that starts this evening when Orlando will be facing off against the Wizards in DC.

Hollinger Chat

2009-03-12T15:34:00.008-04:00

After last night's playoff clinching blowout, today has been rather slow. That said, here is what John Hollinger over at ESPN has to say concerning the Magic...

Charles (SD, CA): John, Your computer rankings notwithstanding, how would you rank the top 5 teams on a personal level?

John Hollinger: (3:11 PM ET ) 1. Cleveland 2. LA 3. Boston 4. Utah 5. San Antonio. That's how I'd size up the "if everyone's healthy and rarin' to go" rankings, with Orlando penalized for Jameer Nelson's absence.

Nathan (San Antonio): Professor Hollinger- Do you predict that Boston will slip to the 3 seed and Orlando will beat them in the second round with home court advantage?

John Hollinger: (3:21 PM ET ) I think even with homecourt the Magic won't beat Boston, unless Garnett's injury is much worse than we've heard so far.

Andy (vegas): If the Pistons get in as a 5-8 seed, can you see them scaring a team in the first round? You KNOW Orlando wants nothing to do with them....

John Hollinger: (3:25 PM ET ) The Orlando match-up appears to be a good one for them, yes; Atlanta less so, as the Hawks have played Detroit very well this year. I want to see one of them down the stretch before I weigh in on their chances though.

John (Orlando): How about D12's backup, Marcin "Polish Hammer" Gortat? 13 points and 15 boards last night?!?

John Hollinger: (3:30 PM ET ) Gortat is the best big man nobody's ever heard of and may make himself some decent money this summer as a free agent.

Nate (Portland, OR): I hope you're right about Utah and New Orleans grabbing the 3 and 6 seeds respectively if only to add more fire into the Williams vs Paul debate! You see any other juicy first round match-up possibilities? Heat/Hawks comes to mind...

John Hollinger: (3:45 PM ET ) I think Hawks-Heat would be good, but Heat-Magic -- with the Stan vs. Miami undercurrent -- would be so much juicier. Also, Hawks tend to bottle up D-Wade and force the other guys to beat them, which is why they've had a lot of success vs. Miami this year.

"Marcin Gortat is putting on a clinic out there!"

2009-03-12T08:51:00.003-04:00

The Polish Hammer felt he was the reason the Magic fell in Detroit on Monday night. As Kyle Hightower of the Orlando Sentinel quoted, Marcin was determined to make up for it.

I spent the past two days waiting for another chance... I want to have a big night tonight. Like maybe 20 rebounds.

And Gortat came out to play, posting a career high 15 rebounds along with 13 points in a blowout against the rather horrible looking Bulls. Following the impressive game against Chicago he certainly felt better.

I would trade this game tonight with the Detroit Pistons. I think it would be a more satyisfying win against Detroit, but I'm happy that I came back and I could help the team win tonight.

...I think I just came into the game better. The guys hit me pretty well, [but] after you hit the first score, later everything is real easy.

Is there anyone who doesn't think that resigning the Polish Hammer this offseason shouldn't be a priority?

Battle of the Mascots Part IV

2009-03-11T16:18:00.012-04:00

Monday, 11/03/2008: Benny and Stuff square off as their respective teams collide inside the Amway Arena. Stuff gets the best of Benny, as the two goliaths destroy half the city of Orlando. Fortunately enough, the NBA Cares program repaired the damage before the game was over and anybody even noticed. Magic win in a tight one 96-93.

Wednesday, 12/31/2008: The two meet again. Benny falls victim once again to Stuff's fury of destruction. He is sent to the hospital after taking a kick right to the horns. The Magic show no mercy either, as they cream the Bulls 113-94 in the United Center. The New Year doesn't start right for the once mighty Bull mascot.

Tuesday, 2/24/2009: Benny defends his turf this time around. Benny defeats Stuff by running over his foot with a tricycle. Stuff can't recover his balance, knocks over a childs snow cone, and admits defeat. As Benny celebrates, Stuff swears the two will meet again (pictured above in the only known photograph salvaged). The Magic aren't lucky either, as they are blown out in embarrassing fashion, 102-120.

Wednesday, 03/11/2009: In what will be the last meeting in the regular season between the two, Benny and the Bulls look to even the score, as they come to the Amway Arena and take on Stuff and his Magic Men. It should be an epic battle, though the Magic may or may not be with one of their key players, F Hedo Turkoglu.

Some notes for the game tonight:

The Magic are coming off a heartbreaking loss against the Detroit Pistons. Fortunately for the, the Bulls are also coming off a heartbreaking loss, where Dwyane Wade made a running 3pt shot to win in Double OT.
It's mandatory we mention this picture every time the Bulls play the Magic.
The Magic can clinch a playoff berth tonight with a win.
The Bulls made a minor move today, signing free agent forward Linton Johnson. Johnson will be available for tonight's game against the Magic, and looks to fill the depth at the forward spot, with Luol Deng injured.

We celebrate our 100th post by giving you 100 Magic moments and memories!

2009-03-11T11:55:00.021-04:00

In case you haven’t heard, the Orlando Magic have been in the NBA for 20 years. TPASTBM has a way to go before we hit 20 years, but none the less we have a little milestone of our own. Ya see, in what was the brainchild of a group of crazy Magic fans with a little bit of time here and there, we have hit our 100th post. Not too bad for only being around a few months, right? Right? Over these previous 99 posts we have cried over Jameer’s injury, reveled in the Rafer trade, lost respect for Shaq, and even given away free tickets to a game. That said, in honor of our 100th post, here are 100 things about our team that we, well, think are magical…

1. Never knowing if Tree Rollins' body was going to turn to dust as he ran up the court.
2. Calling Pat Garrity "The Assassin", because whenever he shot the ball more than 5 times in a game, he'd murder the Magic's chance of winning.
3. Nick Anderson goes off for 50 points in a game and it gets completely overshadowed by this other thing that happened that night.
4. The illustrious tradition Greg Kite started of the Magic signing as many aging, white stiffs at the 4 and 5 as was humanly possible.
5. Dwight Howard's inability to grow non-hilarious facial hair.
6. That goofy clapper thing they passed out during the '95 conference Finals that I still have.
7. Anthony Bowie's triple-double*.
8. Mike Miller = Rookie of the Year?
9. The fact that Rashard Lewis's shot looks worse than Jeryl Sasser's, but actually goes in.
10. Hedo Turkoglu's German pornstar facial hair.
11. Fearing the Warlock
12. 20 years of Puns
13. Getting to wear these bad boys as a kid.
14. Stachetastic
15. The Fat Guy
16. Unity of a message board during one of the most significant moments in Magic history.
17. Trading Brian Cook
18. Good times on the bench
19. Dante & Galante
20. I like this team
21. The newly formed expansion Magic getting their first win against the then World Champion Pistons.
22. Nick Anderson's steal against MJ to beat the Bulls and get the Magic to the NBA Finals.
23. Pat Williams mastery over the ping pong balls during the NBA draft lottery.
24. Hedo's fadeaway shots hitting nothing but net.
25. Darrel Armstrong proving he has the biggest heart in one of the smallest bodies on the court.
26. Knicks GM Isiah Thomas taking Steve Francis off our hands for Penny's expiring contract and Trevor Ariza.
27. The 2004 NBA draft bringing us two All-stars in Dwight Howard and Jameer Nelson.
28. Scott Skiles NBA record 30 Assists night.
29. Bo Outlaw shooting free throws making you want to look away in horror.
30. Watching teams frantic to crowd the paint on Dwight and then scramble to cover three point shooters.
31. Trevor Ariza making Emeka Okafor his girlfriend.
32. A horrendous season bubbling over for Tracy McGrady's Magic as he gets ejected for kicking the ball twice!!
33. How easy it is to get people upset about ACC Legend JJ Redick.
34. Hedorics
35. Dwight's absurd alley-oop dunk against the Celtics.
36. Keyon Dooling vs. Ray Allen
37. The amazing ability of young Penny Hardaway and of course lil penny.
38. Setting the NBA record for 3 pointers as a team.
39. Dennis Scott making it rain from beyond the arc.
40. Stuff and his hijinks.
41. Sitting in front of the TV, begging Ice to shoot it so Skiles could get assist #30.
42. Breathing a sigh of relief when Rony Seikaly got off the plane in Orlando.
43. Eating my first O-Rena Chicken Tender Basket.
44. Making friends with fellow Magic Fans on the Orlando Magic Message Boards.
45. Sweeping the Lakers and the Spurs in the same season.
46. That wonderful, magical time during June of 1995.
47. Dwight Howard signs a contract extension.
48. Hearing that the Magic had signed Tracy McGrady and Grant Hill (hey, it was a good memory at the time!).
49. The night that Joe Wolf couldn’t miss.
50. Shaq takes down the whole basket in Phoenix.
51. Nick scores 50 in three quarters and makes Bernard King look OLD.
52. McGrady’s off the backboard self alley-oop.
53. Shaq and Dennis Scott rapping on the Arsenio Hall show. You can't write comedy that good.
54. Mario Kasun’s porn star posse.
55. Darrell Armstong fixing Doc Rivers’ tie during the games.
56. Two ROYs and three #1 picks
57. Patrick Ewing, Dominique Wilkins, Shawn Kemp, Derek Harper, Mark Price, Rod Strickland…right team, wrong time.
58. Yinka Dare getting in on the team photo, AFTER he was waived!
59. The Skiles to Turner pick and roll.
60. Dwight Howard over Tim Duncan…the play that will never get old.
61. Greg Kite's flattop
62. That there is no photo evidence we could find of Anthony Avent's tenure here
63. That Shaq left Orlando before making Steel.
64. Penny dunking on Ewing.
65. "We want Brooks!" Thompson, that is.
66. The night that Anthony Bowie shut down Michael Jordan, holding him to just 64 points in a Magic win.
67. Nick Anderson learning how to shoot 3s
68. Scott Skiles always looking like he was one cheap shot away from landing in the papers the next day with an article starting with "he always seemed so nice..."
69. Dennis Scott making 11 three pointers in a single game
70. The night Shaq blocked 15 ******* shots.
71. Stay in School Jam
72. The free doughnuts that caused me to gain 10 pounds in a season.
73. Getting my own season tickets.
74. JJ inviting my best friend and I for a siesta.
75. Goggles!
76. 110 Points = Mac Attack!
77. Where else can you find a team mascott that is the result of some heavy drug use. I mean a colorful rainbow dragon for a basketball team? And not the Orlando Dragons, but the Magic. Then name named him Stuff...kinda like Puff The Magic Dragon....you know what I mean.
78. Being excited over the release of "Blue Chips". Hey, I was young, shut up!
79. Orlando rickshaws
80. The leaky, red seated, sticky floor that is the Amway/TD Waterhouse/O'Rena
81. Steele and Guokas
82. Adonal Foyle
83. The Orlando Magic hosting the NBA Summer League
84. Billy Donovan, or the lack thereof
85. Terry Catledge pump faking
86. Watching Rookie Courtney Lee defend a who's who of NBA stars on a nightly basis.
87. Brian Hill breaking clipboards
88. Bobblehead nights
89. Rubber Duckies
90. The fact that a hockey scout ran the team and managed to draft Dwight over Okafor.
91. Reading draft recaps from 2004
92. The black pinstripe uniforms
93. The hilarious fact that Chris Jent is employed as Lebron's personal shooting coach.
94. The Turko Glue Stick
95. Tailgating outside the O-Rena before playoff games
96. The Christmas tree that remains atop the O-Rena year round.
97. Nick Anderson becoming the first Magic draft pick
98. T-Mac scoring 62
99. Magic closing the old Boston Gardens by knocking the Celtics out of the playoffs.
100. The Best Magic Blog ever: The Puns are Starting to Bore Me

All the bloggers of TPASTBM contributed to this post. Thank you for reading, we couldn't have lasted this long without you.

You're In Timeout Mr. Lee

2009-03-09T11:01:00.006-04:00

Has Courtney Lee been put in timeout by Coach Van Gundy? In the past 3 games since exploding in the 4th quarter to help the Magic beat the Sixers, he has taken a combined 11 shots, which is 7 less then what he took in that Sixers game alone! Has SVG told Lee to cut back on trying to score and focus more on the defensive end? He is still the current starter at SG, and is averaging the same amount of minutes. We all know that he struggled mightily in the beginning of the Sixers game, but then went on a scoring tear in which could be arguably his best offensive game as a pro, despite his poor shooting percentage. So what gives?

The team does not struggle offensively without Courtney scoring, however, it doesn't hurt when the rookie gets hot. In games when Lee scores 10 or more, the Magic are a whopping 17-1. You can't argue with those results. While Mickael Pietrus has come back from injury...again, his time on the court has still been sporadic and short. Averaging roughly 20 mpg in the last 3, he has taken 21 shots, 10 more the Courtney.

Tonight the Magic play the Pistons, which Courtney will be given the duty to defend one of the leagues best scorers, Richard Hamilton's face mask. He will have his hands full tonight, but he could be called upon to score more with our main core of scorers constantly given fits by the Pistons defense. Let's just hope SVG gives him the OK, and the recent trend of not shooting the ball hasn't hurt the rookies offensive confidence.

Orlando @ Boston Highlights

2009-03-09T10:00:00.003-04:00

Here are some highlights from yesterday's 86-79 win over the Boston Celtics. Also, check out the Orlando Sentinel's story on the game as well as today's Daily Dime over at ESPN.

Top 8 Gortat YouTube Clips

2009-03-06T10:04:00.008-05:00

As our loyal reader knows, we love Marcin Gortat here at TPASTBM. The Warlock, or Polish Hammer as others call him, has been with the Magic for two years and we all hope he stays longer. That said, here are our favorite YouTube moments featuring Mr. Gortat.

Number 8: A pretty sweet ally from former Magic man Carlos Arroyo. This one gets an extra point considering Pat Garrity was also in the game.

Number 7: Gortat gets down during "Name that TV Tune." It's pretty obvious he isn't too familiar with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Number 6: In his second career start Gortat put up 16 points and 13 boards.

Number 5: During Media Day Marcin has a nice little conversation with TV play by play man David Steele.

Number 4: In his first career start earlier this year Gortat comes up with a huge block.

Number 3: Times are tough, even in the NBA. That said, the Orlando Magic put Gortat to work in the ticket office.

Number 2: We love Gortat, but even our love couldn't prevent us from putting this horrible attempt at a dunk on here.

Number 1: "Droga Do NBA part 1." We're not really sure what this is, but it does include the line, "NBA welcome to, Marcin Gortat."

Message Boards, Blogs, Twitter, Beanbag Chairs, and Journalism

2009-03-05T13:09:00.001-05:00

When Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford brought down the Nixon administration, it was perhaps the pinnacle of American journalism. Two young men given a long enough leash to chase down the story, the truth, and to perfectly display the intentions of our First Amendment. Journalism was viewed as a noble profession full of upstanding Americans looking out for the everyday man. Things have certainly changed.

As everyone likes to say, newspapers are dying. Just last week the Rocky Mountain News, which had been running for well over 100 years, printed their last edition. The Tribune Co., which owns our hometown Orlando Sentinel, has been in trouble for years.

There are two main issues getting in the way for newspapers. First, in a nutshell, is the profit motive. The ownership of newspapers by those who are only concerned with the bottom line and the corporate stock price, well, make decisions accordingly. Providing a valuable public service seems almost secondary.

Second, and this is a problem just as much because of the first reason, is the internet. And when you look at it, when compared to the internet, an actual newspaper has a lot live up to:

Advantages of the internet:

• I can get the scoop on the game and look at the box score instantly. None of this getting up in the morning and walking out to the curb stuff.
• It’s free.
• I am not limited to just what is in today’s edition. My sources are endless. I can read about the Magic at ESPN.com, OrlandoMagic.com, this pretty cool blog called The Puns Are Starting to Bore Me, and plenty of other places.
• Video, audio… All sorts of stuff.
• People can do it while they are at work, and it will still look like they are working.

Advantages of the newspaper:

• The feeling of relaxing with a cup of coffee and unfolding the paper.
• When skimming through a newspaper you can catch stories that you wouldn’t otherwise see.

Not looking too good for the ole’ newspapers, and that was just the Cliff Notes version. For some great journalism on the current state of journalism, check out this Frontline.

So why all this rambling about stuff not having to do with the Orlando Magic? Well, the other day we discussed the media and it deserves to be expanded on. This all started when, as visitors to the Orlando Magic Message Board, we noticed several posts by Orlando Sentinel writer Mike Bianchi. He was posting links to his blog and columns he had written over at OrlandoSentinel.com. Why would Mike be promoting his writing like this?

Now I’ve never sat in on a meeting at the Orlando Sentinel, but I can imagine how one not too long ago went:

Guy in business suit who went to business school: “Alright, folks. Ya see, with this internet thing we are getting killed because people don’t need to pay us anymore to list in the classifieds that they are trying to sell their beanbag chair.”

Mike Bianchi: “I want a beanbag chair.”

Guy in business suit who went to business school: “Now they can put it on Craigslist for free. This sucks. They can also post their resume on Monster.com. Not good too. So we have this website, orlandosentinel.com, and we’re trying to survive this way. What we have decided to do is bow down and try to generate ad revenue by putting up pictures of girls in bikinis, cute babies, and other top notch journalism stuff like that. Ya know… Pulitzer stuff."

Mike Bianchi: “Alright, so what does this have to do with me. I’m a pretty solid writer. I do a good job making noise and stirring the pot. Is it because you want me to take some of these bikini photos?”

Guy in business suit who went to business school: “No, basically what we want you to do is put on one of those sandwich signs and go to the street corner and do whatever you can to get our website a few extra hits. That way we can try to charge an extra dollar for that ad on our site that no one clicks on anyway.”

Mike Bianchi: “Alright, boss, I’ll do it. But I have to say that this isn’t why I wanted to be a writer.”

Guy in business suit who went to business school: “Quite you. I don’t have time for the only staff member here that isn’t trying to extract the most profit from the Casey Anthony situation.”

I could be wrong, but I think that is how it went down. After the meeting Mike signed up at orlandomagiczone.com and posted a few links to his stuff. So the question is, what’s wrong with it? Why not yell as loud as you can for attention?

The problem starts at the illusion of separation between the internet and actual journalism (actual journalism refers to Woodward and Bernstein type stuff). For some reason people still think that there should be writers doing it the old fashioned way, even though the old fashioned way died years ago. The internet, especially message boards, is for playing, while cubicles at the Sentinel's downtown office is where the real work gets done.

Unfortunately, there are many more sources vying for our attention these days, and if you don’t take a proactive approach you will become the Rocky Mountain News. Take for example, this blog. We promote it whenever we can. We email our posts to other sources and hell, I’m going to email this to Mr. Bianchi. And we would like for as many people to read it as possible. One might be able to say that even we are a bit of competition for the sports desk over at the Orlando Sentinel… And 10 years ago no one would be able to read us!

So journalists keep trying. The latest craze is Twitter. Yes, journalists are resorting to 160 character updates on sports, business, and politics. Is there anything wrong with it? No. The only problem is when the need to Twitter, blog, Facebook, and post on message boards replaces doing actual journalism. These tools need only supplement the long nights and countless cups of coffee that is true American journalism. After all, the typical Magic fan can’t go to practice and hear what Stan Van Gundy has to say about this Shaq feud. They can’t ask Otis about Hedo opting out after the season is over. So, given the world is at their fingertips now with this internet craze, if fans don’t get the answers right away they blame the journalists who they see spending too much time Twittering… Thank God I’m not a journalist.

SHAQ ATTAQ

2009-03-05T09:06:00.019-05:00

First, a little bit of background for those who have had their heads in the sand for the last few days.

Here is the ESPN article on the feud, and here is the Orlando Sentinel piece.

Gibberish is defined as unintelligible or nonsensical talk or writing. With that in mind we here at the PUNS would like to react to the latest SHAQ ATTAQ.

Maxwell Effort:

Well yesterday I called him the Big Floptus and that name fits again because these comments flopped just like his big body. Its a sad portrayal of his character to see him lash out like this. He is getting up there in years and could not take the fact that somebody else is coming along would COULD quite possibly be as good. He tries to downplay everything Dwight does saying he invented it. Gosh I did not know Shaq invented the dunk or even participated in the dunk contest. Heck if DWade does not get hurt in 2005 they beat the Pistons in my opinion and its not like Shaq exactly carried or willed his team to victory. He is so quick to take all the glory but yet when things do not go his way pass off all the blame. In the 2006 NBA Finals the refs and Wade carried him and I would say Zo played better than he did providing a great deal of defense and grit. Yet Shaq is there with his huge smile acting like he did the heavy lifting. Now Shaq has been a truly dominant and amazing player to watch but I would argue he is not even the best big man of this era because that would be Tim Duncan.

El Fantasma:

Grumpy Shaq..this is what ESPN called Shaq last night while talking about his idiotic and childish "war" against Stan Van Gundy, Dwight Howard and really, anything or anyone he feels like talking about. I believe they wanted to say Grumpy OLD man, but they where afraid of the fury coming back from the Big Shaqflop. I read in some articles and forums that the guy is just trying to save his legacy, and finish his career on a high note, be relevant. I say, What legacy? This latest run only cements his legacy of a cry baby, a quitter and a sorry sad man. Everywhere he's been, Orlando, Los Angeles, Miami, he's left talking trash about the team and the people that supported him. He just can't shut up. It makes him look like an idiot. Sure he has 4 rings, but all of those accomplishments are in risk of being forgotten because of his classless rants. His legacy is right now, is being a silly old man, trying to hold on to whatever memory of youth and relevance he might have left. I think ESPN finally got something right, well at least half right. Shaq is just a Grumpy (old) man.

Jackie Moon:

The thing that comes to my mind over and over reading Shaq's comments is "the truth hurts". Shaq did not be called out for flopping because it has annoyed him for nearly two decades now that players that can't guard him flop or foul him. So when Dwight started making his free throws down the stretch (something Shaq has never done in his career), he resorted to the only defense left and flopped. Shaq is a big baby who would have no rings if not for Kobe or Wade. Patrick Ewing who Shaq took a shot at for no reason at all, would have won more rings than that if he had a wing player of their calibre on his team instead of John Starks.

OCTB:

Another prima donna who thinks his talent in one area gives him free reign to do or say whatever he pleases about those around him.I mean, hell, I'm a fantastic napper! Maybe the best in the whole world! But you don't see me acting like I own the joint, taking peoples milkshakes outta their hands, or calling people out for staying up all day!

Nickel Steak:

Someone needs to explain to me what the meaning of "frontrunner" is as per the Shaqtionary.

Terry and The Pump Fakes:

So much for bowing out gracefully, Shaq seems to feel the need to repeat his resume any chance he gets even if it means taking shots at a kid who looks up to him in Dwight. The thing is, that is all in the past. His time is over and he can't handle it. Did he not get enough attention over the past 16yrs? Apparently not, so now he takes shots at the people that command attention now.

I couldn't believe my eyes at the game Tuesday when I saw him flop. A 300+lb man acting like getting bumped by someone who gives up 50lbs to was enough to knock him down. In my opinion flopping is the most heinous action a player can take while trying to play defense. Not only should it be punishable by death, the offending player should burn in Hell for it. There is nothing more cowardly. Shaq (understandably so) complained for years that the only way other players could defend him was to flop. That if the refs didn't allow flopping he would have better games/been more effective/not fouled out. So what does "The Big Hypocrite" do when he is called out for doing the very thing he spoke out about? He has the audacity to try and defend his actions- "Yeah I flopped but flopping is falling and crying and complaining to the ref." "It was a flop but flopping is wrong." It was a flop but flopping is wrong?? So as long as you only do it to players you can't hope to defend and not to every player in the league it's ok?? As long as you don't complain about not getting the call it's ok?? So I guess Vlade and every other center that played against you were really ok right? Well if there is no problem with it I guess you shouldn't have to take shots at your old coach (the 3rd old coach he has taken shots at for those of you counting) for standing up for the guy that didn't fall down even though he was giving up 50lbs and you were using your off hand to shove him out of the lane, right? You shouldn't have to take shots at someone that wasn't even involved in the whole thing by saying that Dwight's moves are the old stale Ewing moves(stale HOF moves).

Shaq will go down in history as one of the best but the gap for me between him and Russell, Hakeem, and Kareem is Grand Canyon wide. Those guys competed every minute, they fought, they worked hard in the offseason. When was the last time Shaq showed up for training camp in shape? What we are seeing now is the real Shaq, a pathetic shell of a person who is nothing without the attention that others heap upon him. The worlds smallest 7ft 300lb man.

Paul Ego:

The Big Shaquego. Open mouth, insert foot. The Shaquego has a HUGE problem with criticism, so much so, that he seems to have a few blank spots in his own memory banks. Calling Stan's coaching career a flop? I think the Big Shaqflopopolis (remember this nickname later kids) needs to open up Webster's and look up flop for old times sake. I have a few different version here in my office (what can I say, I'm a collector), one has a picture of Steel, another had a picture of Kazaam, and the third said something about a rumored rap career? Talk about a flop.I used to think it would be a good move to get a year or two out of Shaq on the bench in Orlando, playing mentor to Dwight, and picking up 15 minutes a game. Now I see that his ego would not let that happen. Personally, I'd rather have Rasheed Wallace here playing that role.In his twilight years, if the Big Shaqflopopolis wants to stay the "center" of attention, play fewer games, not worry about back to backs, and be the focal point of his team, maybe he should move to Greece. He should get enough attention there to feed the big Shaquego plenty.

The Big Train

The key thing in this entire situation is Dwight Howard. It was pretty obvious that he was a bit put off by all the jabs that Shaq has been taking the last few days, and he wasn't really sure how to respond to it. He ended up staying quiet, noting that he respects his elders. Regardless, you could tell he wasn't too happy. Insert Stan as he provides yet another reason why everyone here in Orlando is so happy to have him as our coach. He defended the hell out of his player, and took the heat off of Dwight and placed it square on his shoulders.

Jareth Cutestory

Rather then try to analyze and comprehend what Shaq was saying, or get mad about it like I did when I first read it, I'm simply going to applaud our coach for defending Dwight Howard the best way he knew how. While Stan commented on something we all saw, Shaq decided to take another route, and degrade our beloved coach, his staff, and his players. What did Stan do? He replied that he was honored. And why did he not respond back with a verbal onslaught like Shaq did? Because he knew he had accomplished what he wanted to do. He subtly got under Shaq's skin with a 20 second blip about his flop, and Shaq took the bait hook, line, and sinker. While Shaq made a fool of himself, Van Gundy successfully defended his player, and took Shaq's ego down a few notches while he was at it.

The OCTB's Fat From the Fryer: Magic vs. Suns

2009-03-04T15:24:00.003-05:00

Shaq vs. Dwight: epic battle in the post against the game’s best big man and the game’s biggest, uh, big man. First time in a while that I focused more on an individual matchup vs. the team matchup.
You ever used a medicine ball? After shooting or passing with a weighted medicine ball, a regular ball suddenly seems lighter than air. Dwight Howard must have experienced this concept when Shaq left the game and he suddenly found himself guarded by...wait for it...Louis Amundson.
Still plenty of boos for both Grant Hill and Shaquille O’Neal. Anyone who thinks that these guys shouldn’t be booed just can’t appreciate how a sports fan takes things to heart. And with affairs of the heart, logic is not a factor.
During a timeout, the jumbotron showed Rafer Alston answering the question, “what is your favorite movie.” His answer, “Breakin” and “Breakin II: Electric Boogaloo!”
Tyronn Lue’s new role: world’s ugliest cheerleader.
Robin Lopez = Sideshow Bob
Another technical foul called on Dwight…this is beginning to be a habit and I hate to see it. He is already in double-digit techs for the season and if he keeps this up, he will start to look more and more like Tim Duncan, but not in the “four rings and great glasswork” way.
Shaq actually flopped! Shaq!! Is there another player in the NBA besides Dwight Howard who could have made Shaq even consider flopping? Shaq flopping is as strange a site as seeing me without the Fries On The Side!
The Magic were a mess with the turnovers, they kept pushing too much, rushing their passes, and making dangerous passes. The Suns looked like an NFL secondary.
I was relieved to finally have a team visit the O-Rena who, despite having some serious star power, didn’t have much of a vocal following in the audience like we’ve seen lately with Detroit, Boston, and Cleveland.
Both Dwight Howard and Shaq received technical fouls for arguing fouls drawn by the other. No further proof is needed that the two players were “super”-hyped (see what I did there?) for this matchup.
From the “Jump In the Fryer If You’ve Heard This Before” Department: In the fourth quarter, when Shaq was called for a technical for arguing a foul called on Steve Nash, Rashard Lewis shot the technical free throw. Then Dwight stepped to the line to take his two free throws. After making the first one, the ref gave the ball to Steve Nash and the Suns headed up the court! All the Magic players and the entire audience was alarmed, saying “he gets two shots!” I was pleased to see that the Magic players had the presence of mind to head back up the court on defense while they protested. Obviously the ref made a mistake but it says right here that Steve Nash was pretty sneaky to take advantage of it like he did. There should have been a delay of game warning given. I don’t care if it was the refs fault. Kudos to Howard for hitting both free throws despite the interruption.

After the game, I went to the visiting locker room. I was able to get a quick moment with Grant Hill. Here are two questions and two answers from The Ankle. The first question is one that another media member asked, but I thought it was worth sharing, because it dispells stories of Hill and Shaq coming back as owners. The second question was asked by the OCTB himself.

Question: “Do you see yourself being involved with this team (the Magic) down the line at some point.”
Grant Hill: “Being involved? Nah…I’ll be a fan when I’m done playing. I’ll be involved as a fan.”

Question: “This is your second game back and there was still a negative reaction from the crowd. Did that affect your game?”
Grant Hill: “Nah, nah, I just played bad. I’ve played bad all year at the four position. So...uh, nah, I came out…played a good first quarter but just didn’t get into a good rhythm there. That’s just part of the game.”

Shaq v. D12: The Morning After

2009-03-04T08:25:00.011-05:00

In one of the more entertaining games of the year, the Orlando Magic defeated Shaq and the Phoenix Suns last night, 111-99.

There were some great post game quotes.

"This dude is huge. I just realized that I've got to go home and eat like five chickens to put a lot of weight on." - Marcin Gortat

"I was shocked, seriously, shocked," Magic coach Stan Van Gundy said of O'Neal's flopping. "And very disappointed cause he knows what it's like. Lets stand up and play like men, and I think our guy did that tonight."

Rashard Lewis led the Magic with 29 points and 12 rebounds, while Dwight fended off foul trouble to score 21 points and pull in 9 rebounds. TPASTBM favorite Marcin Gortat filled in for Dwight after picking up his 2, 3, and 4th fouls beautifully, contributing 8 points and 8 rebounds. For the Suns, Jason Richardson scored a team high 27, while Shaq had 19 points and 11 rebounds.

Check out the box score.
The Orlando Sentinel's Mike Bianchi doesn't want Shaq and Dwight to be buddy buddy after these games.
Kyle Hightower asks, "Did Magic Fans forget about Grant Hill?"
Yankees pitchers Joba Chamberlain, CC Sabathia and Chien-Ming Wang were in attendance.
The Orlando Sentinel's take on the game.
John Denton over at Florida Today has his.
The Arizona Republic writes that one Superman leads in scoreboard seniority.

TPASTBM Talks

2009-03-03T11:43:00.005-05:00

Alright people. It's Tuesday, so let's talk. ESPN, the Orlando Sentinel, Drudge Report, Fox News, NPR. Casey Anthony, Mike Bianchi, Brian Schmitz, John Hollinger, T.O., Pacman. Print, TV, Twitter, Facebook, Digg, Internet.

Talk amongst yourself...I'll give you a topic...Local news is neither local, or news. Discuss...

MMMMM Cookie

2009-03-03T11:14:00.005-05:00

Last week was supposed to be the second tier of NBA drafting ability, but someone (Paul Ego) was out of the office sick. Quite frankly, none of you were important enough for me to drag my sorry sick self to the office to continue my cookie draft rankings. I believe our second tier of deliciousness is fresh cookie goodness, cooled off and ready to eat. Yum. Milk anyone?

Lets kick things off and see what pushed these teams up to the second tier, or what held them back from the top...

First up: Golden State

Vaulted to the top of this group by two second round draft picks, the Warriors showed a keen eye for selfish potential by picking Gilbert Arenas (30 overall) and Monta Ellis (40). All they needed was one more decent second round pick to push them into the top tier. Wait, what's this? Marc Jackson has a career PER of 0.0? That can't be right. You can't trust ANYONE these days, what every happened to taking pride in your work? Okay, lets set that career PER to 14.1, where it should be, and re-evaluate Golden State. What do you know, they just jumped up to fourth overall, and pushed Seattle back to sixth. My groupings are based on separation of data, not simple groupings (top 5 etc.), so this doesn't knock Seattle into the second tear.

Two notes of interest. GSW have played like they took a GSW to the chest this season. Mention Monta Ellis in your post, and suggested labels like "scooters, vacation, fall" pop up. Just in case you were wondering why he got hit with selfish player tag.

Next up: The Pacers

The new (by default) number one of the cooled off but still fresh cookies, Indiana has the fewest picks of any team in this tier with 14 overall. This is important, because they have a dearth of stand out picks in the second round. James Jones comes in as their best second round pick, 49 overall, and that's a far cry from picking up players like Arenas or Ellis late in the draft. How then do they find themselves in the second tier? The strength of great mid to late first round picks, that's how. Al Harrington anyone? What about he who can not be named? Yeah, that one hurt, didn't it, Magic fans?

Rounding out the second tier:

I'm grouping the next three teams together, because I hate writing about all three of these teams, for obvious reasons. Boston, Cleveland, and Detroit all made it into the second tier. I refuse to say anything else about these three teams, and guess what? This is my article, and I don't get paid, so I can do whatever I want in this spot! If you came here for some good word on one of these three teams, take a hike!

Join us next week as we talk about the bulk of the league, and every one's favorite team, "Your, Orlandooooooooo Magic"!

Tell us what you really think Shaq

2009-03-03T08:49:00.007-05:00

Asked whether Dwight Howard's Superman mystique is bothering him, Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O'Neal said:

Doesn't bother me. I can't be impressed by something I invented in '92. I mean, you look at what he is doing, I've been there and done that. Every street he is driving down in Orlando, I have been on that street. Every nightclub, every restaurant. ... I have been there and done that. Until he wins three, four championships, then we can talk about him. But right now, he is just like every other big guy: 'You can run and jump, but you haven't won yet.'

Here is the Stats LLC preview...

Who is the real Superman? Dwight vs. Shaq

2009-03-02T12:18:00.008-05:00

Let me start by saying I am biased here, but considering your are reading an Orlando Magic blog this shouldn't come as a surprise. But who really deserves to have the nickname “Superman” over the other? Shaq had it first and tattood it on his arm, but Dwight made it his own by flying in the cape for one of the most memorable dunks in the NBA slam dunk competition.

Sometimes I get the feeling Shaq is having an identity crisis with all the nicknames he has like Big Kahuna, Big Aristotle, Big Cactus, Shaq Diesel and of course Superman (among others). Does he really need all these nicknames? Does he really need a nick name at all? His name itself “Shaq” pretty identifies him to most people on the planet! How many other famous people are there named Shaq? Dwight on the other is more common name used by many people some who are very famous. Physically, Shaq is a rare combination of size, strength, and agility (more so in his younger years) that he sometimes appears to be superhuman but if you had to pin a Superhero label on him. I would go with the Incredible Hulk myself not only are the physical attributes closer, but so are the emotional aspects. Don’t make him angry or will leave town and call your city a “dried up little pond”, not to mention the Kobe bashing after his divorce (or trade) from the Lakers.

Dwight on the other hand is the real “Superman”, not only does he have the same superhuman physical skills as Shaq has but he can fly without his teammates holding him up! Dwight looks like a man of steel to the point he looks like he was molded instead of born. Off the court Dwight nearly always has a smile to go with his well mannered interviews and off the court comedy routines.

I have been a Magic fan since the day the NBA announced my hometown was being awarded a franchise. I have watched both of the future Hall of Fame centers be drafted, fight through their rookie struggles and grow up to be considered among the NBA elite players. Both have given me great joy in watching their domination of the paint, but to me Dwight will always be Superman regardless of how his career goes. It fits like no other nickname does.

As for Shaq, I admit to having hard feelings for him leaving town to join the Hollywood scene. Not to mention leading our in state rivals the Heat to their one and only championship. But I will always have fond memories of the finals team you lead and your leading role in helping establish our expansion team in a way that Charlotte and Vancouver were unable to do. To me you always be Shaq Diesel, an immovable force in the paint who knows how to carry the weight of his team.

Coming this week

2009-03-02T11:28:00.006-05:00

This week Orlando plays three pretty big games as they try to find some consistency. Tuesday the now off and running Phoenix Suns come to town followed by New Jersey on Friday. The week is capped by a visit to Boston on Sunday.

Phoenix Suns @ Orlando Magic: Tuesday, March 3, 7:00 PM. SunSports and NBATV

The Suns enter the game winners of two straight, including a big with against the Lakers on Sunday. The Suns are now 6-2 since Alvin Gentry replaced Terry Porter as coach after the All-Star break.

Prediction: Phoenix will score points, and probably quite a bit of them. On the other hand, Orlando can score points also (You're welcome for the crack TPASTBM analysis). Shaq will score 17 but only grab 3 rebounds. However, on the other side Dwight will put up 27 and totally dominate Shaq on the boards with 16. Throw in 3 blocks for Dwight.

The key to this game is Steve Nash, who didn't suit up in the win against the Lakers on Sunday. Right now it is anyones guess if he plays. If he sits, the Magic win. If he plays, the Magic still win. Score: Orlando 115, Phoenix 109

New Jersey Nets @ Orlando Magic: Friday, March 6, 7:00 PM. Fox Sports Florida

The New Jersey Nets are trying to get themselves back into the playoff picture after sitting inside for most of the season. Frankly, (Is that a Lawrence Frank pun?) the Nets have been all over the place this year. Taking a look at their schedule, they have had lost 8 of 9, then won 4 in a row, then lost 5 in a row, and followed that up by winning 2 of 3. So, who knows what we are going to get on Friday.

Prediction: In their only previous meeting this season Orlando came out on top, 101-84. Dwight led the Magic with 30 points and 16 boards while Devin Harris paced the Nets with 28 points and 12 assists. Look for similar numbers again on Friday by both players. However, in the previous matchup Vince Carter did not play, so look for him to add an element of difficulty for an Orlando team that is having a hard time keeping quality scores from getting their share. Score: Orlando 105, New Jersey 102

Orlando Magic @ Boston Celtics: Sunday, March 8, 1:00 PM. Fox Sports Florida HD

Well, it's time to play the Celtics again. The Magic are 0-2 this season against the reigning world champs. The Celtics beat down on Orlando by 19 earlier this year in Boston and took the matchup in Orlando by 10. That said, the Magic are due to play well against these guys. In case you haven't heard, Stephon Marbury plays for them now.

Prediction: Dwight has struggled in scoring against Boston this year, putting up 11 and 15 in the two games. He will struggle again. Rashard and Hedo will pick up some of the slack, but not enough to break Boston's luck against the Magic. Score: Boston 97, Orlando 85

Music Monday

2009-03-02T08:51:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow evening the Magic face off against Shaquille O'Neal, Grant Hill, and the Phoenix Suns. So, that said, it's time for "Separate Ways" by Journey.

Here we stand
Worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two
Sleepless nights
Losing ground
I'm reaching for you, you, you

Feelin' that it's gone
Can change your mind
If we can't go on
To survive the tide love divides

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know i still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

Troubled times
Caught between confusions and pain, pain, pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain, vain, vain

If you must go, i wish you love
You'll never walk alone
Take care my love
Miss you love

(chorus twice)

I still love you girl
I really love you girl
And if he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
No, no

Thanks to Lyrics Freak for the lyrics...

Magic @ Sixers Highlights

2009-03-01T11:16:00.006-05:00

The Magic came back from behind last night for a 106-100 victory against the Philadelphia 76ers. Here are the highlights, including a wide open dunk buy one of our favorites, Marcin Gortat.

Blind leading the blind

2009-02-27T19:41:00.004-05:00

Tonight's Orlando/Detroit game is currently being aired on ESPN. In a nice little 30 second clip towards the end of the 1st quarter announcers Jon Barry and Kevin Calabro were classic.

Said Barry, "Tony Battie has been banged up this year. He has only played in 55 games." Let's see. First, Orlando has played 57 games so far this year. Does missing two out of 57 games count as banged up? Next, the two games that Tony missed were both DNP-CD. He has not missed a single game this year due to injury.

Just seconds before this they congratulated Hedo Turkoglu on his first child being born this morning. Only problem is... She was born yesterday.

Keep it up ESPN.

"Let's keep in touch..."

2009-02-27T09:13:00.007-05:00

This evening the Orlando Magic welcome the Detroit Pistons to town in what is a rather important game for both squads. Detroit is trying to get back to their old winning ways while Orlando is trying to get past a team that has been giving them troubles for years.

A focal point of this game will be Rasheed Wallace, everyone's favorite crybaby. After receiving his league leading 15th and 16th technical fouls against Denver on Wednesday night he should have been suspended for tonight's game. However, the NBA withdrew two techs from a previous game this year, thus lowering his season total to 14 and allowing Sheed to suit up tonight.

Mr. Wallace is a poor sport. He whines, moans and complains at every opportunity. He comes off as what is what is wrong with sports and society today: Me first all the way.

Now backup to yesterdays Orlando Sentinel.

Last week when Orlando traded for PG Rafer Alston the Magic parted ways with Brian Cook, Mike Wilks, and Adonal Foyle. That said, Mr. Foyle purchased some ad space and sent this message to the community.

"Let's keep in touch..."

How pleasant and relieving. Mr. Foyle was here less than two seasons and never made much of an impact on the court. Buried on the bench behind Dwight Howard, Marcin Gortat, and Tony Battie, we never heard him complain. We never saw him act unprofessionally. Towels were never thrown on the court and at Stan Van Gundy. Most of this season Adonal was dressed in a suit with no chance of playing. However, he was always up congratulating and willing on his teammates. He had a clipboard in his hand, either making game notes or breaking down Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Social Contract.

But that was just his basketball side. A few weeks ago we discussed Adonal's presidential abilities. To take from that:

Adonal grew up in the tiny island of Canouan, where he was raised by his grandmother and pet donkey and relied on a kerosene lamp to light up his room while doing homework.

At the age of 15, he was adopted by two college professors and moved to New York. He lived the middle-class American lifestyle throughout college, and after being selected 8th overall by the Warriors in the 97 draft, he entered the life of an NBA player, basically guaranteeing him financial security and a sudden opinion on the Capital Gains Tax.

So there you have it, rags to riches. Nice story. But that is isn't even half of it. Just take a visit to AdonalFoyle.com. He is at the helm of Democracy Matters (Seriously, look at this) and the Kerosene Lamp Foundation (Seriously, look at this one too), two organizations that tackle both political issues and poverty.

No one twisted his arm on this one. He's not doing this to further his career. It's not a publicity stunt. Heck, I'm sure most people don't even know about any of this. As a reader pointed out on our last Adonal post:

You left out how genuinely nice he is. I went to high school with Adonal. He's not just smart, he's educated - and he worked hard to be. Between the end of school and the start of practice he would get extra help from his teachers in all subjects so the he could be a straight A student.

Just a few days before the trade Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wrote a piece about Adonal. Bianchi received a letter from a coach who took a group of kids to see the Magic play in Denver. The letter said:

There were about 20 people (mostly kids) on the bench just as the Magic players took the court. Within the first few minutes, many of the Magic players took the time to wave, say hello and throw a smile toward our group. One player in particular went out of his way to interact with us. As it turns out, this player was Mr. Adonal Foyle.

Mr. Foyle came over and sat on the floor in the middle of our group. He faced us (not the court) and made small talk as he stretched. The kids (ages 4 to 12) were quite scared of Mr. Foyle at first (he is a VERY large man). This is when Mr. Foyle literally laid down on the floor and asked the children if he could be included and play with them. Now that this enormous man was lower than the kids, they warmed up to him quite quickly. Mr. Foyle smiled and spoke to the kids with a very sincere and gentle voice and before we knew it, he was holding the kids on his lap for photos. Mr. Foyle shook hands, high-fived and signed autographs for about 10minutes.

As he started taking practice shots, Mr. Foyle passed the ball back and forth with the kids and then invited them to come on the court and run some line drills with him. All I can think of are the stories that must have gone around at school on the Monday after the game. This is the stuff of dreams; these memories will be cherished by these kids for the rest of their lives!

Mike approached Adonal and asked why he treated the fans the way he did. The answer? "Why not?"

This is the anti-Sheed. I really hope Orlando keeps in touch.

Thanks to TPASTBM contributor El Fantasma de Carlos Arroyo for catching the Adonal ad.

Detroit Pistons at Orlando Magic Game Preview

2009-02-27T07:40:00.007-05:00

It's time for your Orlando Magic to battle their bugaboo, a desperate sliding Detroit Pistons team. Let's get it started.

As we know by now Rasheed Wallace will play tonight but Terry Foster of the Detroit News is calling for the Pistons to cut him.

Chris McCosky of the same Detroit News tell us that maybe it's time to bench Allen Iverson and start Richard Hamilton considering their 4-12 record with Rip on the bench.

Kudos are due to our very own Dwight Howard who received the NBA's Community Assist Award for the month of January.

If you have always hated the space bar yet love Adonal Foyle we learn from the National Post's Outlandish section that he pulled an ad in yesterday's Orlando Sentinel to thank the fans.

Senior V.P. of the Magic Pat Williams swung by the Herd yesterday to discuss his new book and the possibilities of Dwight Howard becoming an all-time great.

NBA.com tells us that Rafer Alston has fit in just fine with his new teammates and that he sometimes misses his AND1 roots.

Detroit has won 7 out of 9 regular season games against Orlando and 8 of their last 9 playoff games but are on an eight game losing streak. Something has to give!!

Turkababy

2009-02-26T16:07:00.007-05:00

The Orlando Sentinel is reporting Hedo and his wife, Banu, welcomed their first child today. According to the report, Ela weighed in at six pounds, one ounce and was 19 inches long. Congratulations Turks!

Top 4 players we're glad aren't wearing a Magic uniform anymore

2009-02-26T14:21:00.013-05:00

20 years. Yeah, that’s right, the Magic have been in the NBA almost long enough to buy a Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade. Over the years all sorts of characters have put on the Blue and White. There were the greats like Nick Anderson, Darrell Armstrong, and Steven Hunter. There were the quality players like Dennis Scott, Tony Battie, and Scott Skiles who contributed for a number of years. But there was also a lot of wasted space. There were some locker room cancers, some laziness, and well, some very interesting characters. So who are we glad is no longer around to fill newspaper headlines or arrest warrants, or paternity suits? Who would we be most cool with had they never worn a Magic jersey? Well, here it is, the top 4 players we're glad aren't wearing a Magic uniform anymore:

Brian Cook

How did they get here: Acquired via trade for Trevor Ariza, he came here along with current Hawks G Maurice Evans from the Lakers. Take a wild guess at which player fans were more happy to be receiving.

What they did wrong: **** near everything. Brian seemed to be a great teammate at first. Then at the start of the 08-09 season, he started to complain about his role. However, that was the problem. He had no role. Brought in to space the floor more for Dwight and to help rebound, Cook never really did that. When given playing time, he would come in and jack up shots the minute the ball touched his hands. This sort of erratic play drove Stan Van Gundy insane. Coach didn't eat or sleep for about 2 weeks, and would pull out his hair after every 3pt shot Brian took [see a picture of Stan during hard times on the right]. Cook, for his size and girth, couldn't rebound to save his life. Originally brought in to supplement the loss of Tony Battie to season ending surgery, many still wonder what GM Otis Smith was thinking when trading for the soft PF. All seemed lost and lopsided with the trade, that is until Cook made his most meaningful contribution to the team. Passing his psychical on the trade that the Magic made to acquire Rafer Alston from the Rockets. F plus.

Where are they now: Brian was traded to the Rockets in exchange for Rafer Alston. With a team full of promising forwards, he looks to be in the same situation he was in with the Magic. Spotty minutes when the team is desperate for 3pt shooting.

Doug Christie

How did they get here: Traded from Sacramento.

What they did wrong: Being an overemotional sulker in the trade that killed 2 careers (Steve-O). Doug was just never interested in playing for Orlando in the 1st place and looked disinterested the day he got here. His wife would reveal that the Kings made him a good-bye video that he would watch over and over until she would finally convince him to go to sleep. Christie's D was already slipping as it was so the desired results of the trade to add perimeter D failed miserably. F minus minus.

Where are they now: Giving his wife a foot massage.

Darko Milicic

How did they get here: Orlando acquired Mr. Milicic from the Detroit Pistons along with fan favorite Carlos Arroyo in return for another Magic legend Kelvin Cato and a first round pick.

What they did wrong: For starters, Darko had the unfortunate burden of being the second pick in the 2003 NBA draft. He was chosen ahead of Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade, David West, Reece Gaines AND Brian Cook. You can’t blame the man for this, but he has never been able to live up to the hype. The guy showed some signs of promise, at times playing some lock down defense and hitting some long J’s. Unfortunately, the good times were more than often erased by multiple Hedo like moments which consisted of a combination of laziness and stupidity. Overall it can be chalked up to what seems like a lack of motivation, which for someone with his talent is unacceptable. As his career evolved we began to get a glance into the reasons why Darko wasn’t ever going to make an All-Star game. There were the pictures like the one posted. We’re no doctors, but it’s probably safe to say the nights of drinking and smoking are not good for someone who gets paid to be a world class athlete. Plus, there was the unforgettable anti referee/sister of referee/mother of referee rant following a game (Warning: Language very, very, very NSFW). That counts double. D minus.

Where are they now: Otis let Darko head over to Memphis for more money. At the time many chastised the GM for letting such a promising player walk. Darko has proved Otis right by continuing to tread the NBA waters… Not quite bad enough to get the ax while not producing the numbers he should.

Anthony Avent [not pictured, trust me, we tried]

How did they get here: Traded from Milwaukee

What they did wrong: Well, Anthony Avent had the worst hands we've ever seen on a basketball player ever. If you replaced your hands with two cinder blocks covered in rubber and grease, you could catch passes better than Avent could. Avent couldn't shoot, pass, defend or rebound, and at no point in his year and a half with Orlando did Avent look interested in doing anything productive. Combine that with his penchant for telling bizarre stories to the press to cover up his ridiculous domestic problems, and you're left with a player who had a clearly negative impact on a team that made the finals. F minus.

Where are they now: Most likely drunk and retired, which is sad, since he made more money being useless for 6 years in the NBA than we'll likely ever even see in our lifetimes. If anyone needs us, we'll be self-immolating.

Quickie

2009-02-26T08:30:00.004-05:00

Here are two interesting tidbits from the Elias Sports Bureau and ESPN:

• Dwight Howard dominated the Knicks with 24 points and 21 rebounds to lead the Magic to a 114-109 win in New York. It was the sixth game this season in which Howard reached 20 in both points and rebounds, matching the total for the rest of the league combined. David Lee, Amare Stoudemire, Troy Murphy, Andrew Bogut, Brad Miller and Al Jefferson have each done that once.

• Rashard Lewis went 1-for-6 from beyond the arc but his 24-foot jump shot with fewer than three minutes remaining in the final period extended his streak of consecutive games with a 3-point field goal to 50. Only four other players have had a streak of at least 50 straight games with a 3-point field goal within one season: Dennis Scott (74 games in 1995-96), Reggie Miller (68, 1996-97), Dana Barros (58, 1994-95) and Tracy McGrady (50, also for Orlando, 2002-03).

So for the 5 players who have hit 3's in 50 straight games during a single season, 3 (Tracy, 3D, and Rashard) have done so while playing for the Magic.

Happy Thursday Magic Fans, as today is the 58th anniversary of the ratification of the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution.

Nate Robinson? Yeah, I dig that guy!

2009-02-25T11:13:00.006-05:00

Rarely does there come a time where I genuinely like opposing teams players. Sure, I love to watch Kobe take over a game, or see Brandon Roy fill up the stat sheet in his young career. However, I don't feel any sort of attachment to those guys while I watch them, the way I do with the Magic players that I've followed for so long. I know Dwight is a goofball on and off the court. I enjoy seeing Turk make a fool out of himself with the Turkey Dance. And I admire Adonal Foyle for his commitment to making this world a better place.

Tonight, the Magic travel to the big apple to take on the New York Knicks. Tonight's game will be anything but a defensive slugfest, as both teams love to shoot the 3, and the Knicks are playing the run & gun style of yesteryears Suns. While I always look forward to watching my Magic play, I have another reason to look forward to tonights game. That reason: Nate Robinson.

Nate is much like our own Dwight Howard. Both are free spirited, and like to have fun while playing the game. Yet, they both have a strong desire to perform at a top notch level. This year has been one of Nates best years statiscally, as he has been given more minutes, and more offensive freedom. But it's his personality that sets him apart from his teammates.

Like Dwight, Nate is beloved by fans and doesn't hesitate to interact with them if given the chance. Just the other night against the Pacers, Nate interacted with a fan that he was actually a fan of, Mr. Will Ferrell. The two shared shake & bake fist bumps together after Nate would score, and Nate even went as far as to give him an autographed jersey after the game. Anybody who fists bumps with Ron Burgandy is OK in my book. But it doesn't stop there. Nate has made it known he is an avid gamer, playing CoD with several fans and gamers alike on X-Box live. Sure, the gamers he played with assumed it wasn't him, but Nate made sure they knew it was. After shooting a free throw, Nate saluted the guys he plays with, proving to them it was him all along.

In a time where players are too serious for their own good, or would rather fight with opposing players then share a laugh, it's refreshing to see a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously and isn't afraid to be himself. It doesn't hurt that he is a hell of a dunker too.

Some other notes for tonights game:

The Magic lost to the Knicks in their last meeting, 90-100.
Recently acquired Knicks F Chris Wilcox was a name mentioned frequently on Magic forums as being the PF the Magic need to put next to Dwight.
Assistant Magic coach Patrick Ewing, well, you know. He was pretty good for the Knicks.
The Magic are coming off a loss where they gave up the most points they have all season, 120.
The Knicks finally reached an agreement with Stephon Marbury to waive him yesterday, thus allowing him to sign with another NBA team.

Bear wrestling? 2009 NBA Free Agents likely to face a bear market this summer.

2009-02-25T08:48:00.007-05:00

This economy stinks…. There really is no other way to put it, virtually all industries have been hit hard by it along with families. Professional sports has been relatively safe from prior recessions because in hard times people still want their sports teams, even more so then as a distraction from the hard reality of a bad economy. But this has been no ordinary recession and most economists are openly using the “D” word now to describe it. Professional sports is rapidly beginning to feel the impact as attendance goes down along with spending on merchandise and concessions. The Arena Football League simply called off its season rather than fight through the tough times.

The NBA will survive unlike the Arena League, but owners are getting a rude awakening after seeing the stock market nearly cut in half the corporate values that allowed them to buy an NBA team in the first place. In fact most NBA teams spent the weeks before the trade deadline looking for deals to cut payrolls instead of shopping for players to improve their teams. The Magic were one of the few exceptions in trading for Rafer Alston. This off season may see an even worse blood letting on team payrolls when ticket renewals plummet and for the first time since it was instituted, the salary cap and corresponding luxury tax are likely to be lowered. Virtually every team counted on the cap continuing to increase and word from league bean counters that this number will likely go down was a rude awaking to many team owners during All-Star weekend.

A word of advice to NBA players: don’t be a free agent this summer if you can avoid it. You may find that very few teams are spending money and the ones who have budget room will be likely saving it for 2010 when Lebron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade hit the market. Looking overseas may not help you much either as this is a global meltdown to the point that actual countries are going bankrupt. So how does all of this depressing news affect our favorite team here at TPASTBM?

The Magic will have two key contributors that are eligible for free agency this summer. Young center Marcin Gortat aka “The Warlock” or “Polish Hammer” whose rookie deal is expiring and will become a restricted free agent. The other is a member of what Otis calls his “core” in Hedo Turkoglu who can choose to opt out of the last year of his deal and test the free agent waters. Hedo has been very vocal to local media about his intentions to opt out and sign what will likely be the last major contract of his career. Most experts agree that it will take 5 years at $50 million to appease his wishes and keep him in Orlando.

However, the key question in this rapidly deteriorating economic environment is: "can the Magic afford to hand out another big contract??? "

Let’s break down the team payroll before we tackle this question. The Magic currently have five players locked up in contracts for the next four to five years (2009-2010 salaries in parentheses). Dwight Howard ($15.1), Rashard Lewis ($18.9), Jameer Nelson ($6.1), Mickael Pietrus ($5.75), Courtney Lee ($1.2) for a total of $47.0

They have committed 61% of the total payroll for this year to these five players and that percentage will only increase as the contracts escalate and what had been expected to be a growing NBA cap number is reduced. As you can see these five will take roughly $47 million of next year's cap space.

The team also has two more players in the final guaranteed years of their contracts.
Tony Battie at $6.3 and JJ Redick at $2.8

This brings us to seven players and $57 million in guaranteed contracts. If the cap is only reduced by $1 million (a moderate estimate but it could be more), this will set the luxury tax at around $70 million. The luxury tax is a number that Otis Smith and ownership have already sworn to be their payroll limit leaving roughly $13 million to fill out the roster. Let me say that again, only $13 Million to fill out six or seven roster spots!

Now let’s look at the three players with options on their contracts.
Hedo Turkoglu at $7.4 million (player option) Rafer Alston at $5.2 million (only $2.5 is guaranteed if he is waived), and Anthony Johnson at $2.1 million (non-guaranteed).

I fully expect Anthony Johnson and his non-guaranteed contract to be released. The team can bring him back at the vets minimum or bring in another free agent point guard (Tyronn Lue maybe). Keeping Rafer Alston would be wise considering Jameer Nelson generally misses games every year, although he has had no major injuries before like his current one. If the Magic keep Rafer however, they will be left with close to $8 million under the cap with only 8 players and two free agents still to re-sign in Hedo and Marcin plus add another 2 or 3 players at the vets minimum for depth.

One option would be finding another team under the cap or holding a trade exception and who is willing to take on Tony Battie, Mickael Pietrus or Rafer Alston (a difficult task made harder by the economy). Re-signing Hedo Turkoglu (at the number he wants) AND staying under the luxury tax is going to be a near impossible task for Otis Smith. Fans of the Magic and other NBA teams (most are going to be facing similar difficult decisions), need to prepare themselves to lose key players this summer and possibly next without compensation simply because their team can not afford to keep them.

If Hedo really does want to stay in Orlando he may have a better chance by NOT opting out and waiting until 2010 when the Magic have several large contracts expiring (Battie and Alston) that will allow them more space to work the deal he deserves. If he chooses to opt out he may want to remember that safe word “Spumoni” because he and the other 2009 free agents are likely to be wrestling with the worst bear market in NBA free agent history.

Pun Watch

2009-02-24T22:39:00.004-05:00

While watching "NBA Fastbreak" on ESPN, I noticed the producers couldn't resist using a bad pun while showing an email from a so called "disgruntled" Magic fan. Yeah guys, he's disgruntled because the puns are starting to bore him. See what I did there?

Remember this?

2009-02-24T12:02:00.011-05:00

Do you all remember this little image that appeared what seems to feel like 10 years ago on the official Magic web page? I sure didn't, until I was going over my files on my computer. I was just looking around at all those old files and ran across this one. "Oh yeaaaaaaaah, I remember we signed this guy for like a minute!" I proclaimed.

I never agreed with this signing, I mean we've all seen what most college coaches accomplish in the NBA. At least lately. Not really being a college ball fan, I barely saw a few games from this guy, and sure, they won two titles in a row, best team and thus, best coach in college, maybe. They play right here in Florida, so it apparently made sense to the team.

I guess. I never bought that Otis Smith wanted to sign this guy. I always thought it was more a PR move, to get more fans in the building and some excitement to Orlando. Even if it meant not being competitive for a few years. Man was I glad he changed his mind...and how lucky the team was that Stan Van Gundy really wanted to stay in Florida and had not signed that contract with Sacramento.

Can you imagine this team being as successful without Stan?

Me either. Stan has proven yet again, that he is one of the best coaches in this league. He might not have the experience of Pat Riley(blah), Jerry Sloan, Phil Jackson, Don Nelson, and others, but I consider him just as good a coach. I truly believe Stan can be a hall of fame coach by the end of his career, and that what we are seeing is just the start. I can already see him in Orlando for many many many years. There's already talk of an extension. I hope we sign him for 100 years.

The guy can bring the best out of his players. Orlando at one point had lost 3 starters. Still won. We lost Pietrus for weeks. Still won. Lost our all-star point guard for the season. Still won....I mean they did struggle badly, but playing .500 ball while losing a star is not that bad...He is making Courtney Lee play at a high level. Have you seen Lee on the court on defense? he must deflect 20 passes a night. He has even made JJ Redick a decent backup SG. Who would have thought?

Now Otis pulls a brilliant trade, where the team lost...uhmmmm...nothing, and received a starting PG that is meshing extremely well with the team. I for one didn't think this was possible this year. I didn't think we would get a starting PG. Otis did.

But it is Stan who will bring the best out of Rafer Alston, yet again, and keep us playing on a high level and as title contenders.

Doesn't this make you all tingly inside? The feeling we had as Orlando Tragic (typo but I'm keeping it) fans for many many many years is gone. I for one feel we can win every night. Unlike past seasons where the feeling was pretty damn scary.

So here's to you Stan Van Gundy. You might be too short and fat to play basketball. You might look like porn star Ron Jeremy. You might wear turtle necks and suit jackets that are way to short for you. You might not believe in styling your hair. You might have a beautiful pornstache, but goddammit are you a great basketball mind!!!

Thank You Coach.

Keep this train going.

P.S........Remember this......

Tonight: Magic @ Bulls

2009-02-24T08:36:00.005-05:00

8:00 PM, Fox Sports Net Florida:

Riding a 2-0 record since the Rafer Alston trade last week, the Orlando Magic will try to keep the good vibes flowing tonight against the new-look Bulls in Chicago. This is the third meeting between the teams this year, with Orlando winning the previous two. On November 3 Orlando won at home, 96-93. Dwight led Orlando with 22 points and 15 boards while now former Bull Drew Gooden put in 21. On New Years Eve Orlando traveled up to Chicago and whipped up on the Bulls 113-94. The Magic had 7 players in double figures, led by Rashard Lewis' 21. Former Gator Joakim Noah had 19 for the Bulls, upping on the 17 he scored against Orlando in the November 3rd matchup.

Chicago made some changes last week and will come out with a drastically different starting lineup tonight. Against the Pacers on Sunday the Bulls started Luol Deng, Tyrus Thomas, Joakim Noah, Ben Gordon, and Derrick Rose. New Bull's Brad Miller came off the bench, as did John Salmons and Tim Thomas.

Here is the ESPN preview and a look at the current Bull's roster.
The Orlando Sentinel has their preview as well as an article about Hedo getting his grove back and a second article claiming Orlando is clearly a winner in the Alston trade.
Yahoo! has a preview also.
Check out Blog-A-Bull for thoughts from the other side.
And finally, the Chicago Sun-Times has a nice little piece about new Bull John Salmons and the Chicago Tribune wrote about the time needed for the new-look bulls to find their stride together.
Ohh, and Dwight Howard was named the Eastern Conference Player of the Week.

Also, Hedo and his wife are due to have their first baby on Thursday. Said Hedo:

"I have my first child coming and we're very excited about it and on the other hand I still have to do my job... I just have to try to get better every day and do stuff to make that happen every day. And then you try not to worry about anything else while realizing I need to handle my business on the court."

That's right Hedo, do stuff to make that happen every day.

Thanks to NikeTalk for the image of Nick about to knock it free from Jordan.

The Only Thing To Fear Is Fearlessness

2009-02-23T11:30:00.007-05:00

Last week, while watching his 45 point, 19 rebound, 8 block ritual beating of the Charlotte Bobcats, I was struck by an odd feeling: I felt truly sorry for Dwight Howard.

It wasn't the first time I felt that twang of sympathy for the NBA's best center. The first time was during last year's playoffs, when Howard was playing a Raptor's team that had no answer for him.

It sounds like a strange feeling, admittedly. Why would you feel sorry for a man who signed an 80 million dollar contract extension with his team, and has enough endorsement money to replace Iowa with a several hundred mile wide bowl of pudding(which might be an improvement over Iowa as it is now, but that's not important right now). But the reason I felt sorry for Dwight, and the reason I feel sorry for him now is summed up in the one word I've used and heard use in every conversation about Dwight Howard that I can ever remember being a part of: the word "potential".

If you have never seen Dwight Howard up close, you can't really appreciate it. You just can't truly understand how huge this man is until you've seen it up close. He's 6'11" and appears to be carved out of stone, like some Renaissance statue sculpted to depict the perfect center. Standing next to the man, I felt like a little boy, and I say that as someone who's 6'2" in shoes and weighs 175. I'm not exactly a small person, but Dwight Howard made me feel like I was fun-size. That'd be well enough on it's own, but then you watch him play, and you realize that not only is he a giant He-man made entirely out of muscle, but he also runs faster and jumps higher than you ever will.

So when Dwight Howard walks onto a court to play basketball, it's almost impossible to judge him based off the merits of what he does; instead, you are almost forced, subconsciously, to judge him based off what you believe he could do. That's where the whole potential factor creeps into your consciousness. How good would Dwight be if he could hit his free throws? How good would be if he had a few more reliable, go to post moves? How good would he be if he had a reliable face up jumpshot? How good would he be if he brought the intensity on defense every night? How good would he be if he further cut his turnovers down? If he further cut down his fouls?

None of those questions are invalid; rather, they are the kinds of hypotheticals that have come to blur, more and more, the apparency of what Dwight is doing right now. Dwight's numbers this year are great, and most people have no trouble whatsoever admitting that they're great. He's a legitimate top 3-5 MVP candidate, he should be the runaway favorite for DPOY, he's almost assuredly going to lead the league in blocks and rebounds, he's turned into a threat to go off for 20/15/3 every night while playing great defense(which is actually a kind of spectacular feat), all while being a great teammate and a growing leader for his team. In short, he's the consensus best center in the NBA. And he's 23, and constantly getting better.

So when left with a 23 year old who's clearly the best player in the league at his position but is still somewhat raw, I guess the common thinking is to compare him to previous greats at his position. That's fine, and if Dwight truly wants to be the greatest ever as he's said, then that's ultimately what the discussion will evolve into, but is it really fair to compare a 23 year old's potential to prime Shaq? Is it really fair to compare Dwight's rebounding potential to Moses Malone's? To compare his potential post game to Hakeem's? Doesn't saying repeatedly what Dwight isn't just obscure the things Dwight already is?

Perhaps the most common statement about Dwight that you'll hear repeated by people who are, apparently, retarded is: "All he does is dunk". Occasionally, you'll also be blessed with: "He hasn't really improved on offense since coming into the league". Those statements would sound stupid on a message board coming from someone named "Slmdnkchmprulz", but the fact is that I've heard both of those statements at least 5 times a piece this season on league pass by opposing team's announcers, which is, to be perfectly honest, horrifying.

Dwight Howard's post game has clearly developed a great deal, even in just the last 12 months. He's added a running hook shot across the lane with either hand, and a baseline spin move that's unguardable when he's hitting the shot. Hell, even his FT% seems like it's slowly starting to improve, with Dwight at around 64% in 2009. That's not great in the grand scheme of things, but a 5% improvement is still a 5% improvement. And that's not even touching on lesser known things, like the fact that, according to basketball-reference.com, if Dwight had played enough games to qualify(he'll hit that mark late this season), Dwight's career rebounding percentage of 20.4% would rank 3rd all-time, behind just Dennis Rodman and Swen Nater, or the fact that he's gone from being a decent defender to being arguably the most significant defensive presence in the entire league.

I, for one, can't wait to see what he's like when he finally reaches his potential.

Events Center Update

2009-02-23T11:29:00.006-05:00

The Orlando Events Center is coming along in downtown Orlando. Below is the latest pic from the webcam and you can learn a lot more here.

Click to enlarge

Also, the Orlando Sentinel ran a story about the progress of the three venues on the agenda for the city. Of the three venues (the new arena for the Magic, the performing arts center, and the renovation of the Citrus Bowl), the Sentinel only declared the arena as a guarantee... And that's only because it's currently being built. Both the performing arts center and Citrus Bowl are very much in question of ever being built now due to, if you haven't heard, a downturn in the economy.

Special Emergency Meeting of Music Monday

2009-02-20T13:24:00.003-05:00

My heart has been filled with joy with this latest trade. I, along with others, have always thought I was a curse to our beloved Magic. I was in love with Mike Miller, Travis Diener, James Augustine, even, damn this is hard to choke out, I promise it was never real, I was just trying to do my part, J.J. Redick.

Skip-To-My-Lou >>> JJ Redick >>> James Augustine >>> Travis Diener >>> Mike Miller

I have faith that my curse has been broken. I spent this season squashing my love for Gortat for the good of the team or was that the promised broken bones by my friends?

This is a day of celebration and it is what every Magic fan needs right now.

Fly's in the buttermilk,
Shoo, fly, shoo,
Fly's in the buttermilk,
Shoo, fly, shoo,
Fly's in the buttermilk,
Shoo, fly, shoo,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Cat's in the cream jar,
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
Cat's in the cream jar,
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
Cat's in the cream jar,
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Here from Texas,
Two by two,
Here from Texas,
Two by two,
Here from Texas,
Two by two,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Lost my partner,
What'll I do?
Skip to my lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

TPASTBM reacts to the Rafer Alston Trade

2009-02-20T10:23:00.010-05:00

Well, we here at TPASTBM have consensus on viewing the trade for Rafer Alston as a big win for the Orlando Magic. Here are the reactions from some of our contributors:

The Nickel Steak:
It's hard to take seriously the notion that any trade that works on an internet trade checker is seconds from happening, which most of the internet community seems to buy into. But it's the same logic that makes this trade so strange.

The Magic gave up as close to nothing as humanly possible and got a serviceable point guard who was, at the time, starting for a playoff team. He'll be a decent starter for the remainder of the year and he'll give the Magic a very good rotation at the 1 next season when Jameer is healthy. And it cost Brian Cook and a late first round pick, and if the way teams acted at this deadline is an indication, the Magic will be able to buy as many picks as they want this year if they're willing to spend, and if the Magic weren't willing to spend, then the pick had no value anyway.

I still don't understand how this happened.

Jackie Moon:
While Rafer Alston is no Jameer, I love this deal. Replacing Jameer without giving up a core player or taking on a bad contract shows Otis is growing as a GM. Alston is legitimate starting veteran NBA PG who already knows Stan's system. Plus his contract expires next year and is only guaranteed for $2.5 million. So once he gets done helping us continue our goal of competing for a championship, his contract becomes a valuable trade asset this off season should we choose not to keep him as a backup.

Maxwell Effort:
I really thought the whole "Otis working the phone" thing was a ploy to make the fans feel like he tried but holy heck was I shocked when he pulled this off. Starting caliber point guards on playoff teams are usually not available at the deadline. I compare my feelings to finding a $20 bill in your pocket a week after washing your jeans. Totally unexpected yet awesome at the same time and always puts a smile on your face. I have more Magic pep in my step this morning and that is a good thing!

The Big Train:
I like this deal, not so much because it puts us once again on the level of Boston and Cleveland, because it doesn't. But rather what it does for this team next year. Jameer will be starting again with Alston as the backup PG... A drastic upgrade over Anthony Johnson. Second, this allowed the Magic to get rid of Brian Cook's contact - a player option of 3.5 million next year - without taking back a drastically larger one (Alston is slated to make $5 million next year). As for the first round draft pick, in a weak draft a late first round pick isn't really a loss. Finally, this does not throw a wrench in the process of resigning Tuck when he opts out this summer. I will miss Adonal though....

The OCTB:
Although I am excited about the trade and feel that it should give a boost to this season’s potential, I have to point out the irony that two or our most discussed trade pieces – Keith Bogans and Brian Cook – were both traded for point guards and because of an injury. Many Magic fans were hoping that those players could have been used to add bulk in the frontcourt.

But no one can predict these injuries and it speaks well of Otis Smith that he effectively used those assets to fill a need. We really only sacrificed a low first rounder in a weak draft. Bogans and Cook were likely gone in the offseason anyway.

Jareth Cutestory:

The Morning After...

2009-02-20T09:07:00.007-05:00

Otis Smith and the Magic were able to make a move before yesterdays trade deadline, acquiring playground legend Rafer Alston from the Houston Rockets in a three team deal. Outgoing for the Magic are a '09 first round draft pick, Brian Cook, Mike Wilks, and future politician Adonal Foyle.

Let's see what the internet has to say:

First, Jameer Nelson had his season ending shoulder surger yesterday.
Ken Burger over at CBS Sportsline noted that Orlando was the only team in contention that made and sort of serious move yesterday.
David Aldridge called the move "brilliant" over at NBA.com.
Johnny Ludden over at yahoo forgot that Rafer played for SVG in Miami.
Former Magic man Brian Cook was disappointed Orlando didn't give him a chance.
The Sentinel's Magic blog argues that Otis is starting to come into his own as an NBA GM.
Schmitz has the lowdown on how while Jameer was getting his shoulder done by the famous Dr. James Andrews, Otis was getting the Alston deal done.
Bianchi writes that this deal will end up better than that last Houston/Orlando trade.
John Denton of the Florida Today said something had to be done considering the PG play as of late.
Here is the Houston Chronicle's perspective on the deal.
ESPN's Jon Barry declaired the Orlando trade a winner.
Hollinger gave the trade grade for the Magic a 'B'.
Chad Ford reports that Orlando turned down a deal for "a better point guard: Jamaal Tinsley."
And finally, here is the ESPN.com story that comes along with a podcast that discusses the trade.

Breaking News: Jameer Nelson Has Season Ending Surgery

2009-02-19T20:28:00.003-05:00

From the desk of the "Let's Slip This In Real Quiet Like" department, the Orlando Magic announced on their website that Jameer Nelson had season ending surgery on his injured shoulder this afternoon.

Here's the link the announcement: http://www.nba.com/magic/news/Magic_acquire_point_guard_Raf-301465-66.html
Notice how they snuck it in along with the bigger news of the Rafer Alston trade!

I think it is safe to say that the decision to do the surgery and the ability to make the trade for Alston go hand-in-hand. One directly influenced the other and vice-versa. The disappointing play of Hedo and our other point guards of late was surely a factor as well. It probably also helped Otis in his negotiations if he didn't have to admit that Nelson was shut down for the season. Hmmm...I wonder if Nelson was getting in on the subterfuge the other night by stating that he wanted to play!

One other factor in why this hasn't hit the newspaper sites as of this writing is that the team was coming back from New Orleans last night. I can't remember now if I saw Nelson on the bench for the Hornets game, but it would have been really easy for Nelson to stop in Birmingham on the way home. The beat reporters that travel to the away games wouldn't have noticed him being gone yet, especially when they were all focused on the trade deadline today.

So, it appears that this is now Rafer Alston's team to lead from the PG spot. As for Jameer, we here at TPASTBM wish him a speedy recover and full health at the start of the 2009-2010 season!

Magic grab Rafer Alston

2009-02-19T15:22:00.011-05:00

4:15 Update:

The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that along with Brian Cook the Magic have sent Adonal Foyle and Mike Wilks in order to make the numbers work.

I will miss Adonal... Best of luck politicin' in the future.

Psst....don't be surprised if Foyle is released and signs back with us! FTW!!

---------

3:55 Update:

Here come the puns. ESPN main page:

Magic Answer? Rafer Alston going to the Magic might wind up being the most significant trade on an anticlimactic deadline day.

Hardy har har, ESPN.

Here's the story...

----------

3:37 Update:

ESPN's John Hollinger is running a chat about the trade deadline.

Dan [via inert]: If Stein's reported deal is accurate, wouldn't Orlando have been better off just acquiring Lowry themselves? Also, the post says Cook to Houston, not Memphis.

John Hollinger: (3:22 PM ET ) You are correct on Cook, and actually it would have to be that way for the #s to work. So for Memphis it's basically Lowry for a first. Interesting. I think Orlando wanted Alston more than Lowry -- especially given his history with Stan VG.

Steve (Orlando): So How much does Alston add to the Magic? He's no Jameer Nelson but he seems like a terrific upgrade from Johnson after last night's fiasco

John Hollinger: (3:28 PM ET ) Yes, at both ends. I think he guarantees Orlando reaches the second round of the playoffs, and that added playoff dough is important for a team that just had to borrow $10 million from the league.

-------

From ESPN:

Marc Stein: Looks like we have a fairly significant three-way deal that has been submitted to the league just before the trade deadline.

NBA front-office sources tell ESPN.com that Orlando is acquiring Rafer Alston from Houston to fill the void created at point guard by Jameer Nelson's shoulder injury.

The Rockets will receive Memphis guard Kyle Lowry, Orlando forward Brian Cook and perhaps two other minimum-salaried players to make the finances work.

The Grizzlies will receive a first-round pick from Orlando.